The commercial with a (clearly fictional) Starbucks location in a generic Alpine village is unrealistic because if you tried giving an Italian Starbucks coffee they might immediately revert to fascism

suspending from figure skating for testing positive for a banned substance (limon-pepino Gatorade; too tasty)

Just another totally natural physique espousing the positive health benefits of milk.

I love exercising in jeans. Weightlifting, swimming, sitting in the sauna, using the fan bike––I do it all, but only if I'm wearing my favorite pair of 501s. That's why I have The World's Most Chafed Groin.

It's really been a benchmark year for KANGZ.

doing my signature move in Big Air called "Shrieking Little Bitch" where I go off the jump and shriek like a little bitch until I come to a stop as a mangled pile of flesh and bone

White people love to be named Mac Forehand

Golden retriever-ass behavior (complimentary)

This super sweet female young cat was found in Bushwick. She's currently staying on a terrace because the cats living in that house are not very friendly, and she is looking for either a foster or a forever home. If anyone can help, please send me a DM

As a direct result of the obscene actions of Russell Vought and Elon Musk in destroying USAID, we can expect “at least 9.4 million additional deaths by 2030, if the current funding trend continues. About 2.5 million of those deaths are projected to be children under the age of 5.”

One whole hour of intervals

one of my favorite posts

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Every goddamn time I see the Bad Bunny album cover I momentarily think it’s Gabor Szabo’s Magical Connection

Yes,,, your boy has taken a ride in the 4 man bobsled,,, but im an adrenaline junkie and needed to try skeleton. And now I’ve officially joined the team and am gonna try to start competing. 66 years old going 66 mph.

“The U.S. no longer has emission standards of any meaning,” said Margo T. Oge, who served as the E.P.A.’s top vehicle emissions regulator under three presidents and has since advised both automakers and environmental groups… “Nothing. Zero,” she added. “Not many countries have zero.”

Popping up across Brooklyn... All of the people featured in the windows are Black people.

White Guy STUNS Waitress By Ordering In Perfect Ebonics

It’s easy to forget how great Kawhi is because he so rarely plays. He's as much a collective hallucination as he is an athlete. Did the entity known as “Kawhi Leonard” just put Aaron Gordon in a fucking blender? Yes, but its disappearance—and possible reappearance—cannot be predicted or understood.

CHUCK: Look, I loved the Muppets and Fraggle Rock, but Jim Henson and those hippies killing all them people was wrong. SHAQ: I don’t care what you say, you look like Black Professor Honeydew. KENNY: [laughing] ERNIE: You mean Charles Manson, Chuck. Jim Henson was a puppeteer.

White people love to be named Clayton Freshcorn

The Padres signing Nick Castellanos, German Marquez, Griffin Canning, and Miguel Andujar

Just saw that Xing Zhilei, the Chinese DIY influencer, posted an update on his self-built cat town which went viral last year. youtu.be/i1savUPr-yU

[on his 18th birthday]

I didn’t think Kiké and his wife were in 🍍The Lifestyle🍍, but I respect their openness.

He was so real for this

what the hell is going on

Pepperdine????????????

This isn’t just a failure to meet the moment, but a failure to even acknowledge that there’s a moment to be met.

Happy Denzel Valentine’s Day

When your dad is a chemist

LOGOS/BUDLIGHT.GIF

Happy Valentines Day

The Black Phone is such a Scary Door-ass title.

It's okay that some kids get bullied. There should be repercussions for being an antisocial shithead. If someone is strutting around, provoking their classmates, and recording it all on Meta glasses for content, a slap upside their stupid-ass head is simply a social corrective.

Dowhammer 50k

As always, sports reveal inherent contradictions in the contemporary ethnostate. Hungary isn’t neutral on Judaism so much as it wants to act with the rabid impunity granted Israel.

No word on the chiefs of Lucky Pierre Enterprises or Wobbly H. International.

This is your regular reminder that in the year 2000, Paul Rudd, with frosted tips, appeared in the Hong Kong film GEN-Y COPS as a bad guy (kinda). In the movie, he does martial arts, fights a robot, and, most shocking of all, does an entire scene in Cantonese.

I am looking respectfully––too respectfully, even––at the Instagrams of women speed skaters. They're saying it's not even Horny, but actually Very Enlightened.

They call me "Curling's Bad Boy"