Good morning specifically to the group of friends on the train sipping pink tins of daiquiris, one describing how her dad's brother and stepmum's sister got together at her dad's wedding, answered by a man sporting snazzy waxed moustache and Christmas jumper with the words 'bunch of inbreds'

Haywain - Closed

& flat calm, silence until you send up five mallards to rouge in sunset; two pinkfooted geese pace & twist their necks to watch you go

If you're seeking out something fun to watch and don't feel inspired by the schedules, this is a really entertaining Christie adaptation (written/directed by Hugh Laurie) with a great cast www.itv.com/watch/agatha...

Miss Marple previewed.

Which reminds me that this was a real, actual product:

I reinterpreted the 1950s clown cake.

First edition Meet Mr. Mulliner, from 1927! The description inside begins: 'This book provides laughter, laughter all the way. Meet Mr. Mulliner and the spirits soar upwards.'

Wrapped the family’s presents in newspaper to be eco-considerate and just discovered my wife’s has Jeffrey Epstein staring out of the top

Christmas Day has begun, as it so often does, with me sellotaping a photo of Michael Kitchen onto a roll of foil as a joke present for the member of my family who particularly likes Foyle's War. Not sure I needed to bother with any other gifts tbh, it won't get better than this

Just bumping the link for donations, if you can spare any moolah #DuvetKnowItsChristmas www.gofundme.com/f/duvet-know...

Some Wodehouse on #Radio4 👍

Pretty sure my Christmas has already peaked with a present of tickets to see my favourite band when I was growing up, whom I've never managed to see live. From here on in it's just food and fairy lights

Victoria Wood’s authorised biography reveals that on Christmas Day she would make her friends and family watch Fanny Cradock Cooks for Christmas (available on iPlayer) and this, the best thing ever shown on ITV: youtu.be/AVt9AqE0toY?...

Don’t preach to people about water used for a once-a-year Christmas dinner when AI is sucking it up like a Henry on steroids.

mum they're back and they still want figgy pudding

Ladybird Artists Advent Calendar Final window ‘Skating by Moonlight’ Artist: Ronald Lampitt

Who are these darlings you all keep killing you absolute monsters

It's also a tale of redemptive friendship

Tired: debating whether Die Hard is a Christmas film Inspired: arguing that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is a Christmas film because its teaming of Michael Caine and Frank Oz makes it the spiritual prequel to The Muppet Christmas Carol

I don't have a cat in a tree or a basket of Christmas lights. But I do have a newt in a tiny Christmas hat.

I honestly cannot stop laughing

Lost tourist: 'It's very nice but not *quite* as grand as I'd expected'

Rare footage of St Paul’s Cathedral testing its giant flamethrower

Been relegated to the tiny bedroom by my pal's mum & aunt, this pillow feels like a bad omen

Sunrise on the Harty Marshes, south Sheppey, after my night in a church out here. No better place to be on a winter’s morning. #WinterMarshes #Sheppey #WinterSolstice

Spooner's career as a continuity announcer was short-lived

Erik Satie predicts:

Joyful Christmas things! #1. Good King Wencleslas youtu.be/-ZjtdudO6dU?...

Dreadful driving conditions tonight, take care everyone

Each year a little more grateful to have done November, which lasts approximately three shitting months, then on to the polished bobsleigh track of December. It's the darkest day of the year, then it's not. Just by being alive we vanquish the dark. The light's coming back. So is hope. Love you. x

To the tune of Goldfinger: 🎶 Wood-burnerrr [bwa-bwaah-bwaah] It's the fire, The fire made of blazing logs Amazing logs 🎶

Just turned a corner in Tesco to be faced with the most enormous trolley laden with Quality Street tubs bearing mercilessly down on me, almost got flattened, what a way to go

love starting a carol with "god rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing ye dismay", it's the equivalent of starting a phone call with "okay so it's all fine, DON'T freak out"

Worth browsing #TheArchersXmasBingo cards if you listen to #TheArchers but even more so if you don't, as they give a sense of how bizarre the storylines have become (always have been?), and that most of us still listen because it's inadvertently one of the funniest shows on radio

The study 'also found that AI-related water use now exceeds the entirety of global bottled-water demand.'

Writing Christmas cards is a good opportunity to take stock and reflect on the changes the year has wrought, such as how much my handwriting has deteriorated again

Festive Albert Hall

Our thanks to @drmatthewsweet.bsky.social for alerting us to the fact that the Daily Mail thought it was “Patricia” Hodge who carried out the Arts Council review…

EPISODE 4 and it's about pioneers of the Jazz Age! But also about WW2, espionage & heroism! But also about the US Civil Rights Movement & fighting racism internationally! But also about princesses, pigs & the power of silliness! Because it's about Josephine Baker! www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

“say it’s bell ringers”

On a train, poring over Christmas sheet music while wearing my @quiresandplaces.com Word hoodie, a very normal commute

when a mutual stops posting

Other work of the Ladybird artists. ‘Knole Park, Kent’ Artist: Ronald Lampitt (Readers Digest cover)

RIP.

Bit of a dream come true today: got to be in the room to hear an awards speech given by one of my heroes, Janet Baker – singer of huge integrity and skill, who knew and worked with Britten, was best mates with Patricia Routledge, and is an all-round living legend

Imagining Austen in whatever afterlife writers inhabit, eavesdropping on the conversation and cheerfully noting particularly inane remarks to use next time she creates a self-satirising idiot in a novel.