i told the doc my hand hurts a lot and he said i have carp of tunnel ?? tf does this have to do with a fish.

I'm not smarter than a fifth grader

i should be able to call out of work if my cat is laying on me

memorial ass day

hiccups were originally invented as a way of communicating with the frogs

fear is the mind killer an also huffing gas is teh mind killer

the nice thing about worrying is there will always be something to worry about

you ever see a woman so beautiful your eyes start bleeding

wizard tries out new spell

(misremembering the phrase "chewed out") yeah my boss ate me out in front of everyone yesterday

i realized i haven't posted selfies on this account of my new haircut/color so now i am

Shaking my head before pulling the trigger to make it abundantly clear that I disapprove of being a contracted killer.

another sketch

Begging for your pardon before we've even met

an even worse haunted house but it's just the year 2026

i was goig to sacrifice u to my god but she said u were mid

Driving under the influence of the full moon

wise girl wasted

we’re gonna fuckin hug dude

counting down the sloppy seconds until the weekend

driving around in my car that's about to explode

i should've bought a house in 2007 instead of playing webkinz on the family computer

doc just prescribed me c air what the fuck is that

do u wanna come over and compare our mychart results

they should invent actions that don't have consequences

playboy u too tender for this world

Gf that exists. Gf who exists

you're really starting to piss me off, your honor

We just need to change everything about life

this water fucking tastes like hydrogen and oxygen

white people will be like i'm taking pto for an ayahuasca retreat with my landlord

@scomputer.fun and @dirte.net reading @verylarge.bsky.social with music by @particledogs.bsky.social

just had my cake and ate it theyre fucking pissed everyones losing their minds no one thought it to be possible

hi i'm mainly over on @undiscerning.bsky.social nowdays!! however, i'm annoying on that account and i genuinely wouldn't suggest following, but i just wanted to give an update in case anyone missed it bc i'm barely posting here as of right now (subject to change) love u 💖

guy who lives in antarctica: im cold

First date idea I like 400 of your posts

I’m going about things the wrong way because I can 😈

how it feels to be the last perosn to give a fuck about anyhting

Starting my own podcasts where I just read my own posts

(chilling with my platonic friends) ha ha you're so funny dude! i think i'm in love with you :/

The stairway to heaven is ableist

not n..(remembering times when the emotional absence of my father wounded me) of course kitten, daddy always has time for you

i have to crop it this way bc if i show the full pic, bluesky mods get mad at me

me when my nemesis is around: that's my fucking nemesis

god forbid a woman doesn't get her day going until well after noon

Im sorry I have a really bad case of I dont want to do that

Thanks Barret ur right 🌍

happy birthday to earth!!!

The texts have various things to say on this matter bro. No one conclusion can be drawn