Jaxson Hayes just got hit in the beans twice in about 5 minutes—and got called for a foul the second time. My condolences to his beans.

Actually laughed out loud at these photos of Bob Mould and his partner on their wedding day

Coltranepilled and Jazzmaxing. Going Joe Henderson Mode.

this is how it feels when women are mean to you

[lactose intolerant Echo & the Bunnymen] spare us the butter

screenshot in case the post gets taken down or deleted

4. WE HAVE TO SHIT We make no apologies for saying so. We’re groundhogging right now. We would fart, but we’re afraid it would come out solid. We’re even sweating a little.

Incredible. CBS Evening News announces five new “simple values” — instead of their “38-page handbook” — as they roll out Tony Dokoupil is lead anchor. One of those values is simply: “We love America and make no apologies for saying so.”

Guy who made $53 million privatizing orphanages: This isn’t the New York I love 💔

Grail :)

Mr. Boy

Our friend the Herveo Plump Toad lives in cool, moist places high in the Andean mountains of Colombia! They are a small toad, growing to just over an inch long! (photo by Carlos A. Londoño Guarnizo)

Fox News must have 29 hours of programming every day because, every eight months or so, I learn about some show called American News Hour with Jeffrey B. Epstein, whose host is a fellow at the Constitution Society and author of books like Right is Right: A Manifesto for a New Conservatism.

Why are these people so goofy lol

I love that they keep repeating the thing about Chambliss being a DII transfer, like he was playing on a team of mouthbreathing slapdicks and not one who’s won 4 of the past 5 national championships.

Refs throwing a flag just to see if they can add another play to the game

Lane Kiffin’s about to post so many Chardonnay Mom memes about closure and inner peace on his IG story

He’s now Caribbean Chambliss. He has outgrown a single island.

All this talk about Trinidad Chambliss, but you don’t hear much about Tobago Chambliss. Makes you think.

me: these flyovers are shameless displays of militarism and huge-scale government waste also me: ha ha wow dangerous plane go fast :)

Commentators love a quarterback who isn’t literally the dumbest man in the world. Wow! He studies the playbook!

[mishearing the song] I really feel like 7 Asians is not a very big Army

Oh my god

Modelo Recruiter Sucked Me Off??

The best part of the Rose Bowl is seeing large, pink Midwesterners wandering around Los Angeles in school-branded gear, like there would be any question that the wide-eyed Protestants were from a landlocked state.

when you ask a creationist how old the world is

more like Barren Morton because there’s nothing on their side of the scoreboard

never thought I’d see a take a saucy touchback on a pick, but I’m glad to have witnessed it

Fernando Mendoza walking into the Rose Bowl, headphones on, listening to Jack Johnson's 2005 album In Between Dreams at a reasonable volume

it’s their year

This looks how wearing a condom feels.

A bit of MacAdams Family Lore is that my grandfather, as a Dallasite of mild note, was a member of the Cotton Bowl Council. Check out the sweet hand-sewn button.

Mario Cristobal has a chance to call the three funniest timeouts of his career

we’re so close to a white football player wearing an amount of eye black that’s described as “Jolsonesque”

iFunny watermark. They’re not even good at posting.

jumping a wide receiver screen like that and housing it must feel like

America After 100 Million Deportations

I just sniped a kid in Overwatch and he wrote "ohhh Kirked me" and I just found out they're using that as shorthand for a good snipe HOLY SHIT LOL

That must’ve felt so fucking good for the boulder

showing up to the nearest daycare and demanding they play Captain Beefheart’s Trout Mask Replica for the children because “it’s a mind-opening experience”

Throughout their win vs Botswana at AFCON, a DR Congo supporter replicated the stance of Patrice Lumumba, a key figure in African and Congolese independence who was assassinated in 1961 following a joint plot between political opponents, Belgium, the US, and UK 🇨🇩

Diego Pavia is...The Feral Quarterback

I fear that I may never conquer the too-orangey nature of panettone. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

If I got elbowed in the head by Jalen Duren I would no longer have a head but a loosely-congealed bag of flesh

Is it a foul to vomit on someone? No one expects to get ralphed on. It's unimaginable––and it could work.