Has anyone whipped the discharge petition votes lately? Not that I suspect shenanigans, but I suspect shenanigans

I may be getting old, but not “blood pressure cuff on my desk” old *covers blood pressure cuff on my desk with papers*

Let’s not forget that the reason this is all fucked up is insurance companies

Pete Davidson turns down literally zero dollars

Still funny to me that Julie Ertz got yoinked from broadcasting immediately after she said “dottir” means son in Icelandic That’s some great lore

Monday before a holiday mood LET’S GO!!!

Very glad, for the millionth time, that I don’t give a shit about the NFL MAGA suckup, military-recruiting ass, sports betting, abuse covering up, patronizing, protect-the-shield bullshit Yuck it up, dipshits

January 1981 was a very long time ago Here are some 1981 things: The Cannonball Run is released Dynasty premiers on ABC The Tide is High by Blondie is #1 Jimmy Carter’s last days as President Cosmos by Carl Sagan is bestseller and, Chuck Schumer’s first day in Congress It’s time, man

I imagine Trump calling a football game would very quickly turn into a Jimmy the Greek situation And you gotta be a certain age to even get that reference, so here… www.washingtonpost.com/archive/poli...

The ONLY reason the Commanders are losing to the Lions is because Trump was in the stadium And they suck But mainly the Trump thing

You’re telling me toast scored these points?

One good thing about playing the KC Current at Audi is that I get to boo when Vlatko is introduced

Portland beat us in Portland 2-0 And we beat Portland at Audi 2-1 Should be a good semifinal if that’s how this PDX SD game ends up

Just opened the Ring camera app instead of turning my head slightly to the left, if you’re wondering about my energy level

For longer than I’d like to admit, I had no idea what BAONPDX meant and just pronounced it “Bow on PDX” Anyway, this game sloppy

Samantha Grace Coffey is enjoying herself too much out there

Okay, I’ve decided who I’m rooting for But I won’t tell *tucks shirt in*

PURE NWSL CHAOS!!!!

So Gotham and KC fans Who is more nervous the longer this drags on? #NWSL

WASHINGTON SPIRIT WHAT DID I SAY?? 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Racing Louisville fans behind me are impressed with the Spirit’s organization - feeling lucky to still be in it - loving the Rowdy Audi atmosphere

Washington Spirit Playoff day, so you know what that means… That’s right, Barry Svrluga will write a piece in the Post about how the 1-8 Wizards, 7-6-1 Capitals, and 3-6 Commanders leave him with absolutely no hope for any Washington sports team None My one-sided feud continues

Mr Beast working with Saudi Arabia brings us one step closer to real-life Squid Game

Looking forward to a nice, calm 3-0 Spirit win today 3-1 would be okay too

GOOD MORNING!!! IT’S A WASHINGTON SPIRIT PLAYOFF GAME DAY!! 🎉 🎊 LET’S GET AT IT, ROWDY AUDI!!!

Remember that one time Elon Musk said he would eliminate hunger and then was like “nah” Now he gets a trillion dollars 👍

My attention span is okay but if you start a countdown from 10, I am out

Reading 1984 and got to the Goldstein book part about creating forever wars to use up production so it isn’t used to improve quality of life, thereby threatening the rule of the few, and hoo boy does that seem relevant

The verdict is good and all, but I think we know how it would’ve ended if Sub Guy had put peperoncini on there

I love Instagram clickbait like “NOBODY REMEMBERS THESE HOLLYWOOD STARS!!” and it’s, like, Molly Ringwald

I still don’t think you guys understand how much one trillion is, he said tediously

Have you noticed we haven’t seen much of Linda McMahon since she confused AI with a steak sauce?

FUCK YOU, DOCTOR OZ!! TACO BELL BAJA BLAST PIE!!! *Elmo Fire GIF*

Who is your favorite VAMPIRE? 🧛

Think how much better the world would be if young men watched Chicken Shop Date instead of anything in the “manosphere” First off, chicken Second, adorable Third, they might learn how to open up and be flirty without being creepy strange boys who might stalk you Fourth, chicken

Oh good Another Avatar movie 😐

Watching The Death of Stalin For no particular reason whatsoever 😐

I’ll bet the Subway Slinger’s jurors were hefting their sandwiches during lunch and pretending to throw them at each other Hey, look out! 🥪🫔🍔🌭🌮 Ahh you got me!

BABIES CAN’T VOTE, MEHMET!

Jeanine Pirro seems very bad at her job

I’m bringing sexy back but it’s just me Jesus Christ I’m tired

Sandwich guy got acquitted? Join the Club 😐

Guys, I need to go to CVS anyone need anything?

My wife got Sambas and I was really jealous so I FINALLY got my own and if you want to see how cool they look, just go up to the guy in Sambas at Saturday’s Spirit game at Audi That’ll definitely be me

I want everyone in the world to get into women’s soccer, especially the NWSL, but who will teach the newbies the lore? Oh no It’s not me, is it? #woso

I wonder if anyone’s ever brought a black light into the Tardis

CNN girl what are you doing?

oh good another Manning 😐

I like how DoorDash is like “your order is $82.55 - you saved $7.25!!” my guy, it’s two sandwiches and drinks, not a mortgage