I hope this fanfic never gets beta read

Dadirondack chair

The helmet-tap is too confusing as a ball/strike challenge mechanism because many batters go to their helmet often. I propose replacing it with the jerk-off motion. ⚾

*inarticulate squeeeeeing noises* I haven't seen this on a big screen since I was Film Committee Chair and showed it on campus in 19mumble mumble. It was our biggest moneymaker of the year!

Literally my response to any attempt at social plans

free invention idea: reusable shopping bags for squirrels who can’t manage more than a couple nuts in their cheeks at once

George Carlin would be living his best life rn annihilating these stupid shitbags

Is it folk horror or are there just Irish people present?

It's very stupid when guys say they can't find a girl, yet they ignore me. It's like saying you are hungry when there's a hot dog outside that can perfectly quote old tweets

Giving advice to someone: well yes I know this sounds exactly like my own situation but that doesn’t mean I should do the same thing

Wow, they do multiply fast! There was only one here yesterday.

My new nickname is, you guessed it, "Local Steam Railway."

My local steam railway runs a service called the Sausage Shuttle

It's Wrong Jacket Week in Chicago, we are celebrating the changing seasons by making sure that you are 100% always wearing the wrong jacket no matter what you do

You try to have a moment of connection, but... I get onto the elevator with 2 guys carrying clear blue 5 gallon water jugs. One heavily sets his down, then the other guy does the same. So I heavily set down my clear blue 32 oz water bottle. Nothing. they didn't even see it. In this tiny elevator.😔

I'm not the shrimp that fried this rice, I'm just the shrimp that stepped up.

What’s the big evolutionary advantage of tinnitus? Did my caveman ancestors do a better job watching for predators because they were always looking for the phantom mosquito buzzing in their ears?

Good morning

Blue sky’s got the juice.

If I was a vampire I would use eternal life to get caught up on all the tv shows I want to watch

I say this every day.

Action fans love him, but if you’ve seen the raging trailer for his new movie & you’re Furious Curious, I’m dropping a series of mini lists on The Action Desk to acquaint you with the stars of THE FURIOUS before it drops. It begins with: 3 Films Feat. Joe Taslim! news.rsclfilms.com/3-films-befo...

they should make red bull brand batteries that look like little cans of red bull. it would be stupid and everbody would be like gimme a break but they would also be secretly delighted to put little cans of red bull in their tv remote

Every AI article seems to include a sentence like: "The popularity of AI is soaring, with 2.5 billion people using [feature they can't turn off] monthly."

@finchinabq.bsky.social I'm in the middle of a 29 hour Wednesday, much of it in Aer Lingus economy, and it's still better than work!

I’m tired and “The Facts of Life” girls are all older than Mrs. Garrett.

Husb is on the board of a nonprofit that is funding clinics in Uganda impacted by the destruction of USAID. They had some pictures from their most recent vaccine clinic & seeing those parents, many who travelled a long way to protect their kids, made me detest anti vaxxers even more than usual

The Guinness harp is based on the 14th C. "Brian Boru" harp currently on view in the Trinity College library. It's been the symbol of Guinness since 1876.

Quarterly remind that this site will give you AI-free Google results and, extra bonus, no ads! It looks like Google results from 15 years ago. udm14.org

you're really starting to piss me off, your honor

um sir it's not dandruff, it's pixie dust ❤️

Paying for parking at a hospital really ties the whole American healthcare experience together.

You h̶a̶t̶e̶ love to see it!

my gf works corporate and is on a training about AI and there's a word cloud for "what do you use AI for." the largest word by far is "Nothing" and the trainer is PISSED

"Someone's getting relegated." - What me and @freerangemink.bsky.social say to each other, threateningly, after a week in Ireland.

Billion Dollar Idea: Single-use lens wipes that actually clean your lenses.

jazz is easy just call all your friends ‘cats’ and follow the melody

Hyperscalers will, by the end of 2027, have spent over $2 trillion on AI investments that have so far created at best around $100 billion of revenue between Amazon, Meta, Google and Microsoft. There is no avenue for this to pay off at the scale they need. www.wheresyoured.at/ai-is-too-expensive/

I took a few minutes of my lunch break to add my comment. The glaad site has some tips to maintain anonymity (which I did since I live in a mega hostile state - yay /s). Add your voice before Friday! 🔊

Adam motherfucking Schlesinger really was That Good.

STUDIO EXEC: we just need audiences to believe that the song is very popular within the That Thing You Do universe. WRITERS: got it, write the greatest song of all time. STUDIO EXEC: well obviously you can't actually write the- WRITERS: [EYES OBSIDIAN BLACK] THE GREATEST SONG OF ALL TIME

What's the best advice i could give graduates? Put sunscreen on your neck

just gazed narrowly thru the blinds at the neighbor with whom I am in an intense battle over whose garden contains the most local fauna

I referred to putting a condom on as installing a hardware antivirus and now my wife won't have sex with me.

When I was young, I used to roll my eyes when old people would say things like, “I’ve forgotten more than you’ve ever learned,” or, “I own socks that are older than you.” But it turns out that’s actually true. I HAVE forgotten more than you’ve ever learned! I DO own socks that are older than you! 

“Don’t be the person the A-Team has to take down for the good of the community using improvised weapons, quips, and the power of friendship” is such a low bar and yet. And yet.

Too many of you are following him which I'm going to assume is accidental as discussed below.

I’m calling on experienced birders for this flycatcher ID, specifically folks who are knowledgeable about Empids. Merlin app is saying this is a Yellow-bellied Flycatcher, while two experienced birders I asked at Magee Marsh thought maybe a Willow or Alder. If anyone wants to weigh-in, please do! 🪶