What's your favorite sport? 1. extreme lounging 2. reading marathon 3. speed drinking 4. freestyle sleeping

There is still beauty in the world if you know where to look. The first flowers of the year peaking through the earth, or the deep red gleam in the eyes of Mothman as he surprises you in the alley behind the kebab shoppe.

Mix & Match: Which cryptid would be best at which Winter Olympic sport? 1. Mothman A. Ski Jump 2. Bigfoot B. Biathlon 3. Loch Ness Monster C. Ice Dancing 4. Cthulhu D. Consuming the world in darkness

Life is about choices. You could watch some grown men smash into each other on a big field, or you could find the ragged edge of town, disappear into a malevolent fog, and become a new wandering legend of the wildlands. It's up to you.

We're all trying to get by, in our own way. And if your way involves ancient books of magic, dark spirits, and secret meetings with the old gods in the forgotten end of the forest, so much the better.

Your daily affirmation: You can be anything you want to be, including one of the ancient cosmic horrors who slumber inside stars, wrapped in tentacles and dreams.

I love sports. My favorite sport is watching townsfolk flee from the Baba Yaga's cottage as it lurches about on giant chicken legs, wreathed in Eldritch smoke and madness.

Good night, friends. May the darkness wrap around you like a blanket, may the stars shine upon your path, and may the gothic mansion you flee to in a storm only be as haunted as you want it to be.

Choose your weapon: 1. cartoonishly large axe 2. jetpack flamethrower 3. sharks with frickin' lasers 4. army of the dead

Things to do this weekend besides watching football: -help out in your community - manage your mind goblins - build a wizard tower out of books - nap for 1,000 years - investigate Pi until you get to the weird stuff - investigate pie

Today is a good day for self care. The groceries and laundry can wait. Try out a new hobby, like haunting the attic of a mansion on the moors, or disappearing into a malevolent fog and becoming your own terrifying folk tale.

Life advice: - be kind to service workers & tip well - don't curse the moon, because it can hear you - learn enough black magic to cause some gentle mischief - be the mossy forest horror you want to see in the world

Your daily fortune: Be brave. Be yourself. And eat burritos like nobody is watching.

Choose your weapon: 1. cartoonishly large axe 2. jetpack flamethrower 3. sharks with frickin' lasers 4. army of the dead

Do you ever feel like you missed your calling, and were meant to be touring the countryside in a motorcycle & sidecar with your well dressed badger best friend, solving minor mysteries and enjoying tea & adventure?

Relaxation tips: - take a deep breath - put down your phone - find a sinister fog in the forest - enter the fog and let it enter you, until you become one - travel the wildlands with the other fog spirits, spreading fear & wonder in equal measure - have some tea

Life is about finding balance. For every hour you spend chasing hikers from the forest with the dark grandeur of your shambling form, spend an equal amount of time using the dark grandeur of your shambling form to chase hikers from the forest. It's that simple.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the only one stopping you from having an owl on your shoulder, a cursed amulet that collects souls, and the antlered crown of a long dead forest god is you.

Your daily fortune: Folks who are truly rich do not hoard wealth, but the knowledge and experience that comes from reading books and eating burritos.

What forest spirit best matches your mood? 1. gently mad moss goblin 2. frazzled bramble witch 3. ancient weird log 4. dark duck of doom

I hope you have a nice night. I hope you look at the stars with wonder. I hope you're never lost in the catacombs without a lantern. I hope you're always able to find room for one more book on your bookshelves. I hope you feel at home in the forest, because you're always welcome there.

We're all trying to get by, in our own way. And if your way involves books, strong tea, and secret meetings with the old gods in the mossy end of the forest, so much the better.

Which monster parts would you like to grow? 1. wildflower encrusted antlers 2. weird mossy lumps 3. writhing cosmic tentacles 4. weathered black wings

Your daily fortune: Like a puzzle piece, you are one of many, but without you the picture is incomplete.

Health & Safety Warning! Side effects of reading this account may include measurable moss growth, burgeoning antlers, and missing time spent shambling in the gloom.

Parents, have you talked to your kids about the dangers of the old forest? The seductive lure of mossy forgotten tombs wreathed in dark malevolence, and the ancient nameless horrors slumbering within?

Your daily fortune: The time to speak softly and carry a big stick is over. It's now time to speak loudly and carry a cartoonishly large mallet.

Which monster parts would you like to grow? 1. wildflower encrusted antlers 2. weird mossy lumps 3. writhing cosmic tentacles 4. weathered black wings

There are many ways to show someone you care. Be there for them. Craft matching swords and imbue them with old magic. Adventure through the wildlands together, searching for mossy forgotten tombs of the forest gods and the dark secrets hidden within.

What's hiding in the darkness of the old forest? 1. mystery & magic 2. monsters & mayhem 3. moss & madness 4. a darker darkness

Treat people with kindness. If that doesn't work, grab them with your talons, devour them with your toothy maw, and digest them slowly over the next thousand years, and see if that helps.

If you don't feel like yourself today, here are some disguises to wear out into the world: - potato wizard - librarian of darkness - underemployed rock bassist - landlocked sea witch - moss covered monstrosity

Remember, even on the darkest night, you can usually find a little light. It's usually the glowing eyes of an ancient god of the forest, leading lost travelers to their doom in the mossy gloom, but the sentiment remains.

Your daily fortune: Your future is not written in stone, my friends. It is written in butter, and it will be delicious.

What's hiding in the darkness of the old forest? 1. mystery & magic 2. monsters & mayhem 3. moss & madness 4. a darker darkness

I like your style. I like the way you move through the world with raggedy Muppet hair, smelling of stale coffee & dusty bookstores, and leaving a trail of confusion and small disappointments in your wake.

Show your loved ones you care. Show the neighborhood your kind weirdness. Show the world your dark determination. Show the forest your fangs and claws, and that you belong in the shadows.

Success can be measured in different ways. One such way is the number of books read and libraries visited in a lifetime.

Do you ever wish you could start over? Only this time you'd live in a mossy haunted cottage in the old forest and trade tea, used books, and stories of faraway lands with the wild folk of the wood?

Your daily fortune: Luck is equal parts preparation, hard work, cosmic weirdness, and dark fairy mischief.

What forest spirit best matches your mood? 1. wistful goat of woe 2. gnarled gnome of hope 3. cantankerous toad of doom 4. exhausted moss mound

Dear Martha, We were ill prepared for the darkness we have unleashed this day. The groundhog's shadow has breached the barricades and will soon engulf the town and countryside, and soon, I fear, will grow to consume the cosmos. Farewell my love.

How do you like to travel? 1. wandering ghost ship 2. interdimensional wormhole 3. Baba Yaga’s magic hut 4. hallucinogens

Apologies to Robert Frost, but sometimes when you take the road less traveled, you end up in thrall to an ancient mossy horror who slumbers in a deep pit in the dark heart of the forest. It can happen.

Your daily fortune: Like a pond in the forest, you are also murky and mysterious, and conceal both treasures and danger.

Books are not clutter. Clutter is all the other stuff that gets in the way of having more books.

Today's a good day to take care of yourself. Build a big pillow fort, crawl inside with books and tea, and call your boss to tell them you'll re-emerge after the next ice age.

Your daily fortune: You don't need to reinvent yourself. Just change a few parts, add some new programs and a fresh coat of paint, and get on with it.

How do you like to travel? 1. wandering ghost ship 2. interdimensional wormhole 3. Baba Yaga’s magic hut 4. hallucinogens

There are two types of people in the world: Those who would flee from a haunted mansion on the moors while wearing a fabulous gown, and those who would wander inside to investigate why there is a single candle illuminating the attic.