Big fan of the Cannes 2004 competition lineup. Really wacky collection of movies.

My sources are saying that Matt Farley and Charlie Roxburgh's Evil Spot was not ready in time for Cannes. Venice debut in the cards?

At age 37, I have started - in a chill, lowkey way - to think a little bit about my mortality. When I was younger, I used to think I would one day watch every single Joe D'Amato movie. I'm starting to realize that there aren't enough sunrises and sunsets left for me to do that.

Feel kinda bad I dragged my dad to see Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles when I was a kid. I could tell he thought it was real bad. Dad (RIP), wherever you are, I hope you hear this message.

Revised 1994 Best Actor Oscar lineup - Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber - Jeff Daniels, Dumb and Dumber - Johnny Depp, Ed Wood - Martin Short, Clifford

New must own book.

Happy to see @stephenbroomer.bsky.social's critical biography of the great Canadian experimental filmmaker Arthur Lipsett finally available at an affordable price: vinegarsyndrome.com/collections/...

I know I'm far from the first to post this, but: man, the burning gall of paying one's taxes today, after being openly told exactly what kind of sicko genocidal schemes they will be used to fund. Really? You want me to tally up what I owe you right now?

It would be nice to live in a world where "narrowly avoided nuclear war" wasn't the good news of the day.

It's kinda funny that movie critics have to review The Super Mario Galaxy Movie. Do architecture critics have to write about the ballpit at a McDonalds Playscape?

Is this the Toronto repertory cinema event of the decade??? bsky.app/profile/veil...

Odd moment in the new Super Mario Galaxy movie. Wasn't sure how to explain this to my kids.

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

Not surprising that Stephen Marche has used AI to write. He's a worthless writer who has never generated a single valuable insight. bsky.app/profile/theg...

As a lifelong admirer of Super Mario, I think it's bullshit that they gave him Chris Pratt's bland voice instead of just going with the ridiculous "Let's-a go!" voice we all know and love. Says a lot about our artistically timid age. Next they're gonna fix Daffy Duck's lisp.

The bourgeois critic class has united against The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

I went on @purecinemapod.bsky.social to talk about William Beaudine Month at the New Beverly. Really happy I could do this because I otherwise would have experienced unbearable FOMO seeing these William Beaudine festivities unfold on the other side of the continent. thenewbev.com/blog/2026/04...

Watched the sentimental Looney Tunes cartoon Feed the Kitty (1952), about a big burly dog's friendship with a small cute kitty, and almost cried. Is this what getting older is?

I dunno, I just feel that there's a real opportunity in 2028 for a halfway-charismatic presidential candidate who just flat-out says "Israel sucks ass, the whole damn apartheid state can blow me." Not just Zohran-style "Well, I think they should abide by international law..."

Sick and evil society.

If you're old enough to have passed through an art-house movie theatre or the foreign section of a video store in the early-to-mid 2000s, you'll know that this little fucker was everywhere.

I was reading an article in the new issue of Cineaste about filmmakers in Israel - how they're overwhelmingly left-wing, and how they fear that international boycotts will lead to their work being defunded and the Israeli right just being further emboldened. And the thing is, who gives a shit

Thoughts on revisiting Kiarostami's Taste of Cherry recently. willsloan.substack.com/p/taste-of-c...

Happy centennial to the God of Movie Analysis bsky.app/profile/100y...

I am always hooting and hollering whenever Philip Van Zandt (one of the silhouettes in the projection-booth scene from Citizen Kane, and the villain in several hundred Three Stooges shorts) shows up in a minor role.

Re-reading my battered copy of Bill Landis and Michelle Clifford's "Sleazoid Express" for the thousandth time and feeling energized by all the worlds of cinema yet to conquer.

On SNL UK they should have a character called Guvn'r Bill. And instead of "Oh noooo!" he should say "Cor blimey!"

This is what the weekly box office Top 10 list looks like in a healthier society

I wrote some brief words on Allegro non troppo (1976), an Italian piss-take on Fantasia, for the Metrograph Journal. metrograph.com/allegro-non-...

Everybody's asking

You look up "cinema" in the dictionary and you'll find this photo

Ebert offhandedly dropping "the last time I had lunch with Teri Garr..." like it's no big deal. This is why, whatever you think of his writing, he is the king.

Every time I pick up an old Cinema Scope I honestly can't believe how dense it is with great writers and writing. We didn't know how good we had it.

Who's still alive who fought Bruce Lee in a movie? There's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Hwang In-shik, Sammo Hung... who am I missing? (Not sure Jackie Chan, pictured here, really counts)

Just got my copy of Error444 CHALLENGE OF THE LADY NINJA! Honestly, could not imagine a better package. Make sure to check out the commentary track I did with @dylancheung.bsky.social.

About the Author Shemp is a dog whose image has appeared on Instagram, X, and Bluesky. He lives and works in Toronto, Canada.

dang, the final lost MST3K episode was JUST found at a garage sale, and now it's on YouTube for all to enjoy. watch and be astounded that a 38-year-old VHS recording held up so nicely: youtu.be/u_Z4hnagGLE?...

Chuck Norris's complete lack of expression is used brilliantly in Guy Maddin's THE GREEN FOG to denote a man in a catatonic trance. Norris's greatest performance and he doesn't even know he's in the film! youtu.be/YnAKGXqIWKA?...

In many ways, Chuck Norris was the American Brigitte Bardot: though his legacy was tainted by his far-right political views, you can't deny he was a hot fuckin piece of ass

Some extended thoughts on Brett Ratner's Melania (2026) willsloan.substack.com/p/melania-ra...

RIP Chuck Norris. His fight scene with Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon is one of the heights of cinema, proving that a martial-arts action duel can tell a story and communicate ideas. Fortunately Norris went out on top, retiring after it was shot, never heard from again.

Best movie of 1986? That's a tough one. Obviously there's Blue Velvet, The Fly, Something Wild, Hannah and Her Sisters, The Color of Money. Can't forget Ninja Terminator. Or Kamikaze Hearts. Richard Kern's Fingered. Jean-Luc Godard's Meetin' WA. George Kuchar's Weather Diary 1...

Thoughts on Jean-Luc Godard's film criticism willsloan.substack.com/p/against-ri...

Joe Don Baker’s headstone is so badass

My birthday is just 10 1/2 months away if anyone has $249,999.99 they don't know what to do with... www.ebay.com/itm/26756933...

Coming soon... (cover art by Justin Gibson)

Today is the 100th birthday of the King of Comedy