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managed until the day before I get my cast off to not be a little ocd freak about worrying that I ruined my nose job but now it’s like the night before a final I haven’t studied for at all. I’m checking that shit out every 5 minutes and what’s happening on google search rn can never happen again

one of the leading causes of leftism is being raised by republicans

My kingdom for some black embroidery floss

I stopped smoking weed a couple months ago and I take 80mg of Prozac so every night I have dreams that would have lead me to declare myself a martyr in 1300 catholic england

My most boomer tendency is i get mad after an NHL game ends with a buzzer beater tiebreaker in regulation and the commentators are like “you’ve got to admit they really played hard and deserved a point tonight”. No they dont! Take your pansy ass participation trophy attitude back to pre k LIBERAL

Patrick Kane has the eyes of a nasty old purebred dog whose owners keep giving him life extending surgeries even though he should have been put down like 3 years ago

I’m on chapter 2 of the jakarta method and this Sukarno guy seems like a real chiller

[whispering to Miller] He'll throw you to the wolves. You'll never get a pardon. It's now or never! [slithering over to Trump] He plots against you sire! Throwing him in the dungeon will send a message to the others!

Cody is the best Joyce Manor album

Homan recreating keywiki from first principles

Dido will finally let Circe sit with her in their house

one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen

Not the point but all the peer support members being women is sooooo funnyyyyyy. Fellas is it gay to confide in a man (yes)

I wrote about my childhood friend Alexi Pretti. Please read it and share it and remember him as a human being. @theverge.com

First day back at work and I sound like millhouse in all my meetings. It’s so bad

Headshot. Clean. Precise and lethal

Silence clanker

Staying up late for no reason 😻

Target Center dunkers wear “ICE OUT” t-shirts

Voting NO on the DHS funding bill is the bare minimum. Backing Kristi Noem’s impeachment is the bare minimum. Holding law-breaking ICE agents legally accountable is the bare minimum. ICE is beyond reform. Abolish it.

STATEMENT FROM THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYERS ASSOCIATION (NBPA) AND ITS EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE ON THE FATAL SHOOTING IN MINNEAPOLIS BY ICE

“We are starting to build a huge ICE OUT sign on Lake Nokomis [in Mpls.] 100 foot letters for MSP flights to see. By day snow letters, by night we’ll light w/ candles in white paper bags Send this widely. Tonight will get it outlined. Tomorrow night we’ll light it up and keep it going all week.“

It’s so pretty outside

No one told me that when you get a nose job your upper lip essentially freezes for a month so you can only smile like the grinch

They got Edina Moms excoriating the Administration and signing off with a a land acknowledgement. They are so fucked lol

Everything I’ve learned about Alex honnold has been against my manifest will

Just blew my nose for the first time in 3 days since my nose job omg I always prayed for times like these

Alex Pretti "used to tell people off when they made sexist comments to female physicians. He bought me coffee when I had a really bad day as an intern...I laughed alongside him daily. He made a point to teach medical residents without judgement, but with a smile on his face and a joke."

One has to wonder if whoever does chuck schumers social media has a humiliation fetish

Ahman is an Akita Inu hero dog with a big face. An unofficial mascot of Akita Prefecture, his motto is "hot heart, calm head, loose body". He hits himself in the head with a plastic mallet.

Working on my night Gatorade

Barack Obama should go on traitors

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

I lived bitch

I think it’s hazing that they don’t let you drink water before you get surgery

Laying on my spiky mat and thinking about macroeconomics

Please help us bring Liam Adrian Cornejo Ramos (he’s only 5 years of age and is currently in pre-K. Yesterday, he and his father were kidnapped by ICE. This will help the family with legal services to help reunite Liam and his dad with their family. gofund.me/be8a1b2ab

Bumping that elf music youtu.be/ej4gClRjEkI?...

getting my girls together and we’re going to resurrect harry reid later in a satanic ritual

Imagine the psychic pressure of so many millions of people hoping for your death

He forgot his hearing aid charger probably

Eating 6 day old leftovers. We all become our fathers in some way

When I’m having a bad day I should be banned from using my phone and looking at any reflective surfaces. I should go and sit in a cave

New— An American citizen boarding flight from Boston to Lisbon just now told me after showing boarding pass, every passenger stopped on jetway by two ICE agents demanding to take their photo. When passenger asked why, ICE threatened to detain them. If they said no photo, couldn't board/TBD detained.