[scene: my performance review] Boss: in Q3 you didn’t meet the goal of… Me: THE DOW IS AT $50,000! Boss: okayyyy [end scene]

Turns out I may be Canadian 🤔 🇨🇦

My Roman Empire #croix 😔

To be fair, he’s there in passing and unrelated to the sleaze Still 🤔

Awkward when you search the Epstein Files for your billionaire boss and …

Finally got up to the full glp-1 dose and have just two pieces of advice for anyone starting out 1) start supplementing fiber now 2) start taking Pepcid last week No joke

Was still feeling so good after Bad Bunny and now this

This is like they day after the Kinsgsbury Brick Wall playoff game and I’m just liking all the Spirit Fam posts But today I’m HATE-liking them

Probably doesn’t help that the Spirit haven’t had one full season of a head coach since Richie Burke

So Bay gets Hutton for 1.1 million from KC KC gets Croix for 1.0 million from the Spirit So KC got Croix AND $100,000 (I actually don’t know how any of it works)

So Bay wins the trades, KC looks to stay roughly even, and the Spirit have cash? WE ALREADY HAVE A BILLIONAIRE!!

30 days until the Washington Spirit Home Opener Or whatever 🤦‍♂️

Washington Spirit front office coming to the next press availability:

Spirit and Current fans doing the 🤝 thing again today and I do NOT like it

Washington Spirit Rookie Class of ‘24 ❌Croix Bethune Hal Hershfelt Kate Wiesner ❌Makenna Morris ❌Courtney Brown ❌Heather Stainbrook 😔 We gave up Sanchy and Staab

Everyone’s posts about non-NWSL stuff look trite and nonsensical right now GUYS, FOCUS!!

TO THE KANSAS CITY CURRENT??? *unintelligible screaming, in the distance, sirens*

Me now #spirit

First Sanchy and now Croix? Do you hate Trin that much?

AAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH I SEE IT NOW!!! Yeeeegggooooodddss nooooooo “You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”

Clearly a sports thing happened because my sports moots are all posting cryptic and emphatic things I am not watching what you’re watching! Give me a noun at least!

lol @ Boomer Esiason

Image of party balloon shot down near El Paso, Texas iykyk

Spouse needs a new car and doesn’t want electric or hybrid These junk ass cars get 21 mpg 🤦‍♂️

Santa Teresa NM 10-day flight restriction appears to be in place still (note: Santa Teresa is across the state line from El Paso and on the MX border) Reference: NOTAM FDC 6/2234 Source: tfr.faa.gov/tfr3/?page=d...

Sean Duffy absolutely NAILING his job with the FAA 🙄

Can anyone else open the FA TFR list? El Paso 10-Day Temporary Flight Restriction tfr.faa.gov/tfr3/?page=l...

I bought the Transformers Bumblebee car for my son years ago, and I can confidently state that we could defeat both the Decepticons and Autobots by spilling apple juice on them They’d never Transform again

*me, having not read the assignment* I think what I liked about it was how the heights were… wuthering so much?”

I’ll bet if Andy Ogles (R-Diculous) got one lap dance he’d calm the fuck down about the twerking

I stand by this post Behind it, actually 😉

If at the end of this Bill Clinton and Donald Trump are sharing a prison cell, ima be okay with it

Good Morning, Everyone! Today we’re going to start the Zoom with a fun little icebreaker called two truths and a … where are you going?

Not to be all Jade Helm 15… but wtf is going on in El Paso?

Age verification? My Huffy had a banana seat

I think one of the most important things I’ve learned as I’ve grown older is that I don’t know shit about fuck Ask me anything, I don’t know, man ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So much easier being a mandontknowshitter than being a mansplainer

I’ll bet Truth Social was created to give Trump an enclosed safe space to post his most insane thoughts, but it escaped containment and now we’re all doomed?

One last thing (lol) about the Bad Bunny Benito Halftime Show™️ The blocking was incredible It wasn’t a huge space, but they created so many discrete scenes, all of which had deep emotional meaning and impact (so I’m finding out) Plus two dolly shots 😵‍💫 A++

Team USA seems pretty decent at women’s hockey, eh?

In the ‘90s we were told that computers would do a lot of our work for us giving us more free time and capitalism was like “the fuck they will”

Megyn Kelly kind of a dick huh?

How long do you think they played curling before someone was like “What if we had brooms?”

Last thing (sure) It’s pretty evident that MAGA asshats think the United States sprang forth from God fully formed at some point in the idyllic past, an immaculate conception, and that it wasn’t wrestled to the ground acre by acre through corporate colonization and genocide Read a book Start here

This is rhetorical They don’t know (bad education systems) They don’t care (complete lack of empathy) They’re racist MAGA asshats who don’t like people two shades darker than them and they don’t even know what they don’t know Like Spanish has been here a WHOLE lot longer than English

I wonder if these MAGA asshats know that Puerto Ricans are Americans because we colonized them I wonder if these MAGA asshats know that there are so many Spanish place names out west because we took the land from Mexico I wonder if they know they’re mad at America being America ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The sign outside the Middle School down the street lists all the events for “Febuary” Two years in a row now “Febuary” At least the Spelling Bee is in April 🤦‍♂️

Okay, I can tell you guys now I was grass in the halftime show (prove I wasn’t)

Y’all remember Big Balls? What was THAT all about, amirite? #DOGE

Russia has never won a Gold Medal in Olympic Ice Hockey USSR: 7 Commonwealth of Independent States: 1 Olympic Athletes From Russia: 1

Why do men drive like that?