Hello I am still in need of finishing this goal. I have to go through an appeal process for my benefits and will be in dire straits once they run out. I need to secure these funds so I can focus on finishing up my job training program and applying for the job opportunities it will provide.

my boyfriend gets to call me princess babygirl and all sorts of cute nicknames but if i call him daddy im a dirty sex freak? like you dont know this asian man younger than me could still be my dad we had a black president for gosh sake

When did we as a country stop saying "daddy-o" when did we start to deprive daddies of their ohs? We used to be a real country :/

I had a nightmare an earthquake shook all my stuffed animals off my shelf then walter white came in my room and yelled at me for not evacuating the building while i was huddled over them crying and then he deadnamed me first thing I did when I woke up was cross breaking bad off my must watch list

music used to be so much more central to american household you used to be able to drink out of jug with XXX on it and it would turn your teeth into the keyboard of a piano.. . when did the music die

If I was an android I'd be dreaming about electric feet you know what I'm saying? I'd be a freaky android is what I'm saying

Have you seen this dog? My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and he loves this stuffed dog, Spot. He has had Spot since he can remember. Officially Spot is known as Sniffy. I can't afford to get my boyfriend much for his birthday, so I'm hoping to collect memories other's have had with Spot/Sniffy.

It's been so long since I've been able to say this

everybody acts like they've never exceeded their rate limits

Have you seen this dog? My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and he loves this stuffed dog, Spot. He has had Spot since he can remember. Officially Spot is known as Sniffy. I can't afford to get my boyfriend much for his birthday, so I'm hoping to collect memories other's have had with Spot/Sniffy.

Hello I am still in need of finishing this goal. I have to go through an appeal process for my benefits and will be in dire straits once they run out. I need to secure these funds so I can focus on finishing up my job training program and applying for the job opportunities it will provide.

Imagine all the sad sick thirsty children, women and weak men there would be if the world lost Dr. Pepper

everyone drink dr pepper and jump at 11:30 fb event

You know that song by charlie xcx and billie ellish called guess? Well me and weird al are doing a parody of it about Dr Pepper. It's called Dr. Pepper it will be out at the end of the year on beeswax cylinder only

i think i want a soda of some kind this morning

the world could be a gentler kinder place if we all drank a dr pepper at once it would be epic

There should be a vending machine that forces you to have an orgasm but you get a dr pepper as a reward and it pats your head and tells you to enjoy all 23 flavors

No one is ever DP'ing me which is when you give me Dr Pepper while sharing my holes with who I hope is your dear friend if it's a total stranger then what better way could there be to make a new friend then sharing a refreshing Dr Pepper and my hole

Imagine all the sad sick thirsty children, women and weak men there would be if the world lost Dr. Pepper

Humans love complaining about going to work but you know who doesn't? Birds. They wake up everyday go tweet tweet and fly and you don't see them complaining and you know why? Because birds are sheep. That's right I said it. Birds are sheep.

Thank you clifton strengths for telling me I am responsible this is worth well over $100

how your email finds me

tonight i think i shall get head while listening to select works by an artist who I consider to be the american Mozart of course im talking about David Allen Coe

Being a beautiful transgender woman is so hard the only way I can find love is by listening for pieces of the fallout new vegas soundtrack scattered around a map and hope to pick up a trail

a pervert has written all comic books and all comic book related material including archie

to know "Emergency" cum is to be loved

to know "Emergency" cum is to be loved

i don't know if anyone has thought of this but i think a really woke conspiracy theory would be that they are putting something in the frogs that's making the water gay but like we are mad not about it

been there brother

lee you crazy bastard

one day they will build a monument of us if for whatever reason i don't live to see the day make my tits a little bigger than they actually are you have my blessing *cough cough* (sees blood in handkerchief) alright over the trenches and remember just in case of the worst big naturals

i don't know if anyone has thought of this but i think a really woke conspiracy theory would be that they are putting something in the frogs that's making the water gay but like we are mad not about it

if i was president i actually would install a big lever in the white house to make everything cheaper for everyone it would just kill a lot of ceos in a rube goldberg machine eventually the CEOs would banish me to Elba but Id be back with the help of my friends: The Dolphins then they'd be sorry

[me]: um i've never role played sisters before but i'll try *later* [me]: Marge me and Selma are worried about Homer's drinking and how he treats you and the kids we are sorry how we minimized your experience with jokes and how we treated you. we are here for you now. please leave homer.

First you get the pronouns, then you get the blue hair then you get the bussy

I like literally would not kill a fly I would run away in horror like freaking out needing someone to check if it's on me I could not stand to get close enough to kill one… but that being said I have ordered hits on them and does that really make me a bad person? Show me where that is illegal.

Faking an orgasm to get out jury duty

personally i don't think polyamory should ever be an appropriate thing to discuss in a professional setting for multiple reasons but the main one being lying is fun

Good Sinéad’s birthday morning lesbians 🥰

I can't get bottom surgery because I am the secret ingredient to Dippin' Dots ™

Butches that are nice to you and do a little extra for you >

dating someone not on the spectrum is crazy like what do you mean you don't see, hear, feel, smell, or taste that???

imagine being a so-called hot dog expert and not even being familiar with my throat

if i was a billionaire i would send my therapist to juilliard so i could say "Oh Dr. J play me a tune" then my therapist would start playing the piano i'd hop up to lay on top of it and say "when i was a little girl…"

if i was a billionaire i would hire a team of 6 musicians to follow me around for musical accompaniment in therapy i'd be like "get ready for me joe" and then i would say "Im worried I don't know how to be happy" and Id point at joe and he'd hit us with that trombone "womp womp womp womppppp"

imagine being a so-called hot dog expert and not even being familiar with my throat

two other white ladies telling me target is hard to boycott like damn ladies you got candle money just burning a hole in your pocket don't you?

Puppies, kitties, mice, and bunnies these 4 things you must never let into my tea kettle museum lest we become like that joke of museum: the clothes line experience