siri, play a little marimba, improvise

Inessential oil. Don't need it

Dude, it gets you extra high because it contains hydropons

They ran out of heart shaped cards and now they only have gland shapes

Asking the receptionist to text me when they’re ready to start the interview since I’ll be in the parking lot doing some business gallops

They disqualified me from biathlon for merely riding a bike

baptizing the girl who works at Hot Topic in the mall fountain

I can’t help you inside the store, I put all my skill points into Loiter

For his total lack of respect and improper behavior towards his friends, they should have called him Patrick Wasteman #friendship #comportment #BretEastonEllisSponsoredContent

Warehouse district wizard BBQ restaurant Enchantmeat

When will BlueSky add Remote Viewing?!??

DaFructivorousGoblin liked your post: why dont they make the whole apple out of the core DaFructivorousGoblin sent you a message: you seem cool

Using the FedEx tracking page to delete my package

Sorry, 0 results were found for “airhorn doleful”

I’m rebranding lunch as Kitchen Festival

I had a groupon for any purchase of a fleet I could add a free flotilla

I am 100% this is the most horrible stuff, and yet....

once someone wins the superbowl we forget so easily about who was Christmas Champion

These dates are ENORMOUS

Mr. Little That Guy

At the pull-a-part haggling for the paint

I don’t care about these clusters, I care about the 200+ clusters in the source JSON that are unnamed and flagged “adult”

I’ve been doing ear candling just to make the house smell like fresh ears

People can't be trusted to consume media without all the performers coming out and bowing at the end

between the halftime shows and opening ceremonies, this is a tough week for people who are vulnerable to choreographed dance attacks

If you're monitoring volcanoes for activity, you can probably take a little break now

another kid on my son's Bantam F1 racing team died in a fiery wreck

Both teams are taking the field tonight in natural fibers, wool dusters, and sensible slides. #superbowl #fashion #santafeladies

Car & Driver's top trend: Cone shaped Car

“Been locked up in the county shale” by Tom Fossil and the Inclusions

It's not electrocuted, it's electrocured

At the bar ordering an ear of roasted sweet corn

If you rent a cybertruck in Miami you can summon a Cigar Elemental

We’re gonna go shout random numbers at the compounding pharmacy

Marketers have felt the pressure ever since the 2005 Super Bowl commercials were insufficient to stop Hunter S Thompson

I would have RESPECTFULLY delved into the earth

If they don’t have “Building a Cool Fort” it’s not a winter olympics

Overclocking my fridge so it imbues all food with HyperFrost

Virtua Fighter 5: CanCon had unlockable Feist

Settling down with my morning cup of warm wax

(Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 1 voice) Now if I read this novel And Vonnegut drew his aashole

Trencher’s Follies: softshoe act with a pickaxe

I’m delivering a scathing critique of the chasm I’m falling into

Backup your work to the cloud by pressing the Dave Button

8 weeks later

I'm on UberAnt ordering a ride from hither to thither

MyOrb by SphereCo

Never attempt to feed me a food that is “Boostin”