not to be all debbie downer but I think I hate pride parades. It feels very feudal, watching a bunch of businesses shower the queer community with "support" and people shout and cheer at the floats in support while queer people struggle with homelessness on the next street over.

happy Britain and the IRA figured out the troubles before I was born because right now my ass keeps getting fatter and my hips keep getting sluttier and it's causing troubles which i'm reclaiming for perfect women everywhere

I would literally do anything *I slowly push one of my dress's strap's off my shoulder I begin to whisper* and I mean anything *bites lip* to play city skylines *I move my hips in a way that allows the other strap to fall my dress slides down revealing my osha compliant safety vest*

bro if you put a pussy in front of me and cock in front of me and told me to just pick one to suck i'd just kill myself to honor my bisexual identity

i am working on the rosetta stone of white people food

the sopranos is a show about how americans suck and are evil

i'm reading the joys of jello from 1975 rn and let me just start of saying that if im a feminist i love woman i myself am a woman but if i served in the pacific theater in ww2 and had to have a job after that shit and i came home to my wife making jello barbecue cubes id hit her or at least yell

if white people have no culture than explain this?

i am working on the rosetta stone of white people food

tag yourself

Okay just going to set my cock on the windowsill to let it cool off a bit I sure hope no one starts to hover off the ground and float towards it with intent to suck

would anyone like a jello recipe or perhaps a tip about buying canned food

bro if you put a pussy in front of me and cock in front of me and told me to just pick one to suck i'd just kill myself to honor my bisexual identity

i don't know if i updated anyone but it turns out i love eating pussy just as much as I love sucking dick and the reviews are like identically god blessed me with a magic mouth but didn't give me the vocabulary to go with it so i use it to heal others

Sometimes I stupidly think that I can't imagine being a full lesbian because I'm like what man would i center my life around as if Richard Nixon hasn't been my rock since middle school thank you dick

yeah i like lesbian sex if by lesbian sex you mean being a girl obsessed with richard nixon but in the correct way like how people respect the destructive forces of nature and also i love kissing girls well im shy around girls but im thinking about it oh you know i am like what if our boobs touched

bro if nixon actually said all that stuff they wouldn't have casted him in futurama is all i'm saying

i refuse believe that Richard Nixon of COD Zombies fame is that awful man on those tape

[Me crashing out acting by acting slutty in front of 100 reporters following my loss in the 1962 California gubernatorial election to Democratic incumbent Pat Brown]: "you don't have me to kick around any more, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference haha unless you know I have a room"

T4T in my bio but its tweaker for tweaker

Force femming a car by never filling it up again and only running it on e

No one ever talks about how Israel is the Scientology of countries

sometimes i just want someone to grab my hips so hard they bruise me and my neck so tightly my eyes water and that's okay that's alright that's the human experience the porcupine's dilemma or whatever idk im so fucking horny and the world so fucked and my life is so fucked please fuck me

i love being a beautiful woman it makes everything so much more tragic and therefore even more beautiful

real cinema stopped existing the moment we started focusing on strong independent women and stopped focusing on fast dames, and floozies too smart for their own good

i love being a beautiful woman it makes everything so much more tragic and therefore even more beautiful

*AIR QUALITY ALERT* -WHERE: ENTIRE CONTINENTAL USA -WHEN: UNTIL IT KILLS YOU

No one ever talks about how Israel is the Scientology of countries

I love how since 2020 minneapolis has felt like living in an old testament bible village like surely we have angered god

Hell yeah there's a raccoon with short spine syndrome running around Seattle makign everyone believe in cryptids, i love him so much

bro being put on zoloft in March of 2011 by my parents who didnt believe in depression rocked because all I can remember is some sort of Lynchian nightmare for a year and wanting to die everyday but it made waiting for skyrim feel like nothing i just blinked in march and boom christmas for mama

[Nixon walking into the press by accident while wearing a bib with a picture of what looks like ET on it]: "It's just a little stain on my lunch bib but let's say theoretically if I had to guess I would say the same texture as chicken but the same taste as a californian raisin no more questions."

remember in july 2011 when your mom would just tell you she thought you were fat and annoying and you'd go cry to your dad who would be like cross faded in the yard and only willing to talk about steely dan or how 9/11 ruined his life but at least you could escape to the warm embrace of LA Noire

bro if you're over 18 and you think you would just keep ET in your closet you're just delusion id kill that freak i'd stand my ground because i'm not a kid i'm a very scared adult who knows what happens to lonely lesbians after aliens invade because I watched pluribus at a bad time in my life

bro if i said "Clean air, clean water, open spaces - these should once again be the birthright of every American." in my 1970 state of union address as girl nixon and i was alive today i would be like "did i do that" in order to get to the youth vote or whatever im a queen goddess of environment

Okay well the air quality is maxed out i shared some juicy ET jokes and a personal anecdote i think i may just try to sleep now that my eyes are stinging and i can't handle the smell happy 21st century everyone I really think we have a chance at having an american century

Girl you know I'm right Henry Kissenger would have loved ET I just can't figure in what ways… I'm picturing him in a hazmat suit maybe with a scoop waiting for ET to melt or whatever was wrong with him probably too much pepsi

[Nixon walking into the press by accident while wearing a bib with a picture of what looks like ET on it]: "It's just a little stain on my lunch bib but let's say theoretically if I had to guess I would say the same texture as chicken but the same taste as a californian raisin no more questions."

bro if you're over 18 and you think you would just keep ET in your closet you're just delusion id kill that freak i'd stand my ground because i'm not a kid i'm a very scared adult who knows what happens to lonely lesbians after aliens invade because I watched pluribus at a bad time in my life

sometimes i forget i grew up a cornfield and in that cornfield i buried the body of ET after I- I mean he ignored the first 3 rules of gun safety

bro being put on zoloft in March of 2011 by my parents who didnt believe in depression rocked because all I can remember is some sort of Lynchian nightmare for a year and wanting to die everyday but it made waiting for skyrim feel like nothing i just blinked in march and boom christmas for mama

I imagine going back to see me in 2011 would be like time traveling with a horse to the future on the day it breaks it's ankle that horse would have a lot to think about

bro if you didn't want to kill yourself in 7th grade you owe me one thousand dollars or an outing with your parents so i can experience parental love

Yes 2011 was hard on me as a 13 year old but I had LA Noire and John Cusack promised me that I would die in Mother Gaia's rebirth in 2012 but john cusack lied to me so I had to go to 7th grade where apparently everyone learned how to tell who was gay over last summer except me?

remember in july 2011 when your mom would just tell you she thought you were fat and annoying and you'd go cry to your dad who would be like cross faded in the yard and only willing to talk about steely dan or how 9/11 ruined his life but at least you could escape to the warm embrace of LA Noire

2009 and was the best time to be alive because Entertainment tonight would show children all across america the gaudy mcmansions of the losers who lost their homes in beverly hills providing the perfect opportunity for your parents to refinance their house and set the stage for divorce bless you ET

i just know today's children of divorce have it so fucking easy not like us zoomers do you know how hard it was two alcoholic parents who wanted to finish mad men with you and you just wanted to watch it alone because Jon Hamm at the time made you feel really confused about so many things like love

bro if they had flock cameras back in the 20s and 30s prohibition would have worked but i can't imagine how miserable my parents would have been during the second bush administration without their good friend captain coke, Captain coke is why i get 2 christmas' i feel guilty about not going to

Im raking my muck until the quality of my meat improves

bro thank god we don't have leaded gas anymore i'm so grateful we kept the good clean gas and added in the batteries made of stuff we have to poison the earth for and then can never rid ourself of :) i love sludge :) sludge for ocean 2032