Toad, for Christ’s sake,

🚨 my dad still has Wegman’s aluminum foil with the old/correct logo on it (that hasn’t been used in almost 20 years Christ I am so old) 🚨

Elmo’s dad having a soul patch is… a choice

Thinking once again of my sister in law’s 15-foot Charlie-brown-lookin ass xmas tree, hand cut in their backyard in Squamish. I love this raggedy thing so much.

Look I just don’t think the Count has been to Swaziland ok I’m just asking questions

Can you OD on pepto

An all-timer

Send help it’s all he wants to listen to it’s been weeks he just says “mo ha ha mo HA HA”

Life day miracle!!!!!!

A wild @qntm.org sighting at the new bookstore in prospect heights

Truly the *entirety* of the wardrobe from this movie, every single look seared itself into my brain

I’ve decided this is ok for my son’s books because he can’t read and also it’s cute

Bringing back the “as a treat” format so I can say “Think I might barf, as a treat”

a new jersey-based christmas tree delivery service called Spruce Bringsteen

We took Finch to the xmas fair at the big Waldorf school near us in Brooklyn and I thought it was gonna just be like little merchants and trinkets, but it’s that AND like classrooms turned into attractions (“the Crystal Cave”?) and it’s insanely packed and I’m sweating like crazy and I want to flee.

DON’T 👏 GO 👏 AROUND 👏 SAYING 👏 HAPPY 👏 HANUKKAH 👏 TO 👏 JEWISH 👏 PEOPLE 👏 IT’S 👏 NOT 👏 ANTI-SEMITIC 👏 WE 👏 JUST 👏 DON’T👏KNOW👏 WHEN 👏 IT👏 IS👏

Happy birthday to a real one

This is what @cheatlines.co’s 3D printer looks like

“Nation Shudders at Large Block of Uninterrupted Text”

Fart noise

i've always maintained that no one should have to work late and that working late means something has gone terribly wrong on a project... and as i sit here working late i reflect on the fact that i was absolutely correct

still

Counterpoint: it sucks shit

And yet I’m still pretty sure I’m getting stupider!

not sure i'm comfortable just calling it "Black Week"

It’s about to be over for several of you

india standard time... why you gotta be 10 *and a half* hours ahead of us... why can't u b cool

Oscar, brother, I get ya

when there's a holiday sale at Le Creuset but supplies are limited

Making sure Finch has access to the appropriate educational resources

Any time a book has like a song written out in italics, I’m not reading that shit

🤞

Bong Joon Ho hit me up for the squad you legend deadline.com/2025/11/bong...

Look @katebeaton.bsky.social’s got the juice ok, I don’t make the rules!

i know this is a play on the model of the car (WRX) and the last letters of the alphabet (XYZ) but i keep trying to read it like a four-character radio station call sign and tripping over the fifth letter

Went home for Thanksgiving and immediately got a giant zit. The body remembers………

Brio still kicks ass just fyi

In Connecticut and forgot diapers and ran to the only CVS open for miles and it’s populated by dads who’ve been sent on errands to pick up some forgotten item

At daycare they asked all the toddlers what they were thankful for and Finch said “ABCs” and “apples” so basically he is 100% my son all the way

fun-little-thing alert objectiveunclear.com/airloom.html cc @cheatlines.co

Ok here’s the more legit version

They should let rowdy babies run around the cargo hold on long haul flights. What’s the harm?

EarthVore freak shit, leave me out of it