What's your vibe? 1. jaded retail clerk 2. underemployed rock bassist 3. witch of the wine aisle 4. sleepy old bear

We offer endless fun here at River Side Casino. It will never stop. You will have fun forever whether you like it or not.

Our days can be tiring, so save some energy for the important stuff, like reading books, brewing tea, and shapeshifting into a were-bear to protect the old forest.

One day, the old witch will return and lift the curse placed upon you. Your human form will crack open and some frazzled cats will emerge, hiss at her angrily, then slink off into the darkness.

Your daily affirmation: Today you will fight self-doubt and win. Later, you and your imposter syndrome will share some snacks and watch a movie.

What's your vibe? 1. jaded retail clerk 2. underemployed rock bassist 3. witch of the wine aisle 4. sleepy old bear

Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Don’t forget to rest. Don’t forget to read banned books. Don’t forget to dream. Don’t forget to become a terrifying legend that timid townsfolk whisper about in the dark.

What's your Spring look? 1. pollen zombie 2. pale sea witch 3. frazzled garden gnome 4. feral forest Muppet

Do you like spending time by the sea, perhaps for eternity? Follow these simple steps: - find a charming village on the coast - marry a wealthy Victorian whaling captain who owns a crumbling cliffside castle - become a widow - become a ghost Success!

Someday when this is all over, our atoms will lose cohesion and drift apart, and that's ok. They'll combine with other atoms to form new gnarled oaks, fainting goats, and haunted cottages that float through the woods, wreathed in moss & gloom.

It's ok to be yourself, and it's ok to not feel ok. It's also ok to collect weird bones from the forest and create a terrifying tiara to wear to the market on a cheese run.

Your daily affirmation: Remember - You need authority to appoint others, but you never need anyone's permission to disappoint everyone.

Bear, Bath, & Beyond

What's your Spring look? 1. pollen zombie 2. pale sea witch 3. frazzled garden gnome 4. feral forest Muppet

We all have good days and bad days. But the days you can shamble through a mossy haunted forest or disappear into a deep fog that surrounds a mysterious coastal town are the best days of all.

Your daily affirmation: You can't please everyone all the time. There is a certain freedom in disappointing others.

Your daily horoscope: Worries are like weights holding you down. Drop them and flap off weirdly into the night like a bat creature of legend.

Don't hide your true self from the world. Set the creatures inside you free. The ones bristling with fangs and thorns, and wrapped in mossy darkness. Make the world hide from you.

I think I want what we all want - peace, love, warmth, and an enchanted cottage that floats through the night, trading used books and black market rum with the wild folk of the wood.

All new employees must answer 3 riddles from the troll who lives in the boiler room. If you fail all 3, you go directly into management.

Don't let anyone stand in your way. Don't let anyone tell you you're not amazing. Don't let anyone tell you can't become a powerful witch of the wildlands, the first ghost on the moon, or a tugboat captain with dark secrets and a heart of gold.

Your daily affirmation: Be as bold as you need to be. Be as wild as you want to be. And be as weird as you possibly can be.

What's your favorite kind of space? 1. Outer 2. Liminal 3. Open 4. Void

You are not alone. Even now, the twig witch is wandering the woods and thinking of you. She's planning your mossy and ultimately messy demise, that's true, but the sentiment remains.

You deserve happiness & nice things. You deserve enchanted slacks & some cool new boots. You deserve to share boozy milkshakes with the old forest gods at the abandoned drive-in movie theater off the highway. You know the one.

Your daily affirmation: I'm strong enough, I'm smart enough, and it’s ok if even ghosts tremble in my dark presence.

What's your favorite kind of space? 1. Outer 2. Liminal 3. Open 4. Void

Look into a mirror and what do you see? Darkness and a bookish melancholy? Some thorns & moss around the edges? A feral glint shining deep in your eyes? Good. You're on the right path.

What's holding you back in life? 1. lack of ambition 2. lack of wings 3. lack of dark magic 4. unchecked capitalism

Your daily affirmation: Being called strange is a badge of honor, but you can be stranger still. Don't hold back.

Don't let gloomy weather get you down. Enter a dense fog, lose yourself in mossy corridors and shadowy nooks, radiate your own darkness from within and envelop everything. You are the gloom.

There's nothing wrong with you, and you are not broken. The world that should offer us peace, warmth, boozy milkshakes, bright starry skies, and magic towers made of books is broken.

Your daily affirmation: Life is what you make it. So make art, make mischief, make boozy milkshakes, and make a commotion that everyone will remember.

What's holding you back in life? 1. lack of ambition 2. lack of wings 3. lack of dark magic 4. unchecked capitalism

Travel is a good way to expand your mind. It's also a good way to find weird bones in the forest and hidden portals to the faerie realm, where weird forest bones are the main currency.

Which fantastical realm could you thrive in? 1. Wonderland 2. Neverland 3. Narnia 4. Oz

Your daily fortune: Today you will fight self doubt and win. Later, you will have a stalemate with boredom, and lose a battle with ennui.

Help out in your community if you can. Grow a protective carapace if you can. Sharpen your antlers with an enchanted dagger if you can. Disappear into a mysterious fog once in a while and finally get some peace & quiet if you can. Fix Bluesky if you can.

Choose kindness. Choose love. Choose the good kind of mischief. Choose secret libraries with rolling ladders. Choose mysterious meetings with the old gods at the dark end of the forest.

Your daily affirmation: You are stronger than you think. Your ancestors used to take down giant mammoths with nothing but their wits and a sharp stick.

Which fantastical realm could you thrive in? 1. Wonderland 2. Neverland 3. Narnia 4. Oz

When thunder roars, head indoors. When lightning strikes, don't fly kites. When rain falls down, it's time to clown. When the earth quakes, it's time to get baked. If all this is forecast for tomorrow, gently drink away your sorrows.

Who do you aspire to be? 1. author of ill repute 2. witch of the wildlands 3. human/cat hybrid 4. myself, but less sleepy

Help wanted: The forest needs someone to skulk through the shadows. The moors need someone to wander through the mists. The gothic mansion needs someone to haunt the hallways. The crumbling castle needs someone to creep through the catacombs. Apply today!

Most doctors agree on a simple plan for life: - get plenty of sleep - drink plenty of water - protect your skin with moss & lichens - use only wild & sustainable magic - avoid foods offered by weird fairies in the forest unless you wish to join them in their immortal realm

Your daily affirmation: Life is what you make it. So make art, make mischief, make a joyful mess and get on with it.

Some people hear the call of the wild, but the only call I respond to is the call of the mild, which includes hiding in a pillow fort with books & tea.

Your daily affirmation: Humans are simply animals like all the rest. Don't be afraid to show your fangs and use your claws once in a while.

Who do you aspire to be? 1. author of ill repute 2. witch of the wildlands 3. human/cat hybrid 4. myself, but less sleepy

Things to do if you're stuck inside by inclement weather: - crochet - dust off your Ouija Board and summon a party demon - crochet two hats, one for you and one for your new best friend the party demon