one thing about me is no you

internal server error is something i could worship, it’s very refreshing and i’d gladly give cache

Skipped a rock and it's still going, just bouncing across the surface of the water, around the globe, up rivers and back down again, and then one far distant day you'll walk back to the water's edge, hold out a hand, and the rock'll pop right back into it.

*billionaire living out the collapse and burning of all society and culture in a multilevel underground bunker with his wife who hates him and 4000 year stockpile of food* ah haaaa I'VE WON!

What the fuck is this: 🫪 ?

When a shiver goes down your spine it's bc somebody hid your post on bloosk 😱 (not me I muted you)

tbh when I first read 'burned haystack dating method' I thought, I'll probably stick with waxing

(forgetting the word thirsty) I’m horny for some water.

NO. And send.

This is quite an interesting read for any woman still using dating apps and having to wade through the flotsam tinyurl.com/35ytpya5

They are only colors and shapes perceived by my eyes but my brain recognizes them as things and people I love.

googling what are some things i might like

But have you tried having an infinitely large heart on an infinitesimally small budget?

You have to subscribe to Bluesky+ to see pics in the app now

My wife is pissed off because she's just found out I'm five apples tall and not five and a half apples tall as I may have previously claimed.

Number of days since my last Olivia-post: 0 days

You are my favourite quote from a book I haven't read.

Goodbye, bluewave bots that follow me every time my pinned post gets reskeeted bc it contains the word "relea$e" & your algo thinks it refers to the "f1les"... see you again soon 🫡

This suburban dad became a warlock using this one weird trick and the Council of Witchcraft hates him for it!

(me, not understanding a ddos attack on bsky): why don't the hackers just sign up for an account, they're free 🤷‍♀️

Pharrell vs Jamiroquai in a hat-off The winner to represent earth in an interplanetary version of eurovision, but with hats. Hat.

Who wins in a fight between snap, crackle & pop and bell, biv, devoe? (bra & panties rules)

If you ask for extra spicy at Panda Express do they serve you red pandas or just the regular b&w ones with Szechuan sauce on them?

(marketing team meeting on board the Independence Day alien spaceships): "what if we called it The Improvement Beam?"

Being pressured by the local youths to eat a bug.

i got that whatever in me. it's not a dog but some other thing. a rat maybe

Careful, that’s my load bearing delusion

good morning, time to make sure your teeth are clean and your claws are sharpened

Judging by the flotsam and jetsam it looks like i got home last night by gravitational wave

i’m a giant, head in the sky. as the earth turns, i chase the sun. #poetrysky

I'm like if a girl was the inventory warning "you are over encumbered" but for mental illness

Can I ask y’all some weird questions and y’all won’t judge me?

Hit “subscribe to email” just to feel something* *molten, primordial rage

At this point I am not watching Euphoria out of spite.

i remember when all this used to be nothing, now it’s everything with spherical bastards

can i be a bitch for a second? graham platner's features are too round. man is all circles and it freaks me out

Always tell your dog "I'll be back soon" when leaving or they'll freak out bc how else would they know you're coming back

Noel Gallagher is the celebrity who most looks like a muppet that has come to life

If I suddenly stop posting then this fluttery feeling in my chest was unrelated to the new stable boy

This is the perfect time of night to secretly promote your mixtape.

think I am in a good mood today because I get to run down the hill now

Some of you are not getting tipsy in the club, and it shows

I might pay a penny for your thoughts, but my two cents are going to cost twice as much.

i’m not saying my roomba, vincent, has become sentient, but i do think it’s interesting that on three separate occasions he has herded my asshole cat into my closet and trapped her there

The air feels like it’s about to explode and it is.

'There will be blood' is a good name for a chain of no nonsense pharmacies

'Studios preview their NEW films' We have an avengers movie, another top gun, another dune, another jumanji, another meet the parents an AI val kilmer bc he died & a "making of" rocky. The only new thing is The Odyssey which is 3000 years old. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Please... I'm just a pretty girl I need my pictures of pizza & the blue chits of validation

repair and maintenance around here is a guy named rusty