Listen, I’ll grant you this thing sucks ass and doesn’t work, and employees and customers hate it and by extension us for using it. I’ll grant you all that. But what if it doesn’t? Wouldn’t we look foolish? I think my logic is sound.

you are not owed the affection of your children, but they are owed yours. if this seems unfair to you you are not fit to have kids. they don't get the choice that you do

Why did I stumble upon Frederick laying here looking like he’s summoning an Eldritch horror?

200 balls! for $19.99! i don't need or even want 200 balls but i'd be crazy to pass up such a deal!

“try water fox or ice weasel” try chill penguin. install flame mammoth. you just download bubble crab. literally just use boomer kuwanger. sting chameleon has a search bar, use it to find toxic seahorse.

But we, insofar as we have power over the world and over one another, we must learn to do what the leaf and the whale and the wind do of their own nature. We must learn to keep the balance.

88 is now code for "Help Hamburger" thank you for your attention to this matter

I've told the story numerous times but my dad cut off his mother when I was very young & I have so much respect for him doing so & protecting his family from that generational harm.

My favorite interaction on here

incredible stuff over at r/ididnthaveeggs It’s a eggnog recipe

Become ungovernable

I think baseball would be more interesting if all the bats were Darth Maul sticks too, computer with a neurodegenerative disease

For anyone worried AI will replace all of us. Courtesy of Gemini for the prompt “create an infographic of all the World Series winners since 1986” I dare you to find 10 things that are right.

There really is nothing worse than going to the weed store

patiently, with love, explaining to my cat that he's just a little dude. a gordy. a little gordito. a little doodle. a deet doot.

🎶… He’s making a list And checking it twice, He’s got a lot of problems With you people, and now You’re gonna hear about it! 🎶

Sure is hard out here being a replacement level white boy.

I spent $900 at 1587 Prime so you don’t have to.

when it comes to holiday cheer all I can say is ....GET ON MY LEVEL

Gruber (1988)

Most viewed scenes from Gruber (1998)

If you are old enough, you will remember the War on Terror version of this

timeline cleanse: franky watches the garbage truck pick up the trash this morning

I like that when I joined bluesky it was a place for sickos to not be bothered by Nazis but now it has a reputation for being super libbed up so when I say something like "do you think Wolverine got regular boners or did it pop in and out like his claws" someone will stop by to say "VOTE!"

Two-story outhouse Gays, IL

in the game of basketball you can do something as ordinary as *walking* and they'll call it "traveling" like ur on some kind of mystical *journey* and you'll be sanctioned and punished and called foul they'll call you a foul one

Posted without comment

I witnessed a murder

guy who says “wait…I recognize this fighting style” every time he gets punched

We’re not running out of good ideas, but the tech fetishists who have no ideas other than “but I put a lot of money and emotion into this basket” always do, and their narcissism does not allow them to consider that their failed ideas suck, and the flop sweat is palpable.

Tis the season

Fortunately it's not. Next question

On my way to make spirits bright

doug jones (d-alabama) has filmed a video of him doing the 67 thing so consider the senate election over. hes won

Really tired of this Aarong Rodgers guy

Alright, time to get ahead of this thing and come clean: I've been summoning skeletons since 4:30 this morning. So far I have summoned 346 skeletons. I am sorry for having done this.

Putting "implemented an automated irrigation system that reduced water consumption 20%" in my year end review to see if anyone is paying attention.

are mimes allowed to fart or does that count as talking

Grandma is spinning yarns about the Emperor again, think the old age has sadly spread to her brain

🆒🌯

you're a green one, mr grinch

Sometimes when I go outside, there is a cat. These are those cats.

Look at this cat... youtu.be/KY9Hbv6ywQE?...

Thank you Lord Pavel, for allowing us to contemplate upon the nature of household governors 🐈