Sangria has juice in it so it's technically a breakfast beverage.

Mentally I'm already in bed.

Laughing at my pinned skeet. Feeling exactly that: not good enough or too much, but having a real hard time saying fuck you.

you guys, i think she wrote about more than murder

The subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between dreams and reality.

My favourite fantasy is quietly quitting my life, starting over somewhere new, and not trying to repeat all my mistakes under a prettier sky.

the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world there was a happily ever after

Did the New York Times ruin journalism?

Today would be a great day for some sort of sign that I’m not completely delusional and it's not all in my head.

This may sound petty, but I won't back down.

Life’s not that deep and yet here I am drowning

Morning.

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a heated argument between warring factions.

Not being able to think of a skeet isn't writers block. It's a sign from above

I brought sexy back and I want a full refund.

Explain a film plot badly: Big boat has water problem, couple does dramatic posing, lots of people discover they can't swim.

When I say “you’re so annoying” I actually mean “I would die for you”

Normally I can read people really well, except that one person I actually want to understand.

It’s called a moment of truth because that’s all the truth you’ll ever get from some people.

I've lived long enough to know when it's time to just let the tears fall.

I’m on emotional airplane mode until further notice.

Due to inflation, Dire Straits is re-recording “Money for Nothing” as “Nothing for Money.”

I am not afraid of dead people, I am afraid of living ones.

Some connections should come with a progress bar. Like 67% complete, 4 hours remaining.

It’s coming close to that magical time of year when I can correct everyone’s A Christmas Carol mistakes.

do you ever feel out of step with reality. like your perception is lagging behind a few milliseconds. haha me neither

Me: The unexamined life is not worth living. Also me: Asks AI if I’m happy.

Morning.

Teaching my body to embrace dehydration, one migraine at a time

I trust pigeons more than people. When they crap on you, they don’t pretend it’s love.

gonna change my name to s. o. terrick and start telling fortunes at local gas stations

Reading about Bluesky's new "Dislike" algorithm

White and red wine pairs well with different foods but both pair well with difficult relatives and annoying neighbors.

Wait. Was it the holiday post?

You wouldn't like me, I post with the whole, uncensored version of the word fuck.

"They stood close enough for truth, yet each clung to their doubt as if it were safety." ~ Leo Tolstoy, probably

exhausted🖤

That’s such a French thing to do

If my brain had subtitles, it would be the words: dogs barking in the distance.

I would like to protest against Christmas's illegal occupation of November.

When autocorrect wants to help and changes 'I dare you' into 'I date you'

me, drunk: you ever held something beautiful in your hands and known that it will eventually die? friend: can i have my Tamagotchi back?

A movie you've seen more than 7 times with a GIF

Don’t talk to me, I’m hope-scrolling

It’s funny how silence can sound exactly like someone’s thoughts. And I like what they're saying.