And ten years ago if I told you who had which titles you’d have slapped me on the spot

gone down a rabbit hole to determine who’s the worst actor to ever win an acting oscar and folks it’s jared leto. of course it is

would you still love me if i was a wormhole

the trump DoD believes simultaneously that every man in the middle east has been involved in terrorism and that iran will immediately bow to violent extortion never suspecting that more demands will follow

inviting ex republicans into the big tent and fumigating it

Never Trump Republican? That’s a Republican. Liberal who is former Republican? Republican. Moderate? You guessed it buddy. Lifelong liberal who hates the left? You know what it is.

it takes a lot to make me really angry and so the universe has provided a lot

not only has she not deleted this shit, she’s still doing it. throw the florida democrats in the trash and start over

look: you’re worth more than a city council member

I wonder how many people are even aware these are slurs? Transphobes started using "Tim" to refer to trans women by a masculine name and likewise "Tif" for trans men, it's coded misgendering, as they'd regularly refer to us as Timothy or Tiffany to insult us. UK journalists using anti-trans slurs.

doubtful. you can basically infer that alito has the opinion because we know the authors of almost all the other opinions from that sitting

i thought the sankey diagram conveyed this a lot more clearly

hi! we noticed you’ve been idle for some time. are you still the person you were when you logged in?

yeah those astronauts are pretty far from home but have you ever been stuck playing phase 10 at a party

‘you gotta kick the nazis out of the bar’ includes bill kristol and the bulwark

Trump threatens Iran: "If you do not surrender by Tuesday at 8pm, I will continue to lose this war for many additional days"

you will understand things much better if you assume trump is always two steps behind, even on his own initiatives

The Usual Suspects (1995)

kamala harris took that picture of barack obama and jeffrey epstein in vietnam

the dinner’s organized by the WHCA. they should have the event as usual and announce the president’s not invited

less popular freak:

not the only thing going on but ‘it’s her turn’ liberalism created this opening

the funniest thing about what appears to be professional quidditch is it’s coed

relatedly ‘here’s what i’m drinking bluesky’ is basically unlimited positive vibes

sorry, if you want social media to be less toxic, you are obligated to be all in favor of food posts, which are objectively way less toxic than the vast majority of other topics

Faine is right. Look at this shit

the UCLA bruins absolutely mauling south carolina like some kind of very large apex predator, like much larger than a wolf or a mountain lion, the two largest north american predators i can think of

they’ve got quidditch on one of the sports bar TVs :(

report: they’re putting eye specula on byron noem and making him read the book

fuck, if only i’d listened to black women i would have known chappell roan is white

i’ve a gun

get me a fuckin breakfast sandwich you crazy bastards or you'll be living in hell

control may not have been briefed on all types of toilet use

donald trump has died. yesterday he did a vodka shot with pete hegseth for every american aircraft downed by the IRGC. he succumbed to his injuries early this morning

well, the michigan wolverines really showed themselves to be akin to, in wildlife terms, something like a marten if it were much bigger and stockier. i don’t know, there’s no animal like this so i just have to do my best in terms of similes

imagine getting rejected by the rim on an alley-oop down by 17. it’s like a mountain lion failing to bite through the thick, loose skin of like, i don’t know, can anyone name a large carnivorous badger-like creature?

arizona airmailing that three like a bear swiping at smaller, more agile, but still very dangerous predator of some kind. not sure if this exists

the michigan wolverines really came into this game like a big sleek raccoon. like a kind of big sleek raccoon strong enough to take down a much larger adult deer. if you can imagine an animal like that. god, what if there was an animal like that?

i’m sorry. is anyone enjoying this bit? i think it’s hilarious and i’m going to keep doing it but I guess i owe it to you all to ask

okay so since there’s no real animal that’s comparable to the way the michigan wolverines are playing tonight i asked claude to render one and this is what it showed me?

the michigan wolverines really doing the kind of harm to arizona that a large mustelid with razor sharp teeth and claws might do. if there were an animal like that. idk

🎶 to the town of Irving, Texas rode a stranger one fine day looked around him for a moment, then said, "I must get away" 🎶

irving, texas, and i was there a lot

wow the wolverines are playing like if there was some kind of small to medium sized mammal that was built to fuck up everything it meets

donald trump was last alive in a way that other human beings would recognize in 1994

ask me who i’m sheltering in my basement. go check. i’m just going to my kitchen to cut some limes

all right i’ve got two and a half hours before dinner with my parents. do i 1) get back to work on the orca from jaws lego set or 2) go out on the outdoor couch and read shadow ticket

donald trump unexpectedly appearing on a cross tomorrow, gasping for breath

look, if the krassensteins say trump is at walter reed who’s to say they’re wrong

on mastodon i was accused of being a hitlerite because my bio said ‘you’re being very rude to adolf hitler’ and i can take that shit but the dealbreaker was that they were doing guilt by association to my mufos for at least two days before i found out about it