pretty soon you’ll be legally required to ingest the black goo from prometheus to enter any denny’s in america

ocean’s fourteen will feature david from prometheus and alien: covenant as the newest member of the crew

yoda was a real guy. the jim henson stuff was just a cover

realizing santa won’t bring me presents for another 4 months:

he’s visited me many times through my life

don’t ever let them say that i’m unmoored. i’m moored, i’m moored!!!

keep me updated on the “giving me millions of dollars” situation, i’m very concerned with that

[nodding holding a disconnected landline to my ear] uh-huh, yeah — yeah i know we haven’t talked in a while. but could you come over tonight and hang around, tell me if i’ve been grinding my teeth in my sleep?

yoda was a real guy. the jim henson stuff was just a cover

ocean’s fourteen will feature david from prometheus and alien: covenant as the newest member of the crew

call me a creature the way i love to be featured

for only 6.99 a waitress will perform a c-section on you to replate your pancakes

the ridley scott’s prometheus denny’s tie-in is finally arriving, only 13 years too late!!! don’t miss the engineer slam, in which the biggest worker in the store walks out from behind the kitchen and beats you to death

pretty soon you’ll be legally required to ingest the black goo from prometheus to enter any denny’s in america

i’ll be thinking about this for the rest of my life

oceansposting

[tapping aggressively on your shoulder after sitting in silence for 40 minutes next to you on a plane] did you ever notice they don’t say “ocean’s 11” in the movie ocean’s eleven but they do say “ocean’s eleven” in the movie ocean’s twelve?

steven soderbergh should make ocean’s one and it’s a prequel with george clooney in a backwards hat and giant stroller to look small and it’s about danny ocean stealing candy as a baby

one of my new songs got played at the one year anniversary of goth dance night dark matter recently!!! sick as hell playlist, so cool to be among these songs: open.spotify.com/playlist/0Ym...

it would be an enormous shame if my impenetrable state of the art vault were to be broken into and plundered by nearly a dozen highly competent quirky thieves

george clooney won’t stop trying to hire me for heists, cons and schemes in beautiful las vegas

9 hours of giving birth and a single moth comes flying out

i sleep inside a set of giant ancient bones from another world

dark forces conspire to suck me off

boba fett is whoopin me at table tennis

playing with some exposed wires

yawning competitively

9 hours of giving birth and a single moth comes flying out

it would be an enormous shame if my impenetrable state of the art vault were to be broken into and plundered by nearly a dozen highly competent quirky thieves

george clooney won’t stop trying to hire me for heists, cons and schemes in beautiful las vegas

i believe i could thrive in an ocean’s eleven situation. maybe even an ocean’s twelve

last night a middle aged gay man from italy pointed at me and said “you are gay” and nothing else

walked up and down stairs like 50 times last night i feel like the ghostbusters

i’m like the jimmy buffet of people who want to die

i’m stuck inside a giant cube made of mercury

“my boy gay, sir”

“my boy gay, my boy gay!!!”

why can’t my hair look this good 24/7

i’m going to tape concert flyers to so many objects

i have to go put up show flyers again, i wish alec baldwin could drive me

it’s important to share your finest thoughts with your closest friends

new reason to be afraid just dropped!!!

they’re stochastically suckin me off

i’d be extremely comfortable with wealth and fame, but that’s me

bury me in all my favorite colors my sisters and my brothers, still

selling everything i own to buy a pill that wipes my memories blank, awaking on a mountain with no idea how i got there, unburdened, free, wandering down towards the roads, hitchhiking to the strange coasts, the only thing left in my possession? a print-out of this photo. life can be a dream

“my boy gay, sir”

buying a 4x4 block of solid rubber “in case if anything happens” and throwing rocks at traffic for 7 hours in the dark

“my boy gay, my boy gay!!!”

Dear Miss Monnica Bellucci, please Blow Me. below attached is a Photo of my Modest penis, which your Pillowy Lips would cushion w/ ease and Grace. i Look Forward to meeting u, as does my Mind of Its Own