Terminator: Post Money Society 🤖 your fanny pack, give it to me 😎🎒 sure and have my sunglasses 👓🤖🎒 thanks, I know it was a crazy ask 😀 hope you find that child 👍🤖🎒 I can't believe how anxious I was to ask something of a stranger

How many other fiddle contests did the devil win before Johnny?

THIS FUCKER STOLE 30 OF *MY* LIKES

Markwayne Gacy

I will never vote for Kamala Harris.

The president can't possibly have the energy to start all the shit he's starting

The Times does the passive headline with so many stories. Sheehy wasn't helping. His "help" wasn't needed. The veteran wasn't protesting. He was expressing his opinion.

Will Stancil going door to door to get mad at individual voters

the only possible answer to trump is anti war

deinocheirus is hittin the "hear me out" pose

In my old age I've developed a pet peeve for genre fiction characters saying they're tracking an energy signature. Oh yeah? Just now? Do you study skyscraper tall men frequently?

Dressing like the matrix. All dirty and shit. This is the real world

mudvayne mullin

I made fun of the existence of a wagyu hamburger so my brother ordered one. We don't know who ended up with the wagyu burger

alright one more

Do you like posts that say stuff like “Heres what we can do to steve off disaster” or do you like posts that say stuff like “The way these heights wuthering got me feelin like white heathcliff”

oh baby

I will never vote for Will Stancil.

Recommending various things not on their merits but my decades old memory of their merits

Told my AA sponsor I have to put him in a safe space when I talk to him. It's true. I'm not accidentally starting shit even if he's never heard someone call it that

Bluesky management hates their userbase so fucking much.

Steve-O was on Joe Rogan's show trying to defend trans people and Rogan went off, he called trans people "fucking perverts" and "mass shooters" who have done the majority of school shootings. Completely unhinged bigotry paid for by your Spotify subscriptions.

Our messaging about Oklahoma is thankfully starting to take hold in the greater consciousness of the world

Markwayne is actually a noble title, and is the Oklahoma equivalent to "Marquis," and may be passed on at the same time your father gives you his car dealership

Made meatloaf out of laziness and it's all I'm asked for now

It's a hostile act towards society to make your child's name a fusion of two names. You know how annoying Ohio State alumni are? You've done that to your child

Changing my name to just Warrior because it would piss off a dead wrestler

Noem is stepping down to spend more time shooting her dogs

The hat is part of my sister in laws citizenship present

I was obsessed with the show wife swap in middle school and applied my family to be on it and they ended up calling my dad to talk about casting us and I was grounded for 2 months

Oh he still thinks he's doing his game show

I let her in so she got a treat for going out so she came back out to bury the treat

There might be a small scoop of ice cream somewhere in the vicinity of my bed. I looked everywhere and never found it

BLUESKY EMPLOYEE: I hope our ugly users are hit by a high speed train. BLUESKY POSTER: Sir, I run a food bank for coma orphans! Why would you say such a thing? BLUESKY EMPLOYEE: I hope all the endangered animals on earth die. I hope the sky is choked with black smoke forever.

And the phone wasn't a computer. It was even attached to the wall

We're outta missiles sir!!! Stand down, Brown Riders. I got this. *President Trump flies the Diarrhea Jet straight into the command bridge of an Iranian battleship*

Mambo island of stability number

Attack and dethrone the rock and roll hall of fame

Nancy Mace looks like one of the adults from Rugrats

Government goons out gooning in my community performing acts of pointless goonerism

Pens are tools and they all have a use except the garbage one

Questionable intelligence portion. Have not yet stabbed myself

Cover better than the original youtu.be/CmlnO1EwCT4?...

Nothing interesting happened but I hope I don't have an accident after filming masked law enforcement

The library will give you digital magazines

Wounded warrior