Don't trust anyone who says 'lo and behold', those words aren't even real.

Crap, I forgot why I came in here. Boss: This is where you work.

Outer space is mostly feelings and that's why we tend to hide our footage and say the burrow owl has landed when anyone opens up in a newsreel voice

Whoa I don’t think I know how to do things

I like to spread the cheer on burnt toast

What if you had a wet sock AND a wet sleeve what then

Getting a lot more action as far as nods go since changing my bio from inactive creator to watches old kung fu movies

I’m kind of in a book club. My coworker read a book, tells me about it and I say Hmm, that sounds interesting.

Some days you want to fill up your purse with rocks swing it around and knock yourself unconscious.

Set phasers to self-reflection

Don't come to me on a Friday, eatin' my blueberry bagels.

Some people meditate to calm down, I plan my next meal.

And as is usually the case, who the fuck knows

Yes I'm swerving all over the road but I'm not drunk. I'm eating street corn.

I have a fondness for 3am.

I’ve had to adjust my first quarter forecast to include more crying on my lunch break.

I shaved up to my knees for this?

A couple of the M&M's I ate off of my shirt were buttons.

when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes

a business card that says ‘spaced out’

My racing thoughts can beat your racing thoughts.

Sad trombone noises for when you hear a recording of your own voice.

It was the fuck this of times; it was the fuck that of times.

Gym is short for Jamesnasium.

if you wanna find the most popular thoroughfare anywhere it's wherever i'm trying to stand

if your car doesn't feel like it's self-driving you're not dissociating hard enough

Being put out to pasture sounds so good thank you

I can actually feel myself getting dumber

having a whole life where I mean to say something relatable but instead I say something that warrants a wellness check

Not real or imaginary but a weird secret third thing

This whoie week at work could have been an email

When the street lamps come to the door and ask for the foggy seaside town to be turned down, make like you're adjusting your knob that would control that sort of thing while stepping softer and softer on the cobblestones. The old neighborhood is quaint as shit show some respect.

I think work meetings would be more enjoyable if they took place in a conversation pit.

My cat getting off my lap to sit next to me is more rejection than I can handle at 3am.

The next stage of life for me is eating walnuts from a baggie

my mental notes are a mess

the ambient chill playlist? Let me get my cardigan

happy friday to people not doing fascism only

I have a certain set of (the stupidest) skills.

Finding familiarity in a stranger, it might be collective unfamiliarity. Together we just don't know each other, whether we know that or each other or not. I have a fruit basket from outer space here, isn't it so recommended for extending one's primordial disconnect jargon

We shall all be congealed

Hey if you attend my party i'll give you a thousand bucks worth of cryptids

I love being awake four hours before I really need to be awake.

Other people say some wild shit when they talk in their sleep but last night I said “hey Bobby.”

My favorite electric blanket setting is fried bologna

I mostly find peace in my late night loneliness

Nightly firefly sightings are pretty much the only thing keeping me going right now.

*cringes herself out of existence*