Paris Hilton and Jimmy Fallon losing their apes was so good. They could afford it of course but still hilarious

Yes things are horrible, but I’m here to remind you of how much fun twitter was when all those dumbbells lost their apes what a time to be alive $STONKS

it’d be funny if this new feature was somehow responsible for the next wave of crypto crashes

huge congratulations to @froggyblink.bsky.social for absolutely nailing the assignment on the first-ever skeet to feature a functioning $TSLA cashtag

THREAD. A collection of random dogs I have met on my adventures in the British countryside. You will find the captions to the photos in the alt text.

Is the Cure to Male Loneliness Becoming an ICE Agent? ~ Michelle Cottle, NYT Op-Ed

I mean, we all knew it. What’s funny is my OP below had a quote post of someone challenging my belief that ICE was filled with Proud Boys by saying they were instead probably recruited from “bounty hunters” ¿ Por qué no los dos?

I've taken the paywall off this eulogy I wrote for my magical, mysterious ex-stray cat George - who died last year - in case anybody would like a read. It was very, very hard to write but I think it might be my favourite thing I’ve ever written about cats. www.tom-cox.com/lots-of-peop...

I watched this recently and it perfectly describes what happened to Renee Good. youtu.be/qNfAFfu6VD0?...

His 6 month old stopped breathing! HIS SIX MONTH OLD STOPPED BREATHING! A father was getting his kids out of the neighborhood because it was unsafe & ICE threw flash bangs & tear gas at his car with children & a baby inside! His 6 month old stopped breathing & all the children were hospitalized!

You really won't be able to put the snakes back in the can. Any vision of ICE going back to being somehow lawful and peacekeeping (which they never were, but are now off the leash) is gone -- no trust can be reclaimed by the average citizen because what they'll remember is this terror.

On January 14, after ICE carried out yet another shooting in Minneapolis, a crowd chased them out of the neighborhood and gained control of their vehicles. In this firsthand account, an anonymous participant describes what took place.

The people in my life that are jazzed about chatgpt etc are all ignorant untrusting white dudes who don’t listen to instructions from experts while simultaneously having opinions on the best way to do things they do not know how to do

ChatGPT: our user base is that percentage of dudes who were polled and said they could beat Serena Williams at tennis

Why did Bluesky put a “What’s Up?” posting prompt at the top of my feed when the blue circle button in the lower right corner already exists? It’s annoying af & feels very Facebookish

a nightmare farmer’s market where each grower claims to have the freshest horrors

they are currently in the wild with guns and zero consequences but yeah let’s consider a scenario where they aren’t getting paid with our healthcare money

My geography degree will be rendered useless if we resurface the entire earth with nukes.

You guys wanna see my cat?

Just learned that Greenland doesn’t have any nuclear weapons And it reminded me of way back on twitter when we lobbied to “give Primpker a nuke” I think it was 2018? @primpker.bsky.social would know Good times

do you think donald trump has to lie down like a baby when they change his diapers

This good-natured, 34-year-old, Muslim, immigrant man—who the Times bemoaned was too young and radical to “get anything done”—has accomplished more good governance in a *week* on the job than most liberal politicians accomplish in their whole careers. With a smile & a joyful heart. A blessing.

hearts hearts hearts hearts i am going to start shipping these out in the next few days! nora.jewelry/products/kob... #glass #fusedglass

One of the main things I appreciate about LA is that going anywhere, at any time, in any way, is a horrifying ordeal

Why did Bluesky put a “What’s Up?” posting prompt at the top of my feed when the blue circle button in the lower right corner already exists? It’s annoying af & feels very Facebookish

you're never alone when you have a cursed amulet

The only powerful public figure who ever actually defunded the Police was Sting.

Next week in the NYT: How to dress up or dress down that barrel you wear instead of clothes

Part of me feels like I have to take care of my health and live as long as possible so I can see these baddies die And the other part of me envies the dead and is ready to go at any time

We have such carrots to show you…

a nightmare farmer’s market where each grower claims to have the freshest horrors

ICE nazis : you people need to drive safe! also ICE nazis:

While ICE agents are terrorizing communities, killing people, & beating children, they’re playing the victim because someone apparently threw a “bottle of piss” at them, & telling us that we need to drive safe. It’s hard out there for the Gestapo😢

Part of me feels like I have to take care of my health and live as long as possible so I can see these baddies die And the other part of me envies the dead and is ready to go at any time

There’s a really good update on the Ford worker who checked Trump yesterday:

A St. Paul resident says federal officers knocked on her door and asked her to identify Hmong and Asian households in her North End neighborhood last week.

Having seen several abductions up close, it is really hard to convey how much the thing they’re doing is roaming in military convoys until they see someone who is alone and isn’t white, and then jumping out in large numbers, pulling them into a van, and screeching off, all in 90 seconds or so.

ok ok guess I have to unblock Will Stancil

This sounds very cool and I got the demo on steam and wishlisted this because I gotta keep an eye on this! store.steampowered.com/app/3255890/...

Bandcamp bans AI music

experiencing eggo death (burning my waffle)

Jury: *determins that Cellin Gluck suffered $3.5m in damages & awarded his daughter, who was there with him that day, an additional $300,000 for emotional distress* LA county lawyers: Gluck & other protesters were partly at fault bc they were there at the time Judge: *reduces the awards by 35%*

Cops all over this country deliberately aimed flaming cans of sometimes expired by decades chemical weapons banned in war at our faces and heads in 2020 and very few of us had had even a drop of justice, never mind settlements large enough to even pay off our medical bills

“embrace grind culture” brother, embrace my fist in your face

hey @democrats.org, I'm not certain the fascist agency currently shooting moms and tear gassing schoolchildren while ignoring every single law mean to constrain their actions will be deterred by adding a QR code to their lapel? do you have any other ideas?

These intake assessments really need to be updated because what is this supposed to be an indicator of rn ffs

New “this is fine” dog just dropped