why did this type of ball always have a bite on it when we were kids 🤣🤣🤣 #relatable

it was dumb of me to let an outsider control my mood for even just a day

I'm giving someone on here a wet willy as a prank

rocks at parks are reminders that you too can become part of something green #inspirational

pea

pulling out a 10 hit combo irl and feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment as my opponent is grimacing in pain astounded because only yesterday i couldn't even string three attacks together #grindset

Yes I'm a pickup artist, I drive a pickup and make art 🤣🤣🤣🤣

bushes, trees, ponds, flowers, men pissing, parks are so beautiful

dude i'm bringing my nintendo to your skate party, tough shit if you don't like it

It's not that I can't write for shit it's just that my writing is evocative, like abstract art

don't dedicate songs to your crushes, dedicate them to your pets, it's so much better

Can't stop thinking about how stressful it must be to be a ball inside a pinball machine

i like clean, family friendly shows like Courage the Cowardly Dog where nothing weird ever happens

It would be funny if my office was closed as a non-prank tomorrow for April's fools

I'm adopting a voodoo doll, it's something that always gets stabbed with needles but I will take care of it

You're just an impressionist (derogatory)

Impressionist art is just for filthy peasants who draw like children, how dare people use unconventional brush strokes and colours

sports betting on other people's relationships

nothing gets me more excited for car racing than logos of fossil fuel companies splattered all over the vehicles

i'm a scorpio man, of course i will pillage a village

Life should be more like an american movie from the 90s where what happens at work is irrelevant and the only thing that matters is what Timmy said to Tammy at the party and oh, what's that? A serial killer with a mask on? Who cares, let's keep dancing to generic punk music

If you don't bring me your pointiest sword I'll personally clap you in the stocks bro

The local necromancers keep some corpses under their beds to give their bedrooms a very distinct smell, they're like candles

I will challenge one of you to a wrestling match soon

no cap my slimes if my opps made cool beats i'd bump them in my whip fr

boats on a river go ⛵🌊⛵🌊

when do they decide it'll be my day? is there a wheel like in the game show? do they throw a dart on a newspaper?

you just gotta say what the fudge

the boy who tried golf

the boy who fried wolf

has anyone ever invented a card game with fantasy creatures in it? it would be so innovative

Triglycerides and fatty acids

I just decapitated yoshi

All the times I fumbled someone online or irl don't matter cuz I'm still the best looking guy, their boyfriend can take them to Ibiza or Greece all they want but I have a cowboy hat that I know they can't afford, and guess what? Chicken butt

your collection of green day cd's is so punk rock dude

[I'm staring at a camera, I'm a wrestler and it's 1987] YOU SEE, I WANT YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP, I'M COMING FOR YOU AND I'M COMING HARD AND WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE AND THE REF HAS COUNTED 1, 2, 3, ALL YOU'RE GONNA REMEMBER IS WHEN BEFORE I WAS ON TOP OF YOU FOR THE FINAL COUNT YOU SCREAMED LIKE YOU-

Me and the boys are moshing in the gym while we all have different songs in our headphones

hahaa gurl are you an onion cuz every time i undress you and slice you to pieces i cry

The pearly white lights of the moon covering the forest give the wayfarers such a good view of their surroundings as a calm and collected wind made the branches of the nearby trees dance lightly, such a good time for he, the pants stealer, just wants to play with them

In the Tekken 4 intro they show Heihachi throwing Kazuya into a volcano and when i was a kid i would replicate that scene with my toys often, the red Power Ranger would throw Tarzan off a bookshelf

Baby Yoda is dead. Baby Yoda remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? Who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent?

i'm learning how to play the piano just so i can perform the mii channel song flawlessly

everything is so stupid

😐

Kurwa!

Grocery shopping is one of the most fun things you can do, guys

when simple plan made a song for a scooby doo show it changed me