The next frontier in business is going to be "dynamic pricing" for everything. Business geniuses will say, "Why shouldn't everything be more expensive when people need it most?" Food prices rising while you're standing in line, washing machines more expensive on Saturdays.

John Digweed

She has an OnlyFans (complimentary)

When I finally shed this mortal coil, I’ll look back most fondly on but one thing: all the nudes.

Funny Danish observation: The word for butter is “smør.” The verb meaning “to apply something” like lotion is “smører.” Like, it means you’re buttering yourself. I just think that’s neat.

[first speakeasy owner] I guess I shoulda told someone about it.

When I finally shed this mortal coil, I’ll look back most fondly on but one thing: all the nudes.

I used to have zero Ankaragücü soccer jerseys. Now? Now I have two. I envy no man.

I'm doing some fake ads for a branding presentation for a pool company, and just thought it would be funny to make a well-designed ad about not swimming in their pool if you've had diarrhea in the last two weeks.

Markwayne Mullin should have to begin every interview by spelling his name, just so folks never lose sight of it. “Yes, one word.”

Un-fucking-believable

I'm going to a techno show tomorrow night and won't get home until like 3:00 am. I was thinking about how I'm going to stay awake and realized that I stayed up all night shitting before my colonoscopy. This will be way more fun than that.

Markwayne Mullin should have to begin every interview by spelling his name, just so folks never lose sight of it. “Yes, one word.”

Two words: Jared. Kushner.

The should be called the Miami Football Dolphins so people don’t think they’re seeing actual dolphins

fired ANOTHER plumber. like my problem is “hard water”???? ok bro that’s just ice like i’m not dumb

I stumbled upon an Insta account for a guy who is traveling solo from Milan to Tokyo without getting on a plane and he has no car. It’s bringing me immense joy.

we appear to have four competing fascist movements jockeying for control: blood & soil nazism under miller and hegseth, darwinian ecofascism from rfk, technofascism under vance and musk, and one Big Wet Hitler who understands the true animating core of the american volk is a deep love for shopping

the FBI let Trump fuck an alien and he caught an intergalactic STI and that's why his body is decaying

My husband's first class flight to Dubai to get hair plugs has been canceled due to bombs??? Will no one think of my poor husband and his bald head

None of these things are distractions. It’s just the conservative id doing everything it’s ever wanted as quickly as possible, and the only remote upside is that they feel like they’re on the clock.

The leader of the Christian Nationalist holy war has paid for more abortions than he has spent seconds in solitary prayer

Many, many buildings across the globe say the word “Trump” on them. Great big letters. Pretty easy to find.

If any Christians are worried about their pets post rapture (any day now) send me $2000 tomorrow and I’ll make sure they’re taken care of.

Worth keeping this in mind, too www.wired.com/story/why-te...

If he doesn’t come back, it’s because we didn’t bomb hard enough

I find a renegade drone, better believe I’m fuckin’ it

That's not a good number, but it's important to remember that wars only grow more popular the longer they go on.

We 👏 will 👏 murder 👏 with 👏 decorum

The Celtics leprechaun at center court looks like his ass is in the front

There are other reasons for attacking Iran, all of them dumb and malicious. But “shutting off the straight of Hormuz so that our stolen Venezuelan oil is more valuable” was surely a factor.

Why, indeed?

Why, indeed?

There are other reasons for attacking Iran, all of them dumb and malicious. But “shutting off the straight of Hormuz so that our stolen Venezuelan oil is more valuable” was surely a factor.

Here’s a thread of President Donald Trump getting booed in public, starting with Washington Commanders game. youtu.be/pt3QLiPxySw?...

Worth keeping this in mind, too www.wired.com/story/why-te...

We 👏 will 👏 murder 👏 with 👏 decorum

“People think I got the power ‘cause I got the monkeys. Nope. I got the power ‘cause I’ll let the monkeys loose.”

[tossing the imperial boomerang] Look at how far it flies lol!

Many, many buildings across the globe say the word “Trump” on them. Great big letters. Pretty easy to find.

I think about this Tony Benn speech much more than I used to

our government combines the impulse control of pete hegseth, the intellectual rigor of rfk jr, and the attention span of donald trump with elon musk’s signature sense of humor

His appearance at an NFL game, the same weekend the NFL played a game in a stadium Hitler built (!) prompted me to write this piece. Can’t Keep Politics Out of Sports

Here’s a thread of President Donald Trump getting booed in public, starting with Washington Commanders game. youtu.be/pt3QLiPxySw?...

☫

I am selling a couple hats ebay.us/m/JYhXrR

ill do it

Arch. Deluxe.