Mentally? I’m doing super.

Bro you look like you’ve been waiting all day for Sunday night

Smoking on that Air Quality Warning kush

At least the unable-to-tank-right Dolphins aren't failing to tank in a good QB draft year

Sorry to sound like blazed William Morris, but we should all get to experience some art every day so we are reminded of what’s noble and beautiful about us

Smoking dry flower like a peasant because my stupid modern vaporizer stopped vaporizing the special goo

America might be shitty, but at least it's expensive too

"The Chain" plays at increasing volume over a montage of me Swiffering my apartment

2:03am in Elsinore HAMLET: and how now, Horatio? HORATIO: Thou art good to drive, m’Lord

When you're facing a 3-8 team at home during rivalry week, you always want to only score 7 points in the first half

At this point using or promoting A.I. in the actually existing world almost always makes you a morally deficient person

A.I. this, A.I. that, have you ever listened to Schubert?

Setting a freezer-beer timer on my phone

It's 2047. The new governor-general of Post California is some guy named Uncle Juss Drankin, but you don't know that because the water relief camp doesn't have reliable wifi tonight

The last time I took a 50+ mg edible I woke up having written in my Notes app that "the fluids at H Mart aren't what they seem"

Feeling uneasy so I put on "Super Ape" to instantly chill the vibe

Society would probably be psychologically healthier if people still smoked cigarettes instead of curating our phone addictions

(explaining "Showgirls" to boys chat) OK so Cristal is the Drew Bledsoe here

From Stoppard’s Arcadia:

smokin on that umlaut

Average New Yorkër story: FAMOUS PERVERT RETURNS

Tim Robinson pointing dot jpeg

Someone posts about how Avatar didn't have a cultural impact, then people yell at them about how they liked Avatar, and the cycle continues. Nature is amazing!

Bro last night was a grimoire

Now this is a Guy

R.A. Dickey Pitcher Debut: 2001 - Retired: 2017 MIN - SEA - TEX - TOR - ATL - NYM

Tbh the most insidious effect of A.I. in my own courses (anecdotes only!) isn't on student writing, it's on their *reading* habits now that anyone can feed a PDF into an LLM and get a summary

All I want for Xmas is for It to Happen

In the parking lot circling / Screaming "I don't give a fuck!" / With my windows down and my system up

Polar Express has a creepy premise. Why would you get on that train?

/Getting chastised about sex stuff by Nicole Kidman in her camisole/underwear outfit from Eyes Wide Shut "Yeah, yeah, for sure, I hear you but I have to go rent a mask and robe thing. It's for sex-related reasons but not what you're talking about. It's way worse. But let's circle back."

I thought "Eddington" was mid when I saw it, but I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

Got a button in the middle make the trunk go ack-ack

When I forget a freezer beer

(Adam Curtis voiceover) But soon, a third beer would open

Fuuck, you guys--I accidentally made it so elites no longer think that universities are necessary for social and capital reproduction. My bad

American newspapers publish stories like "We Were Millionaires Till I Got Cancer" where the underlying theme is Well anyway good luck!

The University Formerly Known as Northwestern dot Com

Where are the Hoyt heads?

It’s so important for a successful NFL head coach to be 25% sociopathic

I worry that the Bears have the juice

BTW, any story about a possible Northwestern capitulation should include this detail (screenshot is from the oped linked below)

McKinsey consultant here: when you're dealing with the fumbling administration of a senile, unpopular old man, you don't have many strategic options actually

The No. 1 thing you can do in a city, for your neighbors, is lay on your car's horn for 6-8 seconds

Responsible adults should be able to purchase small giftable amounts of hard drugs during the holidays (any holiday)

Know that any time I reply "that's right" on here I am also saying aloud "that's right!"

Telling the strip club DJ to throw on that Dwight Yoakam Hillbilly Deluxe

Shoutout to my State Farm agent for always sending holiday *and* birthday cards despite my day being close to Xmas

Three-Beer Thanksgiving = no Black Friday hangover