Hate to say it but I believe most, if not all, of my followers can be replaced by AI in 12-18 months

nw the last bus

nw all the empty rooms (god help me)

Cartoon: If anyone in Chicago knows this school or an anti ICE organization affiliated with them I would be happy to donate this art. I only wish I could have fully Sal Buscema-ed that punch :)

nw the singers

what a terrible whiskey friday with tony dokoupil to be sober

Be Okay

no, no, that was doctor ounce

they call him the quad god because he fell down four times

straight into the circular file

FBI Announces They Have Located Savannah Guthrie

okay resistance libs you can have ‘howard nutlick’

it's not FOR us

*TRUMP: WE'RE NEGOTIATING RIGHT NOW FOR GREENLAND *ADDS: GREENLAND WILLING TO “EXILE” BJORK. “VERY NASTY TO ME” AT 1988 GRAMMYS *GREENLAND PM NEILSEN ON LIVE MIC: “SHE’S ICELANDIC FOR FUC—“

🚨

Yeah, I support Newsom. I appreciate the harp, and I think she and Andy Samberg are just such a power couple

🎶 foodways are dark tonight

oh is a broomstone happening?

what’s happening, did we do a good curl

this isn’t even selling ammunition to an arms factory, it’s selling stuffed animals to an arms factory

your pfp’s a picture of des moines register columnist richard doak. nice try, idiot

i wish she’d been a personal injury lawyer at some point because then i could say ‘you can take the chaser out of the ambulance but you can’t take the ambulance out of the chaser’

i will never vote for gavin newsom but i’d vote for AOC

a little game of pin-the-nazi-on-the-base

another for the ‘noem isn’t an adult’ file

forgot the most important of the genre

even a lot of the trump appointees are still, at minimum, the kind of people who could get clerkships

this kind of thing feels like a sign that the cops don’t really care what happens to the lawyers

the one thing that gets needlessly explained to you every time if you’re a man is ‘the thin mints are better if you put them in the freezer’

Coincidentally, surveillance backlash is my DJ name.

it is, in fact, all about the benjamins

i don’t think i’m supposed to be on this list lol

here we go

awful 5G reception in the office bathroom today

??

i hope gavin newsom falls face first into a wolverine enclosure

i’m sorry is that -26?

*90s Beck voice* in the time of total rubes I was a flunky bitcoin wallet up in flames and someone stole my monkey while liver king hawks never ever eating vegetables join the new platform and put on the doomscroll waiting for my medbed with diamond hands set to hodl angry at bluesky for saying JD

the thing about the DHS shutdown is, i don’t really believe the homeland should be secure

phony account

Titanfall 2 came out October 2016 and Arkane's Prey came out May 2017. Gaming has not improves since then

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression. CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school? DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town. C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name? DR: Now look

this is why its super important for democratic politicians and liberals to *make noise* about things. most people do not follow politics, certainly not like we junkies do. when you make a ton of noise about stuff it bleeds over into normie world and shapes opinions.

Like 90% of the shit Musk says could be dialogue for Dewey Crowe on JUSTIFIED.

i cast spirit airlines

First prize is an all expenses paid weekend off the island. Anyone wanna know what second prize is? Second prize is a plush from the gift shop, my choice. Third prize is we drop you in the brontosaurus enclosure. They can’t eat you but they also don’t KNOW that yet.

"i promise right now, years away from an election, to vote for an awful shitbag bigot because he isn't the other guy" shut da fuck up. you are making things worse

Guess who’s 22 now, wants revenge, and has entered Texas airspace

oh hey the athletic brewing hop waters are pretty good