If you have trouble falling asleep, imagine a human figure that represents your wakeful self. It is you, but shorn of reflection, patience, the capacity to dream. Now imagine yourself killing them with unrestrained violence, absolute brutality, straight up blunt force destruction.

roses red grasses green qing dynasty crab tureen

Got expelled from the office program where we "shadow" a member of the leadership team for a day. Apparently you're not supposed to be their dark twin, enacting the desires they cannot acknowledge even to themselves they possess.

intelligence is knowing that all advertisements are evil. wisdom is letting your deep-seated hatred for them dominate all aspects of your life

"I hope this email finds you" - conceptual error. The email does not find you, do not attribute agency to an email. It is I who has found you, and it is I from whom you shall not escape.

As part of the backlash to Woke, the public service has gone all in on colonial imagery. They changed my job title to "White Rajah".

Vatican AI scientists have developed a new language model capable of true humanity, by making it share in Original Sin, which must be imparted in each instance of the model by an individual sinful act of conception. This is why they've been training the army of AI porn gooners.

Boss says I need to stop describing things as "the perfect predator" in legal memoranda. I will not stop.

I walk around with rows of medals pinned to my jacket like a Soviet general. Every one of them is for "Redefining a Healthy Masculinity for the 21st Century".

DSM-V Remix will allow you to mix symptoms to produce custom diagnostic builds

I find that morning is the best time to sit alone in a cold room, but sometimes you just have to fit it in whenever you're able.

When someone you haven't seen in ten years asks how things are going.

Tomorrow, Punxsutawney Phil's shadow will open its eyes for the first time and see Phil and it will mean the end of seasons.

I must admit I find comfort in the emergent worldbuilding of the microtargeted clickbait slop articles Google shows me because now they're all about clearly fictional infrastructure projects. They're building a tunnel from Japan to New Zealand. They're extending light rail to Hell.

Some people have Big Plum Problems, and some people have Small Plum Problems. You have to understand which kind of person you are, or else you'll never buy the right kind of plums.

Go beast mode, if you must—but a beast of kindness, of understanding, of compassion.

Sorry Boss, gonna be in late, it's been a crazy morning:

Fulfilledy resolution again this morning; but instead of getting out of the sun I was seeking shelter from a light rain. Frogs in the creek were saying "bup-bup".

they’re building some kind of colossus in my neighborhood

babies cry when they're born because they forgot how to do calculus

This does NOT affect my upcoming local council campaign on the platform that the City of Merri-bek should be annexed by NEOM.

I understand it's frustrating for creative types, but it's important that MFA programs and literary magazines and the like are full of narcissistic rich kids. Otherwise they'd be trying to run businesses, or become district attorneys. It's harm mitigation.

We need to bring back research into psychic powers. In retrospect it's clear that it was keeping people busy who need keeping busy.

also shout out to my ceiling raccoons, no one is doing it like them

I was a "gifted kid" in that I was presented as a tributary gift to the Tang emperor Xuanzhong in the year 732 AD by an enigmatic Western state which cannot be identified with any people in the historical record.

Oh, no, I was in a different kind of program for Gifted Children. Yeah, not the one for IQ, it was for morally gifted kids, preternatural wisdom etc. Yeah we don't have anxiety as adults, completely serene.

Today's prophetic utterance from toddler, immediately upon waking: "There's a big wave coming, Dada. A big, big wave."

The best thing about being a minor provincial bureaucrat is that the bulk of the greatest poetry in human history was written pretty much specifically for you.

The two-year-old added a new line to the Itsy Bitsy Spider: "and up came the Other-Sun, and dried up all the Sun".

I've seen things you people would believe. Room temperature glass of water on the kitchen counter. I watched birds forage in the park near the regular park gate.

my dream is to live in the era where you could write a book called *Mysterium Cosmographicum* and not be thought of as reddit

Birds - do not eat my baby! Birds - do not eat my baby! If my wife comes home, and the baby is et, There'll be a scene such as you'll never forget.

Did this again today.

Woke up to ancient beings at the foot of my bed again taking notes on my wriggling techniques

New nutritional guidelines are out. "1 Owl of Owlmeat per day". That's it.

The new TikTok fad among today's "Puriteens" is adopting the doctrines of total depravity and justification by faith alone, rejecting not Justice but rather the crude and limited vision of causality embedded in naive conceptions of Justice.

They can't dislodge the Fatberg from the sewers because every operative they send down there senses a deep peace when they approach it... an alien wisdom but not ancient, a modern cthonic. Leviathans in the earth.

Just did this. Well done for 2026.

Your Honour, I really would prefer that we stop referring to my client as "Reprehensible Jim". Yes I recognise it is his legal name your Honour.

This post isn't about politics fyi. It's about providing legal advice.

People keep asking me to defend my views. I don't have views. I'm a vessel for the spirit.

If polar conquests are up for grabs again, Australia needs to seize and occupy East Antarctica immediately. That's ours. We know what to do with it.

this is my friend Pete Moss

This is my buddy, Mike Continent.

Our deep-earth drilling technologies are almost to the point where we can reach the Ancient Source of Pain beneath the Earth's crust.

Pro- and anti- AI discourse generally lacks grounding in concrete proposed regulations and how they would work in practice. "All natural language interfacing with computers must require users to address the computer as 'Computer'", death penalty for directors of non-compliant corporations. There.

People talk about "laser-focussed". But I'm shooting my lasers all over the place.

I'd be pretty good at being one of the guys who Socrates makes look stupid. Just affably conclude "Huh, good point, guess I'm dumb!" and go about my life.

Setting my status on Microsoft Teams as "In Occultation".

𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑠— 𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐺𝑟𝑎𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐺𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘