The humiliation of not only getting captured by Barrow-Wights straight after leaving Tom Bombadil's house, of not only having to call Tom Bombadil for help, but having to do that by singing Tom Bombadil's jaunty little theme tune? Absolutely not. Death by Barrow-Wight please.

Apple TV doesn’t do marketing? Do the whispers of a blind prophet in the Kabul market not count? The petroglyphs depicting the Morning Show found in the Forbidden Tomb in Giza? I personally learnt about See from a statue in Rome that spoke in the voice of a long-dead child.

Watching The Emperor's New Clothes, in which Ian Holm plays Napoleon Bonaparte as he escapes from St. Helena and gets distracted on his way back through France by using his military tactical genius to help a village of melon farmers to prosper

One of my favourite bits. Never get tired of seeing these

Public service announcement: The criminally-underseen plague apocalypse series Station Eleven can be bought on Apple TV in its entirety for just £2.99 right now. Stars both Himesh Patel and Danielle Deadwyler who'll be leading Ryan Coogler's X-Files reboot www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPm5...

Ever since I watched the movie Jaws, I’ve been terrified of swimming in the ocean with a canister of compressed air in my mouth.

I don't want to sound like I'm trying to seduce you, but my bedroom is only 19c this morning

Watching Steven Soderbergh's Contagion and having to keep reminding myself that it was made before Covid and not after

Public service announcement: The criminally-underseen plague apocalypse series Station Eleven can be bought on Apple TV in its entirety for just £2.99 right now. Stars both Himesh Patel and Danielle Deadwyler who'll be leading Ryan Coogler's X-Files reboot www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPm5...

"it is increasingly looking likely that there will be further potential for very hot weather to return starting in the second week of July" I am going to fight the sun www.netweather.tv/weather-fore...

I think one of my favourite paintings is the one where Captain Oates has just been kicked in the balls by a penguin.

New gender-neutral greeting just dropped

The bit in SPACED where Marsha says that the classified ads guy was "a bit of a prick" and it smash-cuts to a pre-fame Ricky Gervais has only become funnier with age

*Watching One Foot In The Grave* wow this didn't age well (shot of a couple living comfortably in a beautiful semi detached Greater London house on a retired security guard's pension)

Are you telling me your "dining across the divide" series achieved nothing?

UK heatwave (final form)

Excuse me but I was led to believe that today would be cooler? And yet

What if yams were made in a machine instead of grown as a crop. Imagine a British skinhead going ‘all day long I’m in the factory making yams with me mates.’ He’s not the racist kind either. It’s ok to like him

pretty devastating dunk at the end of this paragraph

There is a very real argument being made in Hollywood that AI democratizes filmmaking, making it available to outsiders. In truth, the cost of effective generative AI is cost prohibitive to all but corporations, leading to no improvement in quality at the cost of jobs both above and below the line.

Well it's a million degrees in England right now and you know what that means. Time to film chocolate week on the Great British Baking Show

Not to be all "this is what they took from us" about this but this is how they filmed the high speed train fight in the first film compared to how they filmed the high speed train fight in the penultimate film. Which of the two most looks like Tom Cruise is really on top of a fast moving train

Watching one of the two good Mission: Impossible movies

I need the most middle-class ice-cream you have. No that's too middle-class

"Picky bits" and "Chippy tea" are the Boaty McBoatfaces of food terminology

Clearly it’s working for them, but I simply do not understand what was wrong with any or all of “picnic food” “delicatessen”, “spread” or “mezze”, all well-known terms that do not evoke some kind of dermatological complaint.

Things not looking good at the Reflecting Pool

Success is the best revenge. Or maybe arson. The point is, be vengeful

Just as an insect infected by ophiocordyceps unilateralis is compelled to climb to higher ground so the fungus spores can travel further, I am compelled in extreme heat to order repulsive iced beverages from Starbucks. The Iced Caramelised Banana Oat Shaken Espresso is something of an acquired taste

Friday has been the bit of the heatwave where we think the monster from Jeepers Creepers is finally dead and Saturday is the bit where we realise the monster from Jeepers Creepers is not dead after all

Every piece of advice on how to cope with the heat is essentially just have you considered being wetter and darker? Have you given yourself to the forest floor? Have you tried being a little fungus for a while?

(pitching Mr Magoo) He's this old guy who's partially sighted but lacks insight into his disability - he's also showing early signs of dementia - so he's continually at risk of hurting himself & others Exec: & this is for kids? Writer: yeah like my last show the Skunk Who Doesn't Understand Consent

UK heatwave (final form)

Adjust your screen's brightness until Aaron Taylor-Johnson is barely visible

Another generation of British children cursed to have implausible memories of the Blitz

guy on a bike called out to me ‘you look so beautiful!’ and i was steeling myself for it to get weird but then he called to a guy on a different bike ‘that’s a great bike man!’ and then ‘smoothie looks fire!’ to a third guy who was drinking one. so i guess i found him. Johnny Compliments

I REMEMBER 1976

CEX senior management sweating heavily right now

imagining a grizzled hardboiled detective saying this while gripping some guy's lapels at a shady bar

It's legitimately insane how many people now just go about filming every shop and restaurant worker they interact with then posting the videos on social media for money www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

But we chopped up the potato later and fed the crew.

Not to minimise this man’s troubles but fair play to him for keeping things in perspective and not going immediately for the 9th circle of hell but instead looking at his Dante-Circle-of-Hell-O-Meter and figuring ”we’re probably at a 5”.

Wondering how widely known it is that the music genre "Yacht Rock" was coined by a 2005 online comedy video series that followed the fictionalised lives and careers of Kenny Loggins, Hall and Oates, etc. Here's episode one, apparently filmed on a potato www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMTI...

Once again I see a trailer for something and think "looks good, I'll watch that when it's out" and then months later discover that not only was it released, it's already cancelled www.avclub.com/ponies-cance...

Air so thick CAMRA just gave it a Real Ale of the Year award

Suddenly reminded of that time Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall ate human placenta harpers.org/archive/1999...