Lowkey I'm like a homewrecker but like the opposite a homebringertogetherer if you will

i don't think i can do milf stolen valor for many reasons: 1) Mom beef; me and my mom got beef i gotta be my own mom 2) My sweet maternal attitude that allows me to care for people with ease 3) as far as waifs go i'm pretty MILFy 4) all those nuts busted in me gotta count for something

just got accused of MILF stolen valor because i'm wearing a sweat shirt that says "Swim Mom" on it and it's like dog you don't know me you don't know my life story maybe i am just a super successful deadbeat mom who doesn't need to make her whole personality and that's why you don't know i'm a mom

I can't wait to complete my top ten epic gamer moments but they are all just me kissing people who i think are awesomesauce

I found out that I can live in denial despite never expressing an interest in living in denial or ever actively living in denial if you think i may be living in denial feel free to talk to me about it because i will be more than willing to correct you as I don't live in denial and never will

Umm today my therapist told me I was in denial today and after therapy she was immediately proven right and honestly egg on my face but like how i was i supposed to know that

I can't wait to complete my top ten epic gamer moments but they are all just me kissing people who i think are awesomesauce

*me breaking up a big nug to get a stem out*: The body of christ, given to me *me putting clean water into the bong*: Toke and smoke the blood of christ faded for me

gender in video games is very stupid stupid every game should just be about a ball and two paddles trying to make sense of the grief they feel living in a world that no longer wants them and a society that couldn't care they exist and there is jazz music or some stupid shit it should cost $200

my special interest is me

27 year old girl in 2109 at an antique store: look at this old phone a dead lady owned it has a bunch of like pictures of actual living birds in the wild and also really weird smut on here there's also a screenshot of text that describes this exact situation happening and the secret of nixon's gold

Ephemera is so so so cool like you're telling me I am holding in my hands what a soldier in World War 2 would have read to know his rights in case of capture like that's so cool its why everything being digital makes me so sad i want my random shit to be bought by a girl like me in 80 years

I need cis women to decide between the terfs and the women who want to stick their tongues down my throat to decide who gets to keep camo shorts because I can't keep doing this

Ephemera is so so so cool like you're telling me I am holding in my hands what a soldier in World War 2 would have read to know his rights in case of capture like that's so cool its why everything being digital makes me so sad i want my random shit to be bought by a girl like me in 80 years

Sometimes I sit with all of my plushies in my bed and I feel so evil and greedy send me to frickin hell for my sin of gluttony having too many little guys is how the demons creep in I am a sinner and all I want is things to be soft soft soft and huggable your god wants me dead for this and i agree

i don't like this guy one bit he's untrustworthy looking

um actually you're supposed to not eat until suddenly you get really tired sad and panicky then in your confused weak emotional state you are supposed to choose something to eat but it's very important that all of those things either be not in your home or are too complicated for your weakened self

why is eating so difficult perhaps my gruel pipeline and household gruel plumbing isn't quite so ridiculous hm wouldn't you agree?

erm i actually need a hug but im being very brave about it

i don't like this guy one bit he's untrustworthy looking

I'm like if a ship lost at sea was a girl

showing someone their first owl feels sooo good like i want to put a cigarette out on myself after fuckk

some of yall

*taking a fat bong rip* i really really really like owls

I went to see a snowy owl today and gosh darn it if me and at least 2 dozen others didn't accomplished our mission by scrambling around the airport following this beauty

I went to see a snowy owl today and gosh darn it if me and at least 2 dozen others didn't accomplished our mission by scrambling around the airport following this beauty

She cuban on my missile till I crisis

why am i addicted to stress why can't i be addicted to something fun like eating fruits and vegetables regularly

the worst part of being far sighted is not being able to clearly see who you are kissing like get the fuck out of my face and return immediately mwah

the autistic urge to create the sensation of a hug using all available resources except other humans

Sometimes your cis lady friend who is crazy does something that is crazy and it's important you judge as much as possible and be so like yasss queen about it

God if I was one of the 13 in plur1bus i would be like 1) I need to see every bird please take me to see them 2) I must live on a train a beautiful train 3) I want all the surgeries please take good care of me and give me what i want

I think they are putting something in the water that's turning me into a well rounded individual who is hydrated and can think clearly somebody stop them

do you ever forget you're hitting the bong mid rip like *pixies where is my mind begins to play*

We go together like unlovable and scamp I guess what I'm trying to say is this isn't working anymore

If you live in south Minneapolis and you date someone in Northeast you're in a long distance relationship if you live in south Minneapolis and date someone living in St. Paul congratulations on succeeding in interstellar dating we are all rooting for you down here back on earth

I feel like if you live south Minneapolis you could easily get away with having a secret second family in Northeast or at the very least a fictional partner no one in south would check in fact i'm pretty sure it's impossible to even know more than 5 people living in Northeast if you live in south

My therapist saw me holding my plushy and was like "oh you brought your little comfort guy" and like no sadly I didn't bring my works 3 jobs smokes 2 packs a day and fucked me once but we talked it out and it's not weird anymore nonbinary friend because that's my comfort guy this is cinnamoroll

yeah sex is whatever i'm into something new it's exactly like sex but it is actually free of sin and im calling it doinking

what's a girl gotta do to be a free use no holds refused little spoon

[lf smol beans were allowed to be nonbinary in 1956]: erm *touches shoulder* could you not play jazz i have autism and its overstimulating 🫣

My therapist saw me holding my plushy and was like "oh you brought your little comfort guy" and like no sadly I didn't bring my works 3 jobs smokes 2 packs a day and fucked me once but we talked it out and it's not weird anymore nonbinary friend because that's my comfort guy this is cinnamoroll

It should be illegal and punishable by death to be sad in america that way everyone will be super motivated to be happy all the time it's perfect a smile on every face the end of depression american genius knows no limits

I love tammy wynette's discography except all those songs about forgiving a man for cheating on you and also those songs where's she's like i'm not a feminist break me down and mold me into your ideal woman i call my husband daddy because he replaced my father i can't we do to your laundry forever

sometimes i intentionally idle my hands just to let the devil know im thinking about him

i don't keep liquor or any alcohol at home so when i sleep over at friend's house who does i have a little night cap and i gotta say having a little sherry before bed say what you will about those gay crane brothers from seattle but they sure knew how to get drunk right before going to bed

honestly it's beautiful you can wake up and have thoughts i one day god willing will try that

I think i'm forever cursed to have cute blindness which is when someone will tell me Im doing something cute or being cute and i'll be like "what the fuck you stupid rancid whore how fucking dare you perceive me and project cuteness onto me you dumb evil bitch i'm being normal you're being a freak"

being bisexual is so fricking awful everytime i have a lustful thought i'm like kinda gay about it

a boy who uses his plushies as back support and girl who apologizes to them if they get on the floor can be friends in 2026 and that's what the republican party is trying to take from us