Walking into Disney and sliding this image to them from across a long table “gentlemen, that will be $400 million dollars”

Is it legal for me to request a coffin flop at my funeral?

Coverage of the Charlie Kirk Funeral begins today at 2pm on ABC, all Disney apps, Hulu, and Corncob TV

Lumi within the capsule

What movie do you consider perfect?

They really jump the gun (😏) immortalizing these men to film when they’re ultimately forgettable foot soldiers of empire, not great men of history. Their legacy is as worthless as dirt and will have zero value in a few weeks

Starbucks workers really need to be making a lot more money because they always seem to be on the frontline of every major right wing culture war grievance

Dam been writing a book about this and she just TikToked it in 90 seconds.

“Mint tea with two honeys”

In America, if you point out the irony of a pro gun violence right winger being killed by right wing gun violence, the government will get you fired and force you to perform a humiliation ritual for your job back

Safe Space for Hitler in USA!

Goes to show how far “respectability” takes you because if you spouted vile racism, homophobia, and transphobia but looked like a 50 year old pot bellied, bearded trucker, Ezra Klein would not be swooping down like an avenging angel to defend you.

This freak exists solely to normalize fascism and perpetuate the narrative that fascists just want to debate ideas peacefully but are under attack by mean ol leftists. Go fuck yourself buddy. Debate these nuts, centrist coward

The Democratic Party has already wiped itself of any actual policy. This group of young, possibly sociopathic, staffers ask, “what if less?”

At least if I ever get fired for not mourning the death of Charlie Kirk I can fall back on my true passion: hitchhiking circus clown that travels the United States solving mysteries in small towns

The way we save America is merge Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl with a Perpetual Stew

At least we never have to look at his weird ass gums anymore

curb episode where larry gets dragged to a birthday party for a guy he doesn't know and decides to write something funny in the guestbook. cut to present day, larry's at home watching the evening news: "comedian larry david wrote 'happy birthday, i know your little secret' in jeffrey epstein's book"

This is my emotional support Mars Attacks!

All this talk of “Rogan of the Left” and “Centrist Mamdani” and we never once considered what we need is a John Hinckley who goes to target practice

Italians at the bar after a long day

Sir please respect decorum while you commit war crimes on American soil!

Doctor I trust more than RFK Jr

Literally the second meme I've made in my life.

“Building stuff” is an interesting way of saying finding new and annoying ways to monetize existence without providing anything material

I’ve lived in Providence for over a year and still haven’t seen him. Does Family Guy even really live in Rhode Island?

What function does this serve exactly? I have no idea what Marty, the Stop & Shop Robot, does but at least he moves effortlessly through the store and has charming googly eyes.

Slept in a Dave Matthews Band shirt, woke up in…oh god! Oh god the smell! Auuugggh!

Met with the one and only Yellow King, folks. Carcosa told me he’s a big fan!

Spent Labor Day watching Kinds of Kindness as my forefathers would have wanted

Post a random picture or else everything will go bad in September.

Yeah I'm back on "He's Definitely Dead And They're Covering It Up."

Powerful message from the opposition party

I enhanced this photo with the power of AI and the results are both surprising and promising

Please oh please oh please

In Nature performing rituals to long forgotten spirits, goblins, and various fae folk with one intention in mind: kill him. Tear him apart like soft bread. Please we’ve been so good let us have a treat

Bad news for hummus and carrots: I woke up

Cryptid sighting

Vincent D'Onofrio should change his name to Vincent Mitochondria since he's the powerhouse of The Cell (2000)