Första dagen på praktiken på neonatalavdelningen klar! Älskar det redan.

Take that thought and shave it down...wax it... laser it...bare bones it

Maybe I’m just 3 fictional characters in a trench coat, you don’t know.

Ruin Christmas for giant corporations by making 26 December the new Black Friday this year.

Disappointment isn't fatal, just feels that way sometimes.

I’m a big hit with accounts without a single post. Not one.

I'd end my Jedi training early for you.

If I drop a banger, I’m counting on you to pick it up. Can you handle that responsibility?

Can’t, I’m being crushed under the weight of my own expectations.

You can only call yourself a true fan when you admit - even just to yourself - that that one song is really crap.

But, do you love me when you say nothing at all?

I've always just assumed I'd be burned at the stake

Så, någon ska bli farmor igen nästa år!! Till ännu en liten amason 😭❤️🥰

I told you so. Sincerely, Your instincts.

Hey! Calling all Wonder Women! We all are sisters…pulling together with one spirit. 50 years ago today the first episode of the series Wonder Woman aired.

Today would be a great day for some sort of sign that I’m not completely delusional and it's not all in my head.

There are some things you just can't set aside.

Some days, I just want to jump on a train and disappear and today is one of those days.

You don't realise how dull your life is until someone asks what your hobbies are.

Jag har nu besegrat influensan och hostan från helvetet och druckit min första kopp kaffe på 10 dagar.

I don’t like to brag, but I’m getting pretty good at mental illness.

Rather fed up with your nonsense

coyotes are feeling it

Jag tittar på alla er som röstar till höger. Det här är ert fel!

I keep myself in surprisingly good health for someone that longs for the void.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to share my comfy crypt with me.

There’s gonna be a Mummy 4 with darling Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and omg I’m gonna cry now 😭🫠

True News: Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz are back for THE MUMMY 4 with Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett from Radio Silence (Scream, Ready or Not) directing the brand new installment in the '90s action-adventure-horror franchise!

i want to brush the other bones in my body. not just my teeth.

Det finns många analyser att göra för varför Mamdani vann. Men jag tror att man inte ska glömma bort styrkan i att bara en ganska normal person i en värld av fasansfulla freaks.

did you know you can just like, forgive yourself? all that shit you punish yourself over and over for, you don’t have to do that you can set it down and walk away and breathe deep for the first time in decades

I don’t have any answers, but I do have a few good questions.

"Any last words?" "SHORT-LIVED RHYMES WITH ARRIVED. AND THERE ARE TWO SYLLABLES IN ALLEGED."

oh baby have I got quirks

we all just want someone who gets us without having to Google our movie references

My demons got the flu too now so there’s a lot of hissing and cursing going on in the crypt today.

I long for the days when I could make it 1, maybe 2, or even 3 days without receiving an email.

Even Dr Lecter gets his grub at the chippy sometimes

I guess the therapy worked, my boobs seem to be a bit perkier recently?

My jowls are especially radiant this morning.

exhausted🖤

Simona Valfläsksson Fyraprocentsson Populistsson Batongliberalsson

I just want to point out that I've never picked up an item in a store, then when there's no price on it say "it must be FREE!" to the cashier. You're welcome 😊

cutting a wheel of cheese with a battle axe

But your honor, he said that I look amazing for my age?

you know what i would actually believe that there are racists on x: the everything app without you screenshotting them

sorry I’m late, I was playing Drug Wars on my TI-82

Gud drömde en så sjuk mardröm, jag drömde att svenska polisen skulle börja producera AI-genererad barnporr. Vilka sjuka saker hjärnan kan hitta på!

Börjar nog kunna se mig som en undersköterska nu, gjorde typ en liten fallbeskrivning av mig själv utan att tänka på det när jag ringde vårdcentralen om sjukintyg.