Opening the stock market by ringing a bell and going “WEEEE!” is peak alpha mindset.

"Europe is going to Hell. In Croatia, the great SpongeBob SquarePants is known as 'Spuva Bob Skockani.' In Italy they call Goofy 'Pippo.' Disgusting."

It’s sad to think that the man who said this is a bad guy.

When Ezra Klein says that Charlie Kirk was "doing politics the right way," he appears to mean only that Kirk advanced his political agenda using words rather than violence. But by that standard, David Duke was also “practicing politics the right way. www.currentaffairs.org/news/as-the-...

It would be neat to have RFK Jr speak at my funeral in his funny monster voice.

Yesterday I said “ok next stop sending them arms” and some centrists told me I’d never be satisfied. Cooked m8.

Get in losers, we’re grieving

Today in "Who is Ezra Klein willing to sell out?"

Fellow men: what’s stopping you from looking like this?

Watching Adolescence, and I can't stop thinking about the chilling scene in ep.3 where the kid throws the child psychologist's hot chocolate on the floor. She paid good money for that hot chocolate and now it is wasted. Fathers, talk to your sons.

My cat and I talk about not eating off my dinner plate when I turn my back for five fucking seconds.

Chat I think the vinyl revival is in its death rattle stage of completion

Exasperated comedian pushes back at targeted ads. #standup #standupcomedy #comedy #jokes #modernhumour #sillystuff

1968 rocksteady tune "Feel Like Jumping" by reggae songstress Marcia Griffiths. Produced by Coxsone Dodd. From the V/A compilation Studio One Rockers. #Rocksteady m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur5y...

I’m nervous my widow won’t post something crazy when I die.

Donald Trump grieving Charlie Kirk.

I'd never turn my son in for breaking the law. But he'd definitely be grounded!

Ezra Klein was like “that’s my Bat Signal”

Debate someone you love today.

i think it’s cool when someone who wants me dead dies 👍 sorry bitch

This week’s SNL is gonna be great!!!

Trump NEEDS to invade Utah.

"fuck off you cunt"

VANCOUVER! I'll be at the Little Mountain Gallery on October 15 for my large west coast debut. I'm excited to go nuts on stage near the Pacific Ocean. With special guest Amar Singh! Tickets: tinyurl.com/3k2f69m8 #standup #vancouvercomedy #vancouvercomedyshows #vancouverstandup #sillystuff

Remembering Sylvester on his birthday

Teardrop Explodes live at the Theatre Royal, Nottingham in 1981 - complete concert including Books, Passionate Friend, Ha Ha I’m Drowning, Like Leila Khaled Said, Poppies in the Field, Suffocate, and Treason youtu.be/Q8d6i3sHx_E

Graham Linehan gets refused entry back in to the US where he now lives so he just has to live in the airport like Tom Hanks in that movie except instead of making friends and getting off with Catherine Zeta Jones he just gets arrested several times a day.

BREAKING: Graham Linehan's application to perform at the Riyadh Comedy Festival has been rejected. According to Mohammed bin Salman, Linehan is "too toxic."

Odd stuff from PM Carney!

#MotherNatureSong #FallFriday 5. The Fall - Fantastic Life "He said he told the policeman what he really thought But knowing him I don't believe that crap"

standing with glinner? no. i'm SITTING for DINNER. with my wife, who has not left me,

When I was announced as the lead in a Doctor Who spinoff in 2023 Graham Linehan tweeted about me for TWO DAYS, tagging the BBC and others to say that I am pro-child abuse and they shouldn't work with me.

It’s official: Toronto has MJ The Musical fever!

Me, getting my daily infusion of piss.

When you tweet with Glinner energy....

Just ran into Roger Daltrey at Swiss Chalet. I said, "Roger! I knew you could rock, but I didn't know you loved chicken!" He just chuckled, banged his fist on the table and yelled "I love it!" Fun guy.

This seems fishy as hell. Melvyn would never do this voluntarily. Right, @johnsemley3000.bsky.social? www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...

Just ran into Roger Daltrey in front of the CN Tower. He pointed to it and said “Crikey, that’s a big microphone!” I said, “Roger! That’s no mic. It’s a landmark.” He just scowled and shook his head. Funny fellow!

Sad

In less than one hour Donald J Trump El President of the good ol' US of States will announce that he has an exploded ruined anus and nasty nasty balls.

Just ran into Pete Townshend at Shoppers Drug Mart. I said, "Pete! I'm surprised to see a mod rocker like you here." He just laughed, smashed his guitar and said "I'm addicted to earning Optimum Points." Nice guy!

Free speech activist Mr Feast celebrates Great British flags:

Just ran into Roger Daltrey in line at Tim Hortons. I said, "Roger! What's a rock legend like you doing here? Shouldn't you be practicing Won't Get Fooled Again?" He just grinned, swung his microphone around and said "Roger. Needy. Coffee."

This is about him pooping himself to death and I can't wait to understand!

HEY, VANCOUVER, LISTEN UP! You cannot see me in Vancouver. But you CAN see a MALE comedian (so: better) talk ABOUT me! On October 15th. Which of his two pairs of jeans will @mbalazo.bsky.social wear?! Find out by buying a ticket! www.showpass.com/michael-bala...

Maybe the reason Trump said Americans would only have to vote for him once was coz he knew he'd soon be dead.

“We’re gonna die so much, you may even get tired of dying. And you’ll say, ‘Please, please. It’s too much dying. We can’t take it anymore, Mr. President, it’s too much.’ And I’ll say, ‘No it isn’t. We have to keep dying. We have to die more!’”

On Monday Donald Trump is going to emerge with an huge BBL

Happy 40th birthday to the glorious Primitive Painters by Felt featuring Elizabeth Fraser, which was released on this day in 1985. Here's the original video from back then (THREAD) youtu.be/Rp8AvC_ESdM

ATTENTION: VANCOUVER Following my triumphant run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, I am coming to the Little Mountain Gallery on October 15. This will be my first time in VAN, and I am excited to go nuts on stage, west-coast style. Poster: @mrnastynodrama.bsky.social Tickets: tinyurl.com/3k2f69m8