i love woke

sodom slash gomorrah style ice cream

this is genuinely who i am and i need to embrace it

i'm so hungry i could be a horse

If that pervert monkey can put on boots, he sure as shit can put on some slacks.

i lowkey feel like a horse

do you think morons ever have to wait in line to make their tick tocks in front of the church

bro you repluse me

wait realistically how are we feeling about napoleon at this point

i pray to god somebody cancels me so i can go to that island with napoleon

don't talk to me till I've had my 300 years of silent contemplation

just saw someone smokinh a cigarette i feel like i'm at the zoo

Don't even try to trap me in a corn maze, bro. I'll eat all the corn.

If any of you mutinous dogs were looking for a bluesky alternative, may I recommend "the brig". Now get back to posting, you bilge rats, or there'll be the devil to pay.

thank you so much for shipping my order i don't think i want it anymore

going to the groupchat where everyone sends pictures of rainbows they see and asking if they ever get tired of bothering me

if you express a conservative opinion at my job we ban you for life

this guy's best friend is his iphone

i am literally obsessed with small luxuries . guys u have to try this

people kept being like get a job george finish your degree but i was dead and haunting and they didn't vern notice

i wish i was one of those creepy reborn dolls

i've been haunting the narrative for eleven years

guys i need eight months to a year of solitary confinement

waking up every day with a passion for fashion in INDIANA

guys i need to be restrained for my own good

guys i need the isolation chamber

I will support any candidate who vows to put podcasters in zoos where they belong

Daily affirmation I don’t give a fuck

i find all of you very charming

ENOUGH.

telling a man with a really nice watch that's clearly too big for his wrist that it's always been my dream to have a really nice watch that's too big for my wrist

guys a lot of cool things are going to happen tomorrow

honestly i always wanted to be a funeral director but they made me have a more palatable career because i was a girl

anyone else noticing serious issues in this world

siri summon my fool please. i have an errand

court sentences you to fifteen sneezed. quick succession

really focused on moisturizing lately

we have no choice but to lock in

sorry do you mind if i bring my giant metal water bottle to your wedding

you guys couldn't imagine what my deal is

i'm the most esoteric bitch jn boise

hi sorry i'm late i had to watch a bunch of videos of a guy getting bitten by snakes

they should write 'good' or 'bad' in big letters on the bottom of planes so you know if you're supposed to shoot it down

stuck between a rock and nothing

if u lay down for long enough, something incredible can happen

sorry for being derivative

daddy the walls are closing in on kitten

Ice cream should be like, a free food you can eat any time with no adverse effects whatsoever. It's a main food group

starting to think i should have studied the blade

"at least the ai movie star girls are virgins" is a very "you should be shot" thing to say