Just destroyed my Chinese dinner. An act of wonton violence.

Played a ten minute game against someone who was not very good and decided to sacrifice all my pieces except my queen so this was the final position (they resigned)

I think it's finally time I get off the apps (Teams, Outlook)

Oh there's a massive Microsoft Exchange outage?? How will I get emails from my boss at 10pm to let everyone know he's working??

Forever my errand buddy

Honk louder I'm listening to Train's smash hit "Hey, Soul Sister"

Regardless of your location on this map: I hope you experience plowing over the weekend.

Pissing off a large majority of the American public is one thing, but pissing off Jamie Dimon is a whole other level.

I am not in any way handing it to ice storms, but I fondly remember the Christmas Eve Richmond ice storm of 1998 that knocked out power for a week. We played games & ran around outside & showered at Grandma’s & slept in the same room in sleeping bags and it was wonderful (at least in my memory)

I had a Saab 93 for my senior year of college that suddenly turned all the way off on interstate 64. The car was traveling at 80mph and just decided it was nap time. I put it in neutral, glided in the right lane until theexit which was miraculously downhill with a service station at the bottom.

Idk what is in the air but I am absolutely cooking at work today.

Who called it an award for your winter weather and not a precipitation trophy

Checking in on mom before the weekend.

I love that even facing a winter storm, where people here think they will be without power and water for weeks, there’s still Dasani left on the shelves.

Atlantasky How are the grocery stores looking?

Chat can I win this endgame without stalemating

I did not upgrade to Bluesky+ just to argue with idiots on here. I did it so I could have access to drafts, exclusive first looks at all my friends’ shitposts, and special enhanced muting for not just words but whole ideas that I don’t want to see.

Zohran Mamdani has been in charge for less than a month and Linda is demanding a portion of everything I'm eating even though she did NOTHING to earn it.

Ian Eagle is unleashing every champagne pun he has ever heard

Just accidentally liked a thirst trap from two months ago, so if anyone needs me I'll be dead.

Sometimes I see things like this and I'm reminded that there are humans who can do things like this while I have the core strength of a small toddler.

I have a meeting with my boss in seven hours. 😡

Once again after an Indiana national championship

The B1G and the ACC should just play a big tournament to determine the national champion next year.

I'm going to be so insufferable about the ACC if Miami drives down and wins the game.

If he runs a fake here I'll get his name tattooed on my neck

Well well well. It's gonna be a Mario Cristobal game winning drive.

I love the idea of Nick Saban wanting to wind down in retirement with ESPN and Miss Terry is like "Nick if you still want to be married to me you'll go do that VRBO commercial."

This game in Hard Rock has really been a gem.

Toney! Toney! Toney!

What a pick by the umpire there. Absolutely missed referee pass interference

I love that every cell phone commercial now takes place on a dusty country road.

Fernando Mendoza is such a team guy that he's gonna be peeing crimson later.

Oh my god they're inevitable.

Curt wyd with the timeouts bb

DOINK AND IN

The Secretary of State and the Secretary of Faith

Out here looking like Juan Harbaugh

Joining my fellow elder millennials in tiktok trends

Check out "Guitar George" He knows all the chords [George plays three chords]

This pic is giving "Just got out of a long-term relationship. Not looking for anything serious" vibes.

How long do I have to work today before I can designate it a floating holiday? I think three hours.

Does anyone want to talk about The Beast In Me because I have thoughts

after a brief foray into honest Indian vegetarian restaurant, I am back on my hashtag India bullshit

If Joe Buck says Jarrett Stidham one more time I'm going to lose my mind.

[Twisting every knob on the VCR to get scrambled cinemax to be clearer]

WHAT A DANG PUNT

Rule of Cool is in effect.

WHAT A CATCH HOLY HELL