turkeys gobble wrong

last week i went to the vet and i peed

TV Guide (June 19, 1976)

hmmmm post pissed me off, logging out

Guy in charge of pictures for E! News got the call his wife was going into labor right after choosing one of two pics for this article

good morning #FuckSky

shrek populations on the brink of extinction due to human settlements encroaching on swamplands and severe droughts driven by climate change

haha haha jack my swag

In débutante school they taught me to "fart within myself"

First Disney character to fart *openly* other characters were probably farting but it had to be kept from the public due to the social mores of their day

loud noises scare the dickings out of me

disgusting the way milicent van gilt-mouse throws herself at mickey right in front of minnie

idea for horror story: what if one or more things you think are good ended up being bad really

you might assume the cryptkeeper was once a regular guy but no actually he has an origin story and he's always been this way. he was born to keep crypt

i love her so much. one of my favorite 'sounds made up but it's true' celebrity facts is that she's best friends with the singer pink somehow

girl, you must be George A. Romero the way you was an American-Canadian film director, screenwriter and editor, best known for his gruesome and satirical zombie films, including the seminal "Night of the Living Dead" (1968) and "Dawn of the Dead" (1978)

Take one look at that portly belly, and you'll understand the toll that the partying lifestyle has taken on Mario.

they don't make drugs anymore

Are you interested in supporting LGBTQ teenagers in Kentucky? Can you help our free nonprofit summer camp purchase supplies? www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Larry ellisons face is always such a jump scare. all the money in the world just to walk into the plastic surgeons office and say ☝️ I'll have the mickey rourke

I scroll my fingers down to nubs for you people

cows that go moo >>>>

my father or an uncle never teaching me about sport untethered me from society

(bart simpson voice) do not obtain a bovine sir

I've never been to the ocean

Hi I need help getting out of a bad situation. Anything helps. cash.app/$telephonesis

thank you for being online with me

hold up... if that's thomas chatterton williams then who the hell is this guy

they should have included that they were both hot in the original headline

I never thought I’d see the day when club chalamet called it quits on Timmy but here we are

I get so scared getting a call from a 502 number now

Bluesky should add a feature where you can manually set an affinity level for other users that they can see. I call it The Feelings Hurter.

bihhhh you got shit all the way goofy if you think i give a hyuck

Gary Busey enjoying some tiramisu, crayons and pen

hello to all who celebrate

Obviously the Marky Mark vs Paul W. Downs poll had to happen!

and she clearly does not want her photo taken, show some respect

"I shouldn't have died" "Didn't drink enough cola"

This is such a great Gene Siskel anecdote by John Waters 😂

Can we normalize eating beans?

jumping jacks with your friends 💖 🧑‍🩰🧑‍🩰🧑‍🩰

assgundam: sunset is very orange tonight ┃ ┗ BlueDeb76: Like the “President” ┃ ┗ HairEaterTim: I Eat Hair

You used to go to websites and they would have guestbooks that people would sign like it was a bed and breakfast

Sea Bass and Splendid Alfonsino https://collections.artsmia.org/art/61434/

tweet idea for body-positive gay guy with high self esteem: I would have to say my rectum is definitely like the backrooms of my butt/ass [and then a closeup picture of your asshole]