my wife is mad at me because i took down her live, laugh, love sign & replaced it with my karate, chimichangas, more chimichangas sign.

Krokodil Fridays with Tony Dokoupil

Instead of "Defund the Police," they should have said, "Let's work together to form community oversight committees that make suggestions for means-tested improvements for ALL municipal organizations."

It's not that the administration thinks there won't be any retaliation for their various conquests. It's that those retaliations will happen in the cities, and the administration hates the cities.

Schumer's pushback is always "they have to fill out the proper form first"

One of my favorite Democratic political moments was when that Kennedy brat that tried to primary Ed Markey had a plan to guarantee you a lawyer if your medical provider or insurer bankrupted you. Viva la revolución comrade.

We really lost something when sampling got cost-prohibitive.

[Garfield if Jim Davis had a Scott Adams style spiral] I hate Mondays... and minorities

You couldn't write a song that goes "celebrate good times, come on" today. It's too far fetched.

Minnesotan artists and songs of resistance on the show tonight on KEXP 1-5 AM PT. Lmk what need to hear <3

One-Star review of Denali that just days “too tall”

“The American people deserve to know that the central bank is led by a total slut,” Attorney General Pam Bondi said of the photo, promising that more sexually explicit images of Powell were on the way.

If things were different I’d put Bovino in a li’l pair of overalls and push him on a swing. I’d give him a lolly and let him run through my sprinkler. I’d pick him up and play airplane til he got dizzy. But he’s a Nazi.

“I smell trouble” he said, trying to describe his synesthesia.

If things were different I’d put Bovino in a li’l pair of overalls and push him on a swing. I’d give him a lolly and let him run through my sprinkler. I’d pick him up and play airplane til he got dizzy. But he’s a Nazi.

That Ross fucker got his gun out well in advance of any danger because the was hoping to shoot it. No additional training is fixing that.

The Democratic Party wants nothing more than for Republicans to love them and for their own supporters to also be Republicans.

Even if Renee Good was the Chief Financial Officer of Antifa, that’s not a reason to shoot her in the face

Have you ever wished the letter D was the letter L? Danish is the language for you.

making a slide deck for my boss and every graphic i use is another photo of him in his house doing every day activities

Death by imagined grievance

start slapping “big baby onboard” stickers onto the back of these ice vehicles

I would punt on first down

I love watching the most ironically named cops tactically eat shit on sidewalks

just found out there's a Butthole Cut of Song Sung Blue where they all have realistic CGI buttholes

Lol, peaked into the kid's room this morning and what a sight

An oldie but a goodie

Does anyone else picture Rainbow Road when they hear the song “Stepping Out”?

tobias-funke-maybe-it-will-work-for-us.gif

Quick idea I had for a shirt to wear when the National Guard rolls into town.

oh yeah? well, could a dying sex criminal do THIS? [bombs venezuela]

a blue whale’s anus can stretch up to over 3 feet making it the 2nd largest asshole in the world behind jd vance

ICE is a dumb agency with a dumber mission that they aren’t carrying out especially well. I don’t want to hear anything from elected officials that isn’t “The ethnic cleansing campaign needs to stop now.”

I was on Facebook for reporting purposes, and what’s going on over there appears to be Soup Binders.

Remember: crime is not something you do, a criminal is something you are

Shooting protesters and bystanders was Trump's desired outcome since the summer of 2020. If by some miracle thus chud was actually convicted, Trump would pardon him within the hour.

“wanna feel old?” sure brother, i would love to just feel something, anything

Sorry I’m late 🟢 I had diarrhea 🟡 Which I’m sure you can relate to 🔴

there's a non-zero chance someone is feeding him AI slop because it was clear from the videos that none of that even remotely happened

I fear we're at the "We can't give up power, there would be consequences for what we've done" stage.

They'll ask Trump about the ICE shooting, and he'll say that it should happen more often than it does, and there will be no blowback to that.

You simply do not come back from being the type of pariah that goes with attacking an ally.

Every congressperson should be asked whether they're excited about the prospect of attacks on American soil.

I'D LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER

A touching tribute to Mike F

This is the slowest anyone has ever died