Watching love is blind Poland

Okay be so for real. It’s usher Yeah

Damn. Should I come over? What’s the move here why am I being informed

Ivy wolk it seems I’ve become quite fond of you

Happy Mother’s Day to all who don’t celebrate

I should get status points as a super user of my health insurance

When I saw goats for the first time up close I wasn’t really expecting the horizontal pupils but no one else seemed to react or question it which made me feel like a crazy person (I was 5)

My cat won’t stop drooling on me when she’s really comfortable

There’s still time for me to be plucked from obscurity. I just know it

come over again soon 😈

Got a haircut for the first time in a year I feel so free

Wearing a white blouse and dark loose jeans and I feel like I’m about to take family pictures in this outfit

Dude at the bar tried to big dog me asking about how long I’ve lived in Chicago but he moved here in 2024

there was a really aggressive, obviously drunk guy at the bar. i was trying to figure out his deal and noticed the backwards trucker cap he was wearing spelled out “THE FRAY”

The palpable awkward energy of a bar where I estimate about 60% of people are on a first date could and should be harnessed to power a small town

I feel insane because I’m actively rooting for the economy to crash and ruin all of our lives to prove that actions have consequences which feels like trying to confirm that gravity exists by dropping an anvil on myself

What do I have to do to get diet Dr Pepper on tap at more places in Chicago

(Testing the waters) we should all get into big brother this summer (ignoring the waters) WE’RE ALL GONNA WATCH RIGHT? LIVE FEED DISCUSSIONS? PSYCHOLOGICALLY PROFILING EVERYONE?

Downstairs neighbors painted their ceiling BROWn???

Not really the point here but I love that all actual tech workers talk like this irl

This is how I talk to people irl so I love this little monster on my game

Been watching this Korean dude teach himself how to do the dougie for 83 days now and he’s getting really good

good morning!! it's that time again!!

I am your twin brother. When we were very small, our farm was attacked by ogres. My ... our father and I escaped.

Another day of googling “Jorge ii dr martens mules” 3x and indecisively clicking around on the DSW website before being like no… I shouldn’t…

Sam Altman I won’t forgive you for what you’ve done to Pinterest

Joining a run club so I can bombastically cheat on my husband

Beautiful pants, madame

Barebacking the spiky mat

Sore Fuckmann New York, Passenger Arrival Lists (Ellis Island), 1892-1925

Who is college for? What should you learn there? Well I know one thing for certain. Children are the property of their parents

Watching my hero academia and the main superhero school looks like the hennepin county govt center

Little miss swollen face

Damn. I’ll have to keep this in mind going forward

Air to Ground Message: IF YOU HAVE THE TIME... WHATS HAPPENING IN THE CANADIANS HOCKEY GAME Area: Virginia, USA Type: Airbus A321 A: #a0a5f5681ef F: #f989928a68b

Slept until 2pm because I wore my weighted sleep mask

Out on the town in my biggest jeans

the 90s rocked. snackwell cookies. Those WOW potato chips that had less fat but made you shit yourself. Slim fast from the can. Special K… having a mom with an eating disorder came with some perks if you were 8 and loved munching on Chemicals

Making my mean Serbian endocrinologist laugh and be nice to me because I have a joyful spirit

Treatment resistant inability to French braid

The plan? Make the NAVY less gay

Having a Disney movie level experience where I go for a walk in the spring with my new hearing aids and I can hear the birds

?? Yes that’s way above average

Reopening the lifeway frozen kefir smoothie place in wicker park

I don’t think white people are compatible with the power of positive thinking. Maybe believing only bad things will happen unless you try really hard was psychologically load bearing for us

Meet me at the old west themed Panda Express in Knott’s Berry Farm.

How do you feel about Donald Trump's actions as president so far? [adjacent to an artful and flattering black-and-white sketch of me] Jon, 43, white "I no longer call it the Sun. I call it the Hot Moon. You cannot catch and eat the Hot Moon because it moves too fast because it is late for school."

Really long haired cat has started blowing her winter coat. Keep me in your thoughts