Fuck to Graham Platner

These are so good. I need more

My mom found this family tree I made in high school and I think this ancestor just showed up at Ellis Island and named himself the way Jan Brady named her fake boyfriend

THIS CAR CLIMBED MOUTH WASHINGTON [I AM BEING ARRESTED FOR VEHICULAR BANDSLAUGHTER]

What if I just took one little nap with my contacts in? Just this once

ZZ Top - Just Got Paid

A VERY PARTICULAR NIGHTMARE “A novel to keep you up nights … universally chilling … Persona goes to an unsettling place few of its peers can approach." 🎩 Ty @vol1brooklyn.bsky.social @tobiascarroll.bsky.social P.S. Buy Persona here ➡️ www.littlepuss.net/shop/p/perso...

I wonder if Blackwater Holylight is playing in Braintree because it has the same kinda name

*paula cole voice* I don’t wanna work

Ll bean sheets love ripping loudly

which one of you stunk up Sun Market so bad that they had to put up like five of these signs?

Going to look up if a song was written by Terius Nash

"Bluesky doesn't have the juice." "Real media access is still only on Twitter." "No one important uses or will ever use this site." Skill issue. If you post good, the right people will figure out how to get in touch with you.

My daughter’s dentist today was wearing this sweater with sequined dental health stuff on it and when I told her I liked it she said “thank you I think more things should have teeth on them”

the odds of this safe opening to reveal the dazed and toothless head of the person who it landed on are 100000%

Growing up, I was always CONVINCED that my ice skates were filled with blood because my feet hurt so bad, but they never were. I was just cold. Anyway this is probably why I ignored a bunch of skin getting rubbed off my ankle at the roller rink

No actor has ever had to take medicine. They just go on television and crunch a dry pill with their teeth

I don’t wanna watch tv right now everyone in the book I’m reading is doing cocaine and fighting

The child is getting herself a bowl of peppermint stick ice cream and chanting “leviathan… LEVIATHAN!”

@sweatermuppet.bsky.social is a graphic designer, published poet, zine maker, & abortion funder. His work is heavily inspired by punk posters & protest signage. He has published one book of poetry & in the last year has begun making one-page zines for the first time.

I bet the salt on the highway tastes extra good if you’re a deer

“If you and Mike had a child who was an adult man” -Natalie on Caleb Landry Jones in The Dead Don’t Die

Can't Lose for Winning 🌟 #art

I am soooo jealous of my little child’s mossy oak carhartt

Timeless humour! A 2,000 year-old Roman souvenir pen with a joke inscription roughly equivalent to: “I went to Rome and all I got you was this cheap pen!" 😂 Dated circa 70 AD, this iron stylus pen was recovered in London during excavations by MOLA. 📷 Juan Jose Fuldain/MOLA #Archaeology

Pepperoni Tolerators' Pizza

she really just loves having stuff on her forehead

oh you like vinegar on your fries? well, the true flavor enthusiast knows that vinegar is but one flavor armament in ketchup’s robust arsenal

Cool boy at the hotdog store

Asking “are you mad at me?” when the venue doesn’t give you a drink ticket

Lmk if you want a menthol bc I don’t even smoke

If you have trouble keeping your pennies in your penny loafers, try using that boogery glue from the fake credit cards you get in the mail #fashiontips

I’m just like him @rickrude-theband.bsky.social

Alternate take of “Oh, Pretty Woman” where Roy Orbison says “Bullshit” instead of “Mercy”

Are you supposed to stir with the little straws or drink out of them? I’m afraid I don’t know the rules

that is an all-timer of a headline

no one else is doing the kinda writing harmon does. it’s sharp and funny and brilliant and gay as shit. you gotta sign up for his newsletter if you aren’t already

Americans sometimes use French words like "hors d'oeuvres." And that's just for starters.

this gorgeous print by Sophie Wang and @cynthiaycheng.bsky.social commissioned by Katie Wang is the energy I am entering this new year (of the horse) with!!! wangshuf.bigcartel.com/product/towa...?

THURSDAY 2/19 at Blue! Peach Hat amiright? Rick Rude Omen Negation 7PM $15 @rickrude-theband.bsky.social @quinnamiwrong.bsky.social

didn’t realize our flier was a third of a triptych. cool!

The Bone Temple is about how if you are a calm friendly person, even the scariest people will tell you their life story. Also it’s about how what makes us human is doing drugs and listening to records

The only way to get a truly accurate Wuthering Heights adaptation is to cast Miss Piggy as Catherine

Come to Pinecone+Chickadee if you wanna watch or purchase Gigli on VHS

Hello, I wanted to share a serious situation that affects a father of two who is a friend of the family and has just detained by ICE. He has no criminal but now he faces indefinite detention in inhumane conditions. Please consider donating to help fund his legal fight. gofund.me/0171d9012

Evening shoes https://botfrens.com/collections/223/contents/101823

Happy Valentine’s Day

Making special dinner for my family. The pitas are made and the chicken is marinating