cocaine helicopter tonight, king?

Thinking abt the 76 Montreal Olympics rainbow beaver.

gambling ads

so if you’re a Cavs fan at this game are you keeping the promotional shirt

honestly thrilled for the knicks & their fans

I keep catching myself having this feeling that surely this cannot stand.

I am rooting for the Montreal Canadiens because they come from the only city in North America that is ok at building new rail infrastructure

The Skyline every Friday:

once again tempted to just give the fuck up lol

if i ever get a local fucking boyfriend it’s over for you hoes. watch me disappear completely. ✌️

It's called the BOTTOM of the 9th because the Royals are playing like ass.

The signs put up indicating Royals' P Michael Wacha strikeouts are very good

Most home runs ever at Kauffman Stadium: T-1. George Brett - 136 **T-1. Salvador Perez - 136**

kids today don't even know any who songs with no CSI series on the air

we out here

I feel like the photographer could have gotten a little closer tbh

not asking for a lot 🥲

yeah i’d pay the extra for rush shipping 👀

this is the wettest salad that has ever existed

my favorite steak salad isn’t on the menu anymore. recession indicator :(

hit me with a ‘too skinny,’ i have officially won this war

My kid: “I got a pound of lead in Minecraft” Me: “What’s heavier a pound of lead or a pound of feathers?” My kid: “A pound of feathers…because you have to carry the weight of all those birds you killed.”

i know better than to confirm plans with my mother through texting. i know this. come the fuck on sass

time to get back to the old me

Cat ✔️ Strawberry ✔️ Shrimp ✔️

"prediction market" is such an utterly fucking insane euphemism for "gambling on anything" that it feels like it should be regulated out of existence

The people who sponsored the Mercator projection.

Me being rich and famous is "95% done." The remaining 5% is focussed on becoming rich or famous, then the other one

having lunch with my mom today but have a weird feeling i’m walking into an ambush.

Cetacean needed

not sure why “rawdogging” is now a word we use for common experiences like riding the bus or whatever, i do pretty much all that stuff without a condom on anyway

the things i would do to that man

Something good needs to happen

Putting the fellas on notice now. Let me know if you're willing to donate ties to our school. We just opened up a boutique in my building and some of these kids don't own any dress clothes.

pretty cool.

full octane for me only, thanks

/Kiwi Accent "Victor Wembanyama. Wemby."

Wemby: bon matin, mon chere Wemby’s girlfriend: hello Wembanyama

maybe i’ll pull some cards tonight. see what’s what

no i hate the fucking zoe t mobile commercials how dare you bring those back

avs fans in hell

RT to save a life

uh

Average bsky poster:

reskeet with a favorite picture of yourself

"we would like to send you notifications" is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me