This ibis has been walking around trying to eat this piece of crusty bread for like an hour

Here's an easter egg in the new Lego Batman that I think all of you will REALLY appreciate. It's so good, I had to make a video.

we are the daughters of the hoes you couldn't scare

posting yourself rabid and frying your brain with outrage does not make you a martyr btw. it makes you someone who was driven Mad by the Post. which is an embarrassing fate, actually

ok jesus i think I'd remember being carried around a beach but whatever

you are the boat🛥️ (best of all time)

one day, posting like an idiot until you're actually stupid is gonna be considered a cool and badass retro way to self harm. like smoking is today

why is it called a stick UP when you're now yelling at us to get DOWN on the ground?? robber: wow it's almost as if the name given to the activity is wholly unrelated to the command given therein??? i cant use any other words describing a direction other than up?? i hate robbing this always happens

people use to more freely declare things (like sudden odd shifts in behavior or demeanor or whatever) to be a "cry for help" i think we still recognize those to a degree, but have accepted that no help is coming for the crier or anyone else, and so have simply grown annoyed at the cries

you really think replacing the word quirky with whimsical will absolve you if your sins

i am going to play devil's advocate here for a second and say that the devil is awesome and i love the devil and the devil will win

The alien in my tub is breathtaking

im announcing every video game you've ever dreamed of

neighbors blasting a sort of edm remix of happy birthday. at least i dont have to be confused about the reason for the commotion

english isn't for cowards. if you're not saying 'torpify,' that's a skill issue. there's no Académie Française telling you what to do. if you try to type 'pallific' and freak out when you see a little red underline, maybe you're not ready to roll with the big dogs.

Meet Enoki!

Oh. Hello.;annoyed, doesn't really want to talk

Unfortunately, it will happen again :/

a cool droning sci fi sound is coming from yhe neighbor apartment. must have activated The Annoying Device

Doug Beekman

you can't step in the same river twice, but you can step in a better one. and, likewise, you cant go back home, but maybe home sucked and the place that it is now could be pretty good.

good night everyone. let's everyone go to sleep like me

all of my mutuals should credit me as an executive producer on all their posts

wer ameist muss auch b meist

when i rt a german post that you don't understand and its sich a garbled up shitpost that translate can't make heads or tails of it either you should just hit like bc you trust me that its a white knuckle heater. ok?

ive said this before but i can already sorta feel this place coming to an end in some huge kerfuffle soon-ish and its making me a bit sad tbh. i def dont have another social media account in me. c'est la vie

@glitchygore.bsky.social you are fr my strongest soldier

caring about things has brought me nothing but grief

oh, sour winter child

necromunda wasteland nomad leader i painted today to basic tabletop ready standard. gonna try to finish the whole gang this weekend, got a good strat down #necromunda #minipainting #warhammer40k

Screaming and crying in the gas station bathroom standing in the toilet frantically trying to get it to flush

pittsburgh is short for pizza burger

hey man *excruciates you*

one day they will craft the perfect emoji

my entire schedule is completely fucked up bc youtube recommends videos that say "do this every day" in the thumbnail to me every day. busy busy busy

doodled this little horned character as im sitting at home instead of at work bc i am sick wit da illness. fuck all germs

judge: how do you plead defendant: not guilty, your honor judge: 🤨 why you getting defensive now, hm?? not a good look

i would never consider a game to have a healthy mod community if it doesn't have an expansive and comprehensive Stargate mod project

Moe from the Simpsons is called a "bartender" because he wants to end Bart. because of his many malicious prank calls

wrong 👇

cargs are a fine pant, i feel sorry for ppl who think otherwise 🤙

if i didn't know any better I'd know a lot worse

tatooine got massively gentrified. yeah, dudes dont get their arms chopped off in mos eisley anymore but now you gotta install an app on your astromech just to order and its like 25 credits for a glass of blue milk

Your own bathroom is kind of like the situation room if you think about it

I made a Mortal Kombat pattern of Sub-Zero, Scorpion, and Reptile performing Fatalities on each other.

im experiencing the mandalore effect bc i coulda sworn grogu used to be called baby yoda

30 of you little freakazoids following me at once does not impress me if not one of you hits like on even a single post. in fact i should probably assume its some sort of bot wave and block the whole lot

i got a massive fever. if i don't make it past the weekend im gonna kill god for y'all. trust