trying to clean up my online presence, so please stop reposting stuff about my lesbian, weed smoking, whoring days and ways

I'm all man, baby. Or am I all man-baby?

silence the bugs would like to talk. 🐜🦗🪲🦟🪳🪰🐝🐞🦋🐛 ok u guys can talk now

Doom is absolutely the best thing to harbinge.

(not measuring my food) I’m naughty

Me, from the trunk of your car: Are you mad at me?

I cannot stop singing Roomba to the tune of mmmbop and now you must do it too

The sexiest selfie thing is a trap

(tanning my stretch marks) I’m a tiger

Yes, I deleted that twice. (seductively)

some of you need to stop healing and start acting normal

me: (posting) hello person who i have never interacted with: (replying) a polite greeting killed my father you son of a bitch

Doing shots of maple syrup over here

drawing a map of the still firing neural pathways in my brain with a box of 8 pack jumbo crayons because this should not take too long

Might sit around in expensive underwear, pouting and smoke a cigarette about it.

When I block you for saying something mean about the French, I also shrug and make a little pfff noise.

I am in love with somebody. There is a non-zero chance that it is you. Congrats or sorry that happened

Everything I know about the double touch before the hog line, I learned against my will

I have never been normal about a thing in my life and I refuse to start now.

any bread can be French bread if you make out with it Happy Thirsty Thursday to all who participate! 😜

Hm, no. I've seen all these skeets. Bring me new ones

Men will literally pretend BBQing is some sort of science rather than learn where the clit is.

No notifications? The internet must be dead.

I added a couple of dinos to this thrift store painting. By the way, what's YOUR favorite dinosaur?

mind control doesn’t bother me, it will come out in the next brainwash

Number of days since my last Olivia-post: 0 days

Proximity warning leg shaving complete The Harvest will now commence

horse

Always failing a test I never agreed to take

what if i make a ridiculous major life change as a bit?

What is the german word for the cuddle space you make for me by raising your arm and letting me rest my head on your chest?

Gonna be a spin instructor and yell the lyrics thru my headset instead of going to therapy

We are but star dust, And to dust we shall return, Make it worth the ride. #Photography #Haiku

i got kicked out of wench school when they spotted my cleavage was actually 2 skinless rotisserie chickens

Life, much like civ 5, ceases to be a challenge once you research artillery.

Have you tried sharing some memes about it?

Raining on the trail tomorrow. So I’ll be trying a spin class. If this is my last post, know I didn’t make it.

When Olivia Rodrigo evolves into her final form she will be soooo powerful

Taco Bell has the most vulval menu. #SponsorablePost

In horse talk horse every horse other horse word horse is horse.

Thriving* * rubbing crystalised sugar from the corners of my mouth with the back of my hand & accidentally showering you with small, damp pieces of chewed donut as I sing "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me", badly out of tune, whilst wearing the same pyjamas for a fourth day in a row

I’m tired of spiders thinking they can go anywhere they want! Show me your papers!

Number of days since my last Olivia-post: 0 days

tryna try

A looney toons ski jump event at the winter olympics where they take off, stop in mid air, look down, peddle their legs frantically and then pull out a sign saying "help" before plummeting to the ground.

there was a memory lapse earlier but I couldn't tell but I think there may of been some kind of memory lapse

Choosing to be an unreliable narrator to keep them guessing.

If you see something (cake) say something (mmmn... cake)

Defile my sanctuary.

Netflix n rabies?