[to waiter at chain restaurant] a round of free margaritas or I tell you it's my birthday

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No words. I believed in Ryan. We moved to Oklahoma because he promised that my awful sons Enigmus Rex and Pance would be given handguns in kindergarten and then not be given any instruction on how to use them safely. I bought a shitty gray house in Tulsa because he promised they wouldn't be woke.

The current media environment is such that I have been informed, repeatedly and urgently, that the president walked up some stairs yesterday

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

*the national anthem plays from some unseen source*

I love learning about mythology

The kingdom and the wizards HAVE BEEN FOUND! The Wizards of the Lost Kingdom are now at RiffTrax! www.rifftrax.com/wizards-of-t...

Forget The Long Walk! www.rifftrax.com/the-remarkab...

Holy shit, @rifftrax.com got Catherine Mary Stewart to do an intro for The Apple?! Amazing! Also, it's on twitch.tv/rifftrax right now!

A @rifftrax.com classic. GOD I love Death Promise!

Every news story these days sounds like “Some fuckin billionaire lunatic did something that will harm countless innocent people. Isn’t it neat?”

When ChatGPT first took off this was the use case that confused me the most. People said they “only” used it to write “first drafts.” That’s the most important draft! That’s the thinking part!

THE TRIKE IS LOOSE! It's a wild, sentient children's toy and we riffed it. www.rifftrax.com/the-remarkab...

ive never seen anything like rhetoric coming from the right in the last week, this is absolutely insane and it needs to stop and people in power need to start speaking the fuck up like right the fuck now

It should be needless to say, but it is perhaps at this moment worth saying, that transgender individuals have the same right as anyone else to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

ive said this before but every trans person i know is super into art or baseball or cars or movies and just wants to talk about that. its these weird fascist creeps who talk about people being trans all the time

Get to know … Boomy!

so much is bad right now but the AI stuff in particular is making me insane. a desperate attempt to smother all human creative labor at an absurd cost to the planet by some of the most short-sighted, rapacious, and pathetic people who have ever lived

RiffTrax presents for your viewing pleasure: Dick Wakes Up. New short! www.rifftrax.com/dick-wakes-up

How CBS Went From Edward R. Murrow to Installing a Trump Loyalist as Its Journalism Cop www.readtpa.com/p/this-is-wh...

Dragged to the Magritte exhibit:

New short tomorrow. Prepare yourselves.

When the bus costs less

I'm just going to assume that Tom Hanks is trending because people are finally discovering the Satanic Panic-era, pseudo-Dungeons & Dragons propaganda film he was in, MAZES AND MONSTERS, where he plays a tabletop gamer seduced by darkness.

It rules that everyone’s brains are complete dog shit these days

art by yours truly! 😊

There's not a lot of princess nor any frog, but there is PLENTY of boom mic! Enjoy a Barry Mahon-esque adventure in The Princess and The Magic Frog: new RiffTrax! www.rifftrax.com/the-princess...

a bunch of complete cranks that are, still, a tiny minority in this country have been allowed to impose their views on the rest of us because not a single person in their party is capable of standing up for the public good in any capacity

We used to call this stupidity. There were smart people and stupid people and we let the smart people do the things they were good at and the stupid people were taken care of and didn't need to worry about what the smart people were doing. But now we let the stupid people think they're smart.

“AI will replace movies. I can make my own version of Star Wars where I’m the hero and Obi-Wan doesn’t die.” The problem is we’ve allowed a society where adult men can say things like this without being shunned from the village to starve as a pitiful outcast.

Hey friends, things are not going very well at all and my husband & I need help. I can't ever remember being in a position where we have no viable way forward. If you can help by donating or sharing, I will be forever grateful. www.gofundme.com/manage/help-...

I've become obsessed with this @rifftrax.com short

rip to everyone whos become delusional after talking to chatgpt but im built different. like actually different. according to chatgpt im some kind of god. the one who decides

Sherlock is back at it! Watch as he lets the dogs out in The Hound of the Baskervilles! www.rifftrax.com/sherlock-hol...

A jury of my peers? TWELVE murderers?!

And if a few people die agonizing, unnecessary deaths because of something you wrote, so what? It's like Harry Lime on the ferris wheel to them

Shake hands with SAVINGS! Get 15% off all week long in time for Labor Day over at RiffTrax: rifftrax.com/offers

We ran out of shark jokes roughly 17 shark movies ago but we work around it reasonably well I think?

And I just finished it. The movie is bad, REALLY bad. But the riffs were great, REALLY great! At least the “shark” in this has more movement than the “shark” in Jaws 3(D). @rifftrax.com @kevinwmurphy.bsky.social @billcorbett.bsky.social @conorlastowka.bsky.social @seanthomason.bsky.social

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

I think they don't care about Rufo being a fascist because the guys who platform and publish Rufo are also fascists.

i will never vote for gavin newsom under any circumstances

Okay I guess I can see why this new logo is controversial

*shows up to a knife fight in a suit made of cutting boards*

Jurassic Shark is BACK! Enter the Aquapocalypse with RiffTrax! www.rifftrax.com/jurassic-sha...

Pretty wild for someone to be the default “he” when people say “is he dead yet?”

i'll say it again, my loud and vigorous support for any democrat who calls for televised hearings and criminal charges for everyone involved in DOGE. this guy should never be able to live in peace again.

I am going to have an aneurysm