Astonished by how weird and cruel life has become. But at least everything is really expensive

"Bunch of guys obsessed with Ancient Sparta can't beat the Persians at sea" was probably one of the known-knowns, come to think of it.

Whenever someone tells me about a post on “threads” or a TikTok trend I feel myself rocketing back in time to my true belonging as a male Usenet-elitist autistic man in 1993 and only I use the computer in the right way

Crazy how other companies make protein shakes when core power exists. Like be real. You’ll never be her

If you felt the energy shift in Chicago that’s because I’ve started writing down my schedule again

Papa! I’m stunting on them, papa! It’s ever so based

If jd Vance had a brainstem this is when he’d disavow the current admin and flank with the center right wing of the Republican Party

Intern: Patient's 35 years old, checked in because he saw a dog that was "too big" Dr. Robby: Come on we talked about this. You can't come in for that Dr. Al-Ashimi: Actualllly, one in three dogs is too big *she looks at the camera* And it's perfectly normal to be afraid of them.

What’s the matter with you? What’s the matter with you, shipmate?

i’m at the point of my life where if a bartender pours me a free shot i’m like oh great. so you want me to be dead

I could be trusted with and deserve the power of levitation but only for carrying groceries

Every afternoon she turns into the office chair demon

If you move to frisco that’s on you

It wouldn’t really matter at that point but I would be so embarrassed taking mortal damage on a water slide

thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it

like wym you can make money off of ruminating now

McDonald's japan posted this

I hate late stage capitalism bc I’ve been monitoring situations for my entire teen-adult life for the love of the game. Polymarket thinks my culture is a costume

I need white boys to go back to making this kind of music again youtu.be/KU01Rix_l2w?...

"The reader is not respected enough by the software. The publisher is held hostage by incentives from an auction system that not only encourages but rewards dark patterns."

I thought about this really hard and I can’t come up with anything. Maybe being deaf is a natural counter to audio torture

Naming your company after a flop… if only Justin Timberlake had been there to tell him not to do that

Putting myself through hell and responding to emails as they come in instead of never

I like my men like I like my berries. Washed and ready to serve

Broccoli time

Personally I think society will be reorganized in a way where they have to figure out the whole student debt situation before I have to pay meaningfully on mine

If this happened to me I would livestream my suicide

I don’t want to be a doctor but I do want to get matched to residency because it looks fun. Like they all got their bids during sorority rush

Abughamentum is REAL!!!! There are 5 hours til polls close and we’ve gotta run through the tape — and we can’t do that without you. Go to katforillinois.com/vote to make your voting plan today!

Going back to physical therapy tomorrow and it’s been long enough that she will agree to tape my shoulders

Civil war reenactment where the social studies teacher cosplayed as a confederate colonel

Conflating reflection with rumination and characterizing forward progress as a unipolar destruction of the past… bald… compellingly stupid… close enough. Welcome back Marinetti

🚨 hot weird radiologist on the pitt

Pornhub search "they go to a museum and have a nice day"

It’s so funny to swing your dick around about “free soloing” El Capitan. Bro I literally conquered the Lands Between

Final battle of my blue lions maddening run in fe3h where I have to keep everyone canon to the house alive till the end. This has been one of the most harrowing experiences in my life as a gamer

“come away with me, amy, as we step through the looking-glass into a new reality.”

Slept for 12 hours last night. Feeling powerful

The only first day of sports Ive really been conditioned to care about is Opening Day because at my law school the law library served hotdogs by the reference desk every year to celebrate it

can’t really imagine being a pro athlete, an actual fairy tale job, and lusting after the idealized lifestyle of an infantryman in fallujah

Bumping that youtu.be/JZ6SbadGOwo?...

They’d put bakugo on lamictal if he was American

so the Woke Ginger can pop off but I get ran off of Craigslist for telling the truth as the Sexual Uncle. Ok

DON DRAPER, wearing a Changshan: if we want to sell this revolution as being truly universal under Heaven, we need to make inroads with the fairer sex… how about “women hold up half the sky” MAO, sucking on his teeth: god damn it gweilo you’ve done it again.

On repeat until I can figure out who it is I guess

I think a lot of people who never followed college football don't realize exactly how stupid tommy tuberville is

My hair is the longest it’s ever been. Does it look really good? No. Do I like it? No. Do I have a haircut scheduled yet. Also no, due to the economy

YES OR NO: Do you support Hakeem Jeffries continued leadership?

Trump getting all confident but he doesn’t know this is a two phase boss fight