Waiter: What dressing would you like on your salad? Me: Ice cream

Today I’ll be hiding under the blankets and calling that productivity.

No disrespect, but plenty of indifference.

When we set conditions for happiness, we set conditions for unhappiness.

nah, I know who my people are, thanks

Morning.

Reading is not for the faint-hearted.

Deeply concerning if literal: Last Christmas I gave you my heart.

Her: Your profile said you were a special kind of dom. Me: Boredom.

if social media has taught me anything... i’m unaware of it

One thing I learned this year is that I’m exceptional at absolutely ruining my life.

Why I’ll never be in a Christmas rom-com: - Not Hallmark hot - Too old to accidentally fall in love and convince an audience - I don't own a bakery, café, or struggling small business - Snow, cold, ice are all hard passes

Toad sat and did nothing. Frog sat with him.

The simple, quiet romance of “Do you want to listen to this album with me?”

How it works, amirite?

why can’t i mute myself 🫩

That Beach Boys song “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” Except it wouldn’t, and you know it so you don’t bother asking.

logging in for my fix of surface level connections

the axis of the universe —love E. E. Cummings

might fuck around and drink a hemlock tea, just to feel nothing

This world needs more sweet and soft souls

To whoever bought me these bot followers for Christmas: Please stop. I'm allergic.

Morning.

No, thanks, but I finished my mini breakdown a few hours ago. I couldn't possibly fit another in right now. Wrap it up to go please.

How the Grinch followed you then unfollowed you as soon as you followed him back

Some words are measured by intention, not by reach.

hope wrapped in willingness

bluesky is not boring! in my timeline this morning alone there were 8 separate posts about soup, and like, all different kinds

Man, this weekend sucks

To learn, one must live. The Midnight Library, Haig

Donating my body to seance.

How awesome! [And please can this still be here till the 23rd.]

*watching the grinch* "I can fix him"

I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.

I post mid because all I can think about is you, please respond

Come, poor remains of friends, rest on this rock.

Solar Opposites has been added to Netflix and is well worth your time. Contains one of the darkest jokes I’ve heard in ages and there’s a secondary story that would be treated as a one-episode arc which lasts for many episodes and is wildly entertaining

Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less: You’re safe here.

every day i try to be the best version of myself until someone upsets me and then i try to be the worst

Shhh! I'm trying to keep my mouth shut.

My 2026 motto ? More Charles Bukowski please, less Shakespeare.