Rebecca
@cheeky-gal.bsky.social
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📥 85
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New to Bluesky— Been on Twitter since 2014
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Thinking back, Little Red Riding Hood saw a wolf in a nightgown and still said, “Grandma?”
about 7 hours ago
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Gian D’Oh
about 6 hours ago
I’m cool with No Nut November as long as it’s followed by Cummy Christmas and Jizzy January
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Sometimes, I show up to kids’ soccer practice with a cane and act like the town elder delivering bad news.
about 3 hours ago
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Brian
11 months ago
Things I'm good at on Bluesky: liking and re-posting Skeets. Skeets from myself: not so much.
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Uffdafuckingda
about 4 hours ago
I’ve learned that if grandma laughs, I probably shouldn’t have said it.
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Lisa Singletary (not a 🐿️)
about 4 hours ago
An app that lets you block phone notifications from a crush you're trying to get over if the post is too adorable
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los 🦦
8 months ago
I can’t poop with a hat on.
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Daisy
9 months ago
I’m at my most badass when I pick up stuffed animals in stores that have fallen on the ground and put them back with their friends.
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Deeks 🫶
about 1 month ago
This is not an inspirational account. Punch someone if you need to
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Kristin Myrtle
27 days ago
Karen Carpenter wasn't even real guys. She was just a piece of gossamer, she was a fragrant phantom, a piece of delicate fabric stitched together from all our silly hopes and dreams of the 70s. She was too precious for this world
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Theciscokidder
about 5 hours ago
Everybody is so desperate for that interstellar comet to be an alien ship, what if it's just cake?
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AnnaAnkaAnia
5 days ago
I am not afraid of dead people, I am afraid of living ones.
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Cricket
about 8 hours ago
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea because I’m actually not tea at all I’m a shot of patron on an empty stomach
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Stace Fiction
6 days ago
[Catholic church] *priest hands out "What To Expect At Your Exorcism" Husband: Babe, this isn't counseling Me: You said you'd try anything
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Jenny Doesn’t Know
about 5 hours ago
A couple of regulars came in with a friend. That friend looked like Brad Pitt in “Legends of the Fall.” I told him, “you’re too beautiful, get the fuck out of here.”
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Stace Fiction
about 9 hours ago
I’ve spent more than 10,000 hours in posting & I still haven’t mastered shit.
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Thinking back, Little Red Riding Hood saw a wolf in a nightgown and still said, “Grandma?”
about 7 hours ago
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Every day I wake up and choose to make things harder than they need to be.
about 9 hours ago
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
about 9 hours ago
When I was a boy we had to invent snow before we could walk ten miles through it to get to school.
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WineMummy
about 9 hours ago
Welcome to your 40s. You now pull a muscle when you stretch.
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Jake_Vig
about 9 hours ago
Dear Mike Johnson: Keep digging. It's working great.
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90s kids didn’t go to therapy. We just yelled “INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE” and kept it moving.
1 day ago
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Frovo
3 days ago
ME: wow it gets dark so early now MY UBER PASSENGER: please open your eyes
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I respect General Hospital because they don’t even pretend to know what year it is anymore.
3 days ago
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WineMummy
3 days ago
Inside me there are two wolves and they are both assholes.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
7 days ago
Why can't we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
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Ashley
6 days ago
Do vampires go bobbing for Adam’s apples?
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
3 days ago
Chaos is my favourite word that's spelled like it means it.
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Jake_Vig
3 days ago
It never ceases to amaze me
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Hollie Harris
4 days ago
Looking forward to my annual "Why is it so dark already? What time is it? It feels like midnight at 5:00 p.m.!" rant that the end of daylight savings brings.
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mom mom mom mom mom
4 days ago
One day I will be able to wash a ladle and not spray water all over myself but today is not that day.
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November’s only been here five minutes and it’s already too November.
3 days ago
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I’ll never enjoy the holidays as much as Mariah Carey does, and I’m okay with that.
3 days ago
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My mother waited, her mother waited, her mother’s mother waited until after Thanksgiving to decorate. I broke tradition with a strand of Christmas lights.
3 days ago
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Jake_Vig
4 days ago
In retrospect, it is not great to have mountains of candy just laying around the house.
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🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪
4 days ago
Diving into some of the weirdest freaks I’ve ever looked at, British Royal Family Guys
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MadHatterMommy
4 days ago
Bro, I know babies that create better content in their diapers than you do on your social media.
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Every October, I still look for the kid I used to be, running down the street in a plastic mask.
4 days ago
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Remember when the scariest part of Halloween was mom checking your candy?
4 days ago
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The weird sounds coming from the bedroom are just me trying on some jeans.
4 days ago
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November’s only been here five minutes and it’s already too November.
4 days ago
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[Tinder] Jason Voorhees, 79 · 𝟣 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪 ᴄᴀᴍᴘ ᴄʀʏsᴛᴀʟ ʟᴀᴋᴇ Strong, silent type with lakefront property. Loves long walks through the woods. • Interests: Machetes, camp counselors. ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀ: 𝔉𝔯𝔦𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝟏𝟑𝔱𝔥.
6 days ago
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Alicia
9 months ago
I’ll take some sunshine and laughter, to go.
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I told myself I’d be chill this Halloween. Then bought a fog machine and lost all control.
6 days ago
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PAM!
6 days ago
For Halloween I'm dressing up like a slutty middle aged woman in a sexless, loveless, completely non-communicative marriage. (puts on robe)
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g.c.
12 months ago
me: have i told you about the ti-- all my friends: YES!
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Patrick, Not Pat
8 days ago
If you plan to help out the hungry, do so without a camera.
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The Bearminator
15 days ago
Of course I live in the past, have you seen the present?
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Lori
13 days ago
Movie theater Me: pass the popcorn Monster under my seat: ya know…there's nothing wrong with going places alone
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Bogey
8 days ago
I don’t have any answers, but I do have a few good questions.
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DaddyJew
8 days ago
*drives 300 miles to see leaves that have already fallen* neat
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