“War is cruelty and you cannot refine it.”

Quote with your vibe if you were a vampire

I would not trust someone who *doesn’t* disparage the Midwest.

Lesson for young hockey players—this is a prime example of when you should play the man and not the puck. Move your feet and block the lane to the net instead of reaching.

Not overlooking all the legal problems and bizarre language that makes this filing read like a Truth Social post, but invoking the Butler assassination attempt is nonsense. Trump was not President; no legendary presidential ballroom could have protected him.

Trump: “Had there been a 250-foot arch with golden statues near the Lincoln Memorial, this tragedy could have been avoided. Thank god we added my name to the Trump-Kennedy Center, or it could have been far worse.”

Oswald would have never had a clear shot at JFK if we built a replica city for the President’s convertible motorcade rides.

Interrogator: who do you work for? BlueSkyer: pff, I was laid off Interrogator: we know everything, you’re on our list BlueSkyer: Shitlibs? Interrogator: very well, let’s try this then [activates electrodes] BlueSkyer: [clasps on nipples coursing with electricity] ARRRRRGGGGHHH DON’T STOP

Tiny devil on shoulder: you should refresh your BlueSky feed, something big may have happened since you looked at your phone 38 seconds ago

How dare you. They have the *second* worst team with the *second* highest payroll.

You’re laughing? Mets are the worst team in baseball with the highest payroll and you’re laughing?

At what point do Democrats (and everyone else for that matter) realize that the GOP’s asymmetrical call for cooler political rhetoric is, in itself, fascist propaganda?

KASH: Officer, shotgun. Now! OFFICER: What? KASH: That’s an order. There’s no time! OFFICER: [hands Kash gun] KASH: Goddammit, no. I’ll do it myself. [grabs beer can and pulls out car keys]

“Celebrating the First Amendment”

Wolf Blitzer reporting live from the Reichstag Fire.

Putting pajamas on an overtired 3-year-old the same way I would catch a bat in a pillow case.

Kid: Dad, why is the princess from Super Mario in the ice tray? Me: it’s my constitutional right Kid: what? Me: in this household, we believe in freeze peach

Late Stage Capitalism: Anthropomorphizing pastries as a means to sell pastries.

TWO RBS FROM THE SAME TEAM BOTH IN THE FIRST ROUND IS THAT THE FIRST TIME EVER? Someone do the research for me

THE CARDINALS SAW THE GIANTS TAKE SAQUON #2 OVERALL AND SAID "I WANT THAT FOR ME"

both of the college football players have been drafted. the nfl draft is now over

🥹 #GoIrish

❤️ 🍀 #GoIrish

The trick is to use the delayed-delivery function so your late night lawyer email arrives in the client’s inbox at 7:55 the next morning. That way, the client thinks you’re a hardo in addition to super sad.

saying nice things about the Bucks so let's keep this going, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish are good people who show up for this thing every year

@edsbs.bsky.social $1 for each of Jeremiyah Love’s rushing yards (on 8 carries) the last time the Hoosiers lost a football game, which was to that other team from Indiana. (plus fees) #GoIrish

Federal courthouses in richest country in the world: 0.05-ply toilet paper.

We will need to rebuild the US Attorney’s Office and DOJ, with a division dedicated to prosecuting every bit of corruption by Trump, his family, associates, and every other opportunist. I dream of applying for a position if the day ever finds us.

Actual picture of my law school diploma.

Not falling for this again.

Are you a BlueSky user with banger posts interrupted by unlawful “forbidden” or “not enough resources” errors? Deprived of likes, reposts, and validation in violation of your protected right to be an idiot online? You may be entitled to compensation! Call 1-800-BlueSkee-Law for justice now!

Has there ever been a more unified time in history where if someone utters the word “anti-Christ” everyone on the planet knows exactly who they are talking about?

This “technical difficulties” graphic on the SNY broadcast for the Mets-Dodgers game is amazing.

Tired: blasphemy Wired: malpractice

A statement from University President Rev. Robert A. Dowd, C.S.C., in support of Pope Leo XIV:

Sending JD Vance to do peace negotiations is like sending a BlueSky moderator to talk about waffles in a pancake house.

The collapse of democracy ruined everything. Having to agree with fans of rival sports teams because we share the same core values and human decency sucks ass.

“Gimme back my son!” 🔉 #Masters

In the blink of an eye, things get ugly for Rory and he drops out of the lead, going +3 over two holes. #Masters

Hardliners? When you bomb a country to kill all of its leadership, you can’t really be surprised that whoever is left won’t trust you…

Rory with a massive chip-in birdie on the 17th after scrambling from the trees. Enjoying a 5-stroke lead as the second day is nearing its end. #Masters

To be clear, I expect my prize for defending the Catholic Church to be an upgrade from burning in a flaming tomb in the 6th Circle of Hell to a cramped studio in Limbo, where I can kick it with some cool pagans and a bunch of babies, but there aren’t enough chairs.

If this is the catalyst for Marcus Freeman becoming President of the United States, that would be great for the country, but devastating for Notre Dame football.

Not only do we have a toll on what was once free, the toll mechanism will be an untraceable corruption machine. Art of the Deal.

C’est fire 👨🏼‍🎨

Crystal Ball: -Iran ends hostilities by paying Trump a cut of all Strait tolls, literally using the words “emolument” and “bribe” in the process -GOP says “hell yeah” -Dems too chicken to utter the word “impeach” -John Roberts carves “official acts” into his desk with a switchblade

Wall Street and both sides of the aisle in Congress celebrating a purported conditional cease-fire that the rest of world knows is not actually happening.