Greeneville Zoo
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
📤 11691
📥 35
📝 877
Not affiliated with the Greeneville Pet Cemetery
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add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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Did you know that having jungle cats lick pedestrian walkways clean is not nearly as sanitary as hosing them down? Anyway, we’ve changed our policy.
about 23 hours ago
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When visiting our wolf, coyote, or jackal enclosures, keep in mind that the Greeneville Rule Book actually does say a dog can’t play basketball.
2 days ago
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We’re launching an investigation into how our chimps were able to host an illegal poker game, who tipped off the FBI and where the money is buried.
3 days ago
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Our breeding-program research reports that the animals’ reluctance to mate is often linked to people like you standing around watching.
4 days ago
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During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.
5 days ago
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People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.
5 days ago
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Our wolves don't have rabies. That's beard conditioner.
6 days ago
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To all concerned callers: We agree that animals should be behind bars. But the Greeneville Zoo Streaker is now a matter for local authorities.
6 days ago
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"The next enclosure features the Western Lowlife Gorilla." "You mean Western Lowland Gorilla?" "No."
7 days ago
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Until the Season Pass automatic turnstile is repaired, please holler or bang on the gates.
7 days ago
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Waiting to see one of our popular exhibits? Make sure you’re in line behind other humans, not our lemmings.
8 days ago
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The zoo's lovable otters have threatened to stop being “so damned cute" until David Fincher makes Season 3 of Mindhunter.
9 days ago
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Whoever performed the Godfather 3 Sofia Coppola Death Scene, the bears aren't convinced.
10 days ago
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The bird screaming obscenities turned out to be a former intern in a convincing parrot costume. Sorry about that.
10 days ago
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Huge thanks to everyone who has donated wood to our woodchuck enclosure. We have reached an undetermined percentage of our goal.
11 days ago
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We're missing a couple lemurs.
add a skeleton here at some point
11 days ago
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As you pass the jellyfish remember to wish them a happy World Jellyfish Day, but don’t expect a thank you because they have no manners. Or brains.
12 days ago
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For Godzilla Day, we replicated the look of his atomic breath by getting our lizards hooked on Newport menthols.
12 days ago
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Promotion of the Month: You can keep anything you find in our kangaroo’s pouch if you can get out of the enclosure un-kicked.
12 days ago
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He'll come back when he's hungry.
12 days ago
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Welp. Gonna need more paper towels.
13 days ago
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Thank you for calling Greeneville Zoo. Press 1 for hours. Press 2 to speak with a monkey.
14 days ago
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To: All Staff Subject: Halloween Stop handing out animal crackers to the children. They're eating them in front of the animals, and the lions, tigers, bears, and elephants are freaking out.
15 days ago
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Please refrain from throwing candy into the gorilla exhibit until after they sign “Trick or treat.” Thank you.
15 days ago
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It's already Halloween Down Under. We turned the koala enclosure upside down so they can skitter across the ceiling like Toni Collette in Hereditary.
16 days ago
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Animal costumes are banned from the zoo after last Halloween’s tranquilizer dart incident.
16 days ago
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For National Cat Day, we're giving our big kitties extra Leopard, Tiger and Lion Nip
17 days ago
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If your kids are sad that the animals aren’t free, remind them that nobody truly is.
17 days ago
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Greeneville Zoo monkeys are not “highly aggressive toward humans.” They have just been listening to Taylor Swift’s “The Man” on repeat and developed an attitude problem.
17 days ago
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Our “World of Birds” show has been canceled indefinitely after someone showed them a certain Alfred Hitchcock movie.
18 days ago
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Greeneville Zoo proudly celebrates animals' impact on humanity. For example, horses can provide transportation, snake venom is used in life-saving medicines, and elephants inspired the design of the bendy straw.
19 days ago
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This is why we give our primates chewing gum.
add a skeleton here at some point
20 days ago
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​​The reason we have three Brady Bunch kids on display is because no other zoo was willing to rescue them.
20 days ago
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Giraffe for sale: weird short neck
20 days ago
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The raven saying "nevermore" isn't part of our Halloween display. She's just pissed off that we fed her out of season blueberries.
20 days ago
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95% of all giraffes have names that start with “G,” even those in the wild. This is true. No need to verify.
21 days ago
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Greeneville Zoo will not tolerate rumors of cheap taxidermy after what we've spent on it.
22 days ago
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Vultures cool themselves down by urinating on their own feet. Big Cat intern Geoff did the same thing when he began cleaning what he thought was an empty cage.
22 days ago
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We apologize for the wombats’ no-show on International Wombat Day yesterday. They were on Jury Duty.
23 days ago
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Please note: There will be no refunds for food snatched by the ibis roaming our cafeteria. Once a hotdog leaves our kiosk, it's your responsibility.
24 days ago
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Spots are still available for Zzzs at the Zoo, our after-hours event where families spend the night inside the hyena pen.
25 days ago
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Redville's truck didn't "run out of gas and coast into an empty field." The drivers ran when they were stopped by police and the truck crashed into an old farm stand that was selling pirated vape cartridges on the road out of Redville.
add a skeleton here at some point
25 days ago
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On this date in 1977, a plane crash took the lives of several members of Lynyrd Skynyrd. To commemorate that event, today the first 100 guests get a free bird.
26 days ago
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Announcing our new platypus, a creature who prefers complete solitude. To make him feel welcome, please leave him the hell alone.
27 days ago
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The kangaroo fistfight at today's "Aww-stralia: Adorable Down-Under" event was natural animal behavior. No refunds.
28 days ago
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To the owner of a gigantic wooden horse left outside our gate: we’re not falling for it. If you want in, buy a ticket like everyone else.
29 days ago
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Yes, your children may lick the Colorado River toads, but don't blame us when they start listening to jam bands.
30 days ago
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Our intern is not officially on display in that enclosure. He’s just between apartments right now.
about 1 month ago
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Redville Zoo's sea otters hold hands so they don't end up as pelts in the Redville Zoo gift shop.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Crazy Zoo Facts: Sea Otters sleep holding hands as a pledge of unity and devotion to Ottriaxus, Demon God Of The Night.
about 1 month ago
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