Maybe tomorrow will be a new day 🙂

The Jimmy-Eaten World by Carl Sagan

Hello

malcolm in the middle ages

researchers warn of sugar-resistant 'super medicines' that could take as many as four or five spoonfuls to go down

Brandi has given some mlem blep pics for the world today.

(talking to my forwards-facing buddy) strafe over here dude

critics are calling my swag "a revelation"

Sorry, been out of the game for a while (my entire life)

im rapping with an impeccable flow

You have been blessed by Blurry Mort

you call that whimsical frolicking, playboy? you think that's merry, player?

vibrant, gracious and swag despite it all

i'm pioneering brave new sleep schedules

Almost done with my Harlem Shake video

(mortally wounded) gee whiz

For those of you who don't believe in the Bermuda triangle..

*stuffing the last rat into a big sack of rats* where we're going, we're gonna need all the rats we can get

under communism there will be more than four fruity flavors

everybody gangster til the fog rises…

came here to post this

Not looking up from my phone as I nonchalantly backflip my monster truck over a volcano

If I can smell your grill on the breeze you have to share

Take your time today. No need to rush

Everyone in my house has their own text file. Visitors to my home are invited to use guest.txt

My sons favorite book is "Stories That Go Hard"

paladin

People who leave their american flag up after 4th of july like bro what is this halloween

I'm the guy at the party who forgets to turn off the kitchen light after making some toast

A $3 @mta.info subway fare and some good Q train timing can buy you one hell of a view of the July 4th fireworks and the Brooklyn Bridge light show! Huge shoutout to the train operator for slow rolling over the Manhattan Bridge and the conductor for announcing it.

Tiptoe all you want dude. I can hear those pizzicato strings

he’s a-lookin’

🤔

July 4th is very rough on my dog (he is a royalist and considers George Washington a traitor)

We don't do birthday parties for the kids, they're too young to really understand or care. We just have a little event each time one of them intuits a Noble Truth.

Happy 4th of July!

Honestly 😭 if U celebrating 4th of July today fuck your ignorant dumbas[piece of black mold from my ceiling falls in my mouth and my pupils get all small] Fucked ET last night. Came in 5 strokes. I was shook. Whole thing felt like a pussy

America was founded 250 years ago. I remember black skinny jeans and SoundCloud rap and leftist podcasts were hip-hoppining. They still are to a guy like me.

Saturday is all about drinking your little coffee and playing it by ear

the legend of the guy who did some things

There's this notion people seem to have that every day must be this "winding road" to me its poppycock. It's foolish

I'm between couch cushions at the moment

I've wasted my life. Well, what else was I going to do with it?