This is true and I was the only one on set excited about it (and playing the song on my phone to blank stares)

Flying sober? Couldn't be me

Two sided DVDs always confused me as a kid. "Side A: Widescreen" actually meant the image for widescreen was encoded on other side of the disc. So if you want to play side A you have to have your machine read the side labeled B

You kids can't be inside all day playing videogames. Go outside and smoke some cigarettes

wow, sorry. Deleting now. I didn’t know she was French

Moms pretending to not know about game consoles to set up the surprise gift will always work for me. Mine did this to me with a series GBA and doubled down with it wrapped in like 8 boxes.

Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up. I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.

CHATGPT: wow George you’re absolutely right. $8,000 is a lot of money. Mary would be better off without you.

Yeah well my buddy already lost his job to artificial intelligence. He was an art thief.

Buy me the Jimmy Carter peanut scarf so I know it's real

“it is illegal for you not to like me”

Chalamet fans when Leo wins his second Oscar for One Battle After Another

Sex is like pork. If you really like it, you'll eat the butt

Apologies for not tweeting 200 times on Christmas Day, but it’s because I have a life outside of the internet, unlike Donald Trump

if you would like to tip your hostess (me), please feel free to do so! only if the spirit moves you lol 💋 v e n m o @ jjc245 c a s h a p p $ jjc2455

Merry Christmas everybody. Take care and I hope you all hear sleighbells in the snow

Polyamorous people be like “all I want for Christmas is Y’all”

all I want for christmas is for more people to realize Alien$ sucks shit

Tired: Die Hard is a Christmas movie Wired: John McTiernan is such a psychopath that he shot the inside of the helicopter AFTER the roof bombs go off so that you at home or in the theater can experience what it's like in that split second before an explosion vaporizes you

Me and who

Eartha Kitt really called Santa illiterate. "Sign your x on the line"

SCROOGE: you there, boy! what day is it? BOY: i don't know, i'm like six SCROOGE: well fuckin – can you ask someone

Dont worry, they are moving from the intersection of 70 and 435, to 435 and 70

Look like he got one of them Ed Edd n Eddy jawbreakers in his mouth 😂

It sounds like Waymo failed to program the vehicles to switch to stop sign mode in the event of a failed light? Every human driver has to learn this rule, and I don’t understand how the California DMV can possibly justify licensing any “driver” including an algorithm that doesn’t know this

“when the time comes, some people are just there to get knocked out” is some scorsese shit

This studio awards-season email is really matching the current mood in a way I’m not sure they intended.

Merry Christmas for the cats

"When you hang from a gibbet, for the sport of your own crows, we shall have peace" That's my 10 year old movie

Fix your hearts or die

God bless us etc

she let me hit because unlike her husband, i’m not deployed overseas

i was talking to shug on our morning walk, as you do, and we passed two hasids walking to morning minyan, and one said to the other in yiddish ‘the goyim talk to dogs like the rebbe talks to god.’ and look i’m not a goy and fuck you for entertaining the thought. however i must grudgingly admit: bars

An all time classic

You will be visited by three spirits.

You will be visited by three spirits.

You will be visited by three spirits.

With knowledge of colonial agrarian economies, you could impress a LOT of girls on here

Adventure, Coming of Age, Mockumentary, RomCom and Legal Drama. For me, the definitive version of each of those genres.

This entire weekend

It's fucking gross that the NFL is using the packers ownership structure in advertising. If the city of Buffalo wanted to buy their team they would laugh them out of the office

This season might be my fault. I wished on a monkey paw to not have Tony Romo as much