remember to treat your daughter like a princess (marry her off to a head of state to consolidate power)

If someone made an electric car with all modern safety features that looked like an 87 saab 900 I would buy it also needs a wooden steering wheel and wooden and leather interior

More people should do the actual reading of what people called the Nazis at the time, and one of, if not the, most common term for them was gangsters. This is exactly the right word to apply to the Trump regime and how people need to think about everything they do

I think there should be a rule against describing yourself as “punk” if your faction controls all three branches of government. Who exactly are you rebelling against?

Who let youth pastors start writing headlines

That's not punk. www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs_...

[my wife asking me who the mysterious fella menacing me from the shadows is] yeah, that's one of my rogues from my rogues gallery. just one of the guys I've been up against. ignore him.

No one will ever stop me from Parliamenting more Funkadelics.

You have chumbaed your last wumba

you’ve done violence to your last femme

alternately you must convince her that the problem is that she hasn't put herself on TV *enough*, the public is clamoring to see follow-ups to her sitdown with Erika Kirk. whenever Bari isn't on TV all the other anchors should be asking 'where's Bari'

not saying my eyesight was bad, but I got glasses today and just realized I live in California

I like to think every country has its own Crispin Glover.

Success is the best revenge. Or maybe arson. The point is, be vengeful

is it too much to ask to be thin enough to attract ghosts because I really don’t think any ghosts have the right to be snobbish about a potential pick-up

Gas generation down 40% in 12 months in the world's fourth largest economy! Wow!

You have rocketed from your last crypt.

Right after I took this it melted

You’ve twinned your last Aphex.

You’ve drop kicked your last Murphy.

Every few weeks the Supreme Court gathers to issue rulings that will, hopefully, land them in the sort of afterlife usually reserved for figures from Greek mythology.

If I were a director holding auditions, I would simply have the actors say “wherewithal, jocund, & morbid” & I’d have all the information I’d need.

Just tore open the wrapper to my candy bar & out flew 4 & 20 blackbirds

realizing that there’s not much but doom to be had via the onlines and kinda done w that vibe tbh

Again, “anti wokeness” is just a labor story, people love to pretend it’s something else, they just don’t like it when black people are in elite spaces that they think are white collective property

I never thought all the things I do that contribute to climate change would cause 𝘮𝘺 climate to change.

democrats who don’t take loud and firm stances in favor of the regulation if AI and prediction markets are leaving votes on the table. also easy ways to demonstrate your independence from SV billionaires www.semafor.com/article/06/2...

!!!

musk thinks he is more powerful than congress and he will be until they decide he isn’t, but once they decide he isn’t, that’s the ballgame for him

hate it when i accidentally copy-paste the wrong post from my secret Hitler account 😔

“Before the Iran War, none of Trump’s political allies would have dared speak out in this way. Trump would have crushed them. But now he’s wounded and his power is draining away. Once that happens it’s almost impossible to recapture it.”

Good morning

so much for A24

Well it's taken me 8 months but I've finally completed my Free 2 Week Time and Money Management Course. I'm extremely proud to say my final quiz results will be made available once I've entered my credit card details.

You miss 100% of the pools you don't reflect in

Algae is loving this news cycle. They’ve never been more relevant. Microzooplankton sitting at home changing the channel like, what about us? we even have cilia and pseudopods, this is bullshit.

if you are about to screenshot and post an entire screed from some blue-check mouthbreather on twitter please consider simply deleting your bluesky account instead

the people holding middle ground on AI can suck it

LET US FUCKING GO, MR B

bogwash: body wash for bog dwellers

The crazy thing is that for most of my life I would go ten, fifteen, sometimes even thirty minutes at a time without thinking about the Reflecting Pool.

me: i think cell C12 is missing the formula for the rest of that column ai agent: it sure is you clever bitch. have you been taking genius pills

antifa with a knife in the reflecting pool

Keep your fingers and toes away from the portal to Hell until you're ready to go through, Kevin.

that guy zuckerberg is a peeping tom weirdo, it defines every product he’s ever been involved with

Alan Greenspan has died, which is but a small first step in undoing the damage he and other central bankers of the era inflicted on the Republic.

all of those clearance dads have dents in them don’t bother

Here is a rather approachable essay on the subject just published.