snoze and lost 😞

okay let's cancel jimmy kimmel from the left now

guys please remember to have a fun and great time

sorry what are all of you talking anotu

i think that twelve hours ago i was very stupid

Sorry I can't make it tonight my body is shutting down

i completely lost my mind ninety seconds ago

let me out

it's just me and my Bad Feeling against the world

announcing mid dinner that i just sensed everyone at this table turn against me

My Body is shutting down

Im literally so hot

i'm literally fat and chopped and unc

they call me mental issues george ☹️

top ten things you can tell yourself

Let’s wrap up the use of devices

it's so akward to be the only person in a good mood

self driving cars, self writing essays, automated grocery delivery. do these people enjoy being alive?

slur for people who are up past their bedtime. wakies

i'm sorry you guys can't relate to my posts about being well rested and happy

ok no offense also but life when u wake up in the middle of the night a bunch of times, have coffee for breakfast, and are on social media since you rolled over in bed and opened your phone pretty much

no offense life when you're well rested, well fed, and off social media until eleven am

don’t talk to me until i’ve had my goop

caramel apple treat clapping my little hands

ngl if i had a son i'd probably eat him too

Incredible weather I wish I could eat my hoodie

guys im actually a girl boy is just my screen name

adult woman with a fake id so the bartender won't know her real name

bro the girl with three copies of master and margarita is not going to save you

DO NOT SAVE MY INFORMATION

i'm tired of giving up my email address

if your cashmere sweater costs one bundred dollars it is made of homeless people and furthermore by slaves

early to bed early to rise makes a hustler healthy wealthy and wise 🔥💯

penny saved penny earned 😤💯🔥

in trouble for threatening to kill myself in the work chat :(

i'm going bestie mode

cameras should require both hands to use & be big interchangeable lens types. i estimate this would fix about 45% of problems with society

i'm going to be vulnerable here i kill people who wear ai recording glasses. if i see your little glasses camera glare i go into kill mode like a dragonfly i can't help it

i didn't know ed sheeran was real i thought he was like hannah montana

helpful paradigm shift if anything costs less than fifty dollars it is made of homeless people

wait sorry are all of the sonic hedgehogs fast or do they have different powers

do you guys ever wish you were a sonic hedgeheog

i'm calling on the full power of the united states military to blast the kappa i just saw in the bushes straight to hell

*descends into the valley* sup dudes

you guys don't necessarily understand

Babe I need you to stop going “Hapsburg mode” in public, it’s really embarrassing and bad for the empire.

i used to have rat poison bullemia

bro you just ground my gears clean off