They’re calling it one of the sloppiest toenail painting jobs I’ve ever done & that is really saying something

I’m so brave when I leave a selfie up overnight & presumably allow 30 members of my extended family to find me, make alts & follow me

Yesterday morning people were having fires in their fireplaces but now summer is back forever

No one’s seen him since he asked ChatBBL to twerk on it…

I read left behind as a teen everyone get behind me

Gorilla glue mindset

Alright I think we are putting a “fuck this guy” bow on him & moving on

Just remember we are behind you 45%. Anything you need, it’s possible we will be there to help

Peeling & eating an avocado in bed

Hair shouldn’t just stand on end it should shoot out of the follicles

accidentally setting my alarm for 8 pm instead of am then sitting in my car all night until it's time to leave for work to save face

Sleep is thrilling

Got in stop & go traffic wearing wet socks. You never know what someone else is going through on the road

There was sun

Sorry I lost your dog, he hit a speed boost arrow & that’s the last I saw him

Too cute by 800

Posting sucks ~

What if the Madonna song said Brain feel it on my penis tip? Think of that

Dreamed I went to a Bluesky persons house & it was a glass mansion on the ocean

=]

Don’t expect to see me after Tuesday I will be run over by the unmanned suv of a raptured family

The trick to laundry is never stop. Don’t lose your momentum

Proud of my whistling today

Putting hair behind ear is a cool glass of water

when I have a post that doesn't quite land it's usually bc i'm on a dirtbike doing stunts so I'm a little distracted

Twig or tweak. Give me a stick or I will freak out

Caught an candy on a stick

Sorry sorry just for the sake of honesty I just realized the thing I acted surprised about a minute ago, I actually knew about that already. It actually killed my grandpa & I self published a book on it, sorry just remembering

Is guy standing up Norman Rockwell a popular Halloween costume. You could get a new jacket

Can I touch your arm really quick? I feel like I will dissolve it . I think I will act like an acid on you

Yeah you almost hit me but my honk was more to break the tension with myself in my car. I made my car beep lol

I love when I see my shadow & I have one piece of hair sticking up in the shape of a question mark. Wow it’s the riddler

Almost time to unseal my mitten closet

Charring up some cereal

Sometimes one of you will post something badass that’s like, “I strode through the Desert of Indifference for 20,000 paces, and all I found was my own tomb and a sign that said look out,” and then I realize you are talking about a game

they're going to keep moving closer to their webcams until something is done

Local sheep admiring the scenery.

I love that plant. I have some of it stuck to me right now

My job is tug

Oops I fell behind the bed, go on without me

Diminishing returns shouldn’t happen to me

lucerne milk and organic valley milk and yogurt and oatly oat milk. and chobani yogurt and la fermiere yogurt. and almosd milk as well as coconut milk.

Hall & Oates voice my this is on my this

timeline cleanse: franky watches the garbage truck pick up the trash this morning

Whispering “dril took his talents to threads” in a dog’s ear

Hold on I’m making breakfast. Taking this nut bar apart & sticking it back together with marshmallows

What did the person say after peeing their pants. They said “my blad” Thanks

They call it a closet because you put your clos in et

Look for the man in the rizzy chinos