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Ok beat A5 with all the characters on sts2 yayyyy

Chat is it unc to recommend specific brands of laxatives

How I know I’m poasting good

It’s always what that pussy do never how that pussy do

Jumping up to reach the toilet paper on the shelf at the bodega for a nice lady who can’t reach it? That’s climbus baby

I’m the greatest mohel of all times call that hubris

Cookies are the flatbread of the cake world

coming this april:

Weird millennial cringe Emilia Perez voice : shenis to vahooha

Going to cleatsky dot app to see who’s been slide tackling me from behind blocks

Woke up from a dream (Nightmare?) this morning. The toy that was all the rage with the kids was “my little Tony” dolls. I had to exorcise this thought, I'm so sorry.

in the timeline where the monkeys won they call the nasa rocket launch area ape canaveral

bottom bro-wth

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MOVIE PITCH: one New York Jew’s quest to find matzo not imported from Israel

It’s that time of year again!

As a life long New Yorker lemme say a couple things: transplants are annoying sometimes but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be here or that they don’t make the city better. Everything is changing and you can never go back in time

before and after being pspsps'd at

Pro tip don’t get hit by a fucking train

2 weeks

My dick can speak to ghosts

Bart Simpson bovine antinatalist

Me and the boys rolling up to the bar with all the same fake id

Need to get therianism in the DSM so that I can get insurance to cover fangs and spend HSA money on ears

We were on line for the @nicklutsko.bsky.social show when a guy on a citi bike whizzed by and shouted “what is this line for, the gay gothic faggot party?” I don’t think he was sincerely curious though

Guy who thinks tedx is slash fic about president roosevelt

The subtitles don’t match up with the audio on my show grrrrr

Person the day after Passover ends: "It's about chometz baby love chometz"

Vi poast: calling mitski fans “Mits” like we call Trotsky fans “trots”

*cough* onlyfans.com/witha_y tips and monthly payouts last month are what literally kept my head above water love y'all

Estrogen injectstrogened

rent is due in 3 days and we still need $1093 to cover it. then $800 for tires to make our car safe to drive. really hoping it doesn't come down to living in the car with two people and two cats $907/$2800 venmo: gayley_williams cashapp: gayleywilliams paypal.me/chemrain 💸💕 mutual aid

Bdsm on Passover call that the bred of affliction

NOW IN EFFECT Local Law 420 This law prohibits pedestrians from stopping in the middle of the street and turning around because they realized they were going in the wrong direction. Pedestrians will be penalized with a hefty fine & a formal letter of disappointment from the New York City Council.

NOW IN EFFECT Local Law 69 This law divides pedestrian sidewalks into two "lanes"— one for pedestrians who walk more than 4MPH, and one for those who walk at a slower pace. Pedestrians in the slower lane will be subject to congestion pricing and tolls.

Stealing an officers gun as an April fools joke but when I snoot it a little flat that says bang pops out instead of a bullet

Your favorite format's least favorite format has its inaugural event today! Welcome to NYC Block Constructed! 🗽 1st place gets a $100 gift card to Slice 2nd place gets a box set of Seinfeld 3rd-4th places get a $35 Omny Card Only cards with unambiguous NYC art are legal!

15 (not an April fool)

April bapril

Theypril fools

What about the other months’s fools

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Ue... can’t believe I’m seeing big Nick @nicklutsko.bsky.social perform on this most important holiday

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Woof bark haha April fools I’m still a cat don’t worry

Who up inducing current by changing magnetic flux

April fools? You mean April regular?

haha yeah dude i get a ton of pussy i produce music in babelton