Sailing to the moon Fuck off

Wind has always been magic for me

I went to a haunted forest once; luckily most forests are not haunted

I don’t know what the fuck is happening anymore

Pissed my family determined my callsign to be “dipshit”

Kids show: can’t kill humans Also kids show: can kill hundreds of human looking robots

Each Scrubdaddy has a human soul trapped inside

Unreal! Wife won’t let me hide bullets, cash, and first aid kits in the toilet for when the apocalypse happens 😤

Rosy Maples are back!

Why not drink some ants?

I need some good spells and incantations

Broken impossible game but the music randomly plays in my head sometimes

Hey apple your phone fucking sucks

My wife is fighting stage 4 cancer and has been through a lot, please boost or consider donating, everything helps. 🩷 spot.fund/dq5tvn2sc

another fucking day

And people besmirch staten island

I dunno maybe it would be fun to be stalked and eaten by a cryptid

@tweedle.bsky.social ask your mom to buy you sumn

I interned at a stained glass restoration studio when I was younger and the owner offered to connect me with a stone restoration company for work. I couldn’t see me doing that and I still wonder what could have been if I went down that road

Depression lifter here

Hutts are naked. Chewbaccas are naked. Seems like a lot of species have a shame issue

Capricorn: You experienced an emotion. Ponder your grave failure.

The solution to avoiding biometrics is easy: simply turn into a mist

Did the toby keith hologram drop out yet?

get Ready for the dazzling

120 Days of Sodom the Broadway Musical

That morlock never stood a chance

Hey Siri how I not be asshole

Watch Now: Jim Cramer Eats a Mouse Pad

It’s like grubhub for migraines

Space trucking game where you take space amphetamines to make your deliveries on time

The Mandalorian and adjust the brightness on your screen until you can barely see the Grogu

Well now that’s two family members who fell asleep during a star war

Buff Jabbas and Baby Yodas

The Mandalorian and adjust the brightness on your screen until you can barely see the Grogu

Moonlight Fucking Sonata

Why the fuck would you play sad piano music on hold with fucking palliative care

repost to spread the good word of yooberz

Hambot, the robot ham for men aged 60 and up

Hello I am robot can I interest you in smoothie

Do you like my failings y/n

Wait it’s bitcoin? I just bought $180,000 worth of bipcoin. I knew those guys at compusa were up to no good

I saw george washington spinning in his grave. I watched it on graveovision

pretty sure ET shot JR

No one remembers Rudolph’s journey to the island of asshole toys

No one remembers Rudolph’s journey to the island of asshole toys

Did you know? Wilford Brimley was 25 when he turned 80. wow!

Corpus Crispy