oh my god

the whimsy in this mandated training seems a little amiss

looks like a school bus

eliot weinberger, angels & saints

ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇⁱˡˡʸ ˢʰᵘᶠᶠˡᵉ

wife: you’ve been listening to sun kil moon again haven’t you me: what i would never (in a whisper) ᵇˡᵘᵉ ᶜʳᵃᵇ ᶜᵃᵏᵉˢ

💕 its t̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶g̶u̶y̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶d̶a̶y̶ precious baby weekend 💕

forgot to celebrate tuff guy friday with these. probably for the best these are honestly too tuff

🚨 da snoozer 🚨

also i thought that it was michael jordan singing it

“feeding them fish” kind of doing a Two Faces or a Vase thing here

heres a little something to look at

my beloved

someone said that patience runs in their family. i was like don’t you mean it walks

turtle therapist seeing this and independently rolling their eyes

relocated baby turtle… about the size of my shoe

myyyyyyyyyyy goooooooooolllllfffff

𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘎𝘈𝘠 𝘉𝘖𝘈𝘛: 𝘈 𝘘𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳 𝘏𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤

!!! ιтѕ тυƒƒ gυу ƒяι∂αу !!!

just realized that the geese on the ground are the same ones you sometimes see in the sky

this is by me! check it out! the Bulb Region is doing amazing work right now

celebrating major life accomplishments by drinking a 16 oz diet root beer and listening to prince’s “baby im a star” twice a low volume

evening beaver skull

samuel taylor coleridge telling his publisher what his new poem is about

loving the concept of a newborn’s “moniker” being “Baby”

dinner is from the latin for breakfast

this year’s mayday parade theme is “Fast Free Delivery with Amazon Prime”???

no not remember at all when or why i put this in my calendar but, there you go. news you can use

billy licks

🚨 ITS PRECIOUS BABY WEEKEND 🚨

notes from the group chat

the new canvassing materials the on-campus evangelicals are using are about Coping With Inflation

hey you, yes you

ITS ░ TUFF ░ GUY ░ FRIDAY

Reiki therapist: your energy is fucked up. It's bad. Me: thank you doctor. Reiki therapist: hold still I'm going to blow you up with my power.

if i got broken up with and someone told me “there’s more fish in the sea” i would be like oh great. something else to worry about

open/close

gimli voice And My Drafts

williamton

karen carpenter’s birth name was Jesus

gender-neutral bathroom naming is out of control what the hell is “electrical closet” why am i peeing on a vacuum

dreamt my mfa program became a satanic cult— with a big veiny beelzebub capriciously sacrificing us at random— and i still walked into three conversations where people were debating the relative merits of Crying In H Mart

tuff guy friday

my rachmaninoff

first nice day and kids are kicking a soccer ball on the quad but between kicks everyones looking at their phones… are you trying to end up in a new yorker cartoon??

steve reich ordering breakfast is like quiche lorraine quiche lorraine quiche lorraine quiche lorraine quiche lorraine

guy entering porta potty in the park asked guy leaving how it was in there and he was like, not great. so the guy was like, wait, should i not go in? and the other guy was like no no its not that bad. but the guy was like, im not going. so the other guy had to be like, no, please, you have to go in

ducks who live in the street puddle annual status: 🦆📈

the thing from fiction i remember the most that no one was ever supposed to remember is a salesperson on sex and the city saying “the only thing more tragic is jack berger not owning any prada”. the thing from real life is someone breaking a silence in a library to say “reggie told me you are gay”