“Nah, man”

writing is tortoise, podcast is hare

The election results yesterday really underline how cowardly all those democrats are who say like "We're afraid for our safety!!" as an excuse for not speaking or acting against Republicans. We're at the part of fascism where you can still do something!!

Head in hands wondering how this could happen to me, the popular president who posted a video of myself shitting on everyone 2 weeks ago

Finding out Richard Kind is only 68 made me very happy. We could easily get 20-30 more years of Kind. More if scientists allocate the proper resources to making him stronger (as I've been assured they will)

If there's one thing we can all agree on it's that Donald J Trump is going to behave really normally tomorrow. He's going to show up to work in full on regular guy mode and not say anything weird

I know they’re going to ramp up all the bad shit out of fear but I’m just trying to store up how it feels to see that some shred of Americans’ desire to do right by each other still exists

It really does feel like all the fascists are looking around like it was somebody else’s job to stop elections from happening

This app really is on it’s like fifth strike at this point

BREAKING: “Kettering” by The Antlers has been heard coming from the Cuomo residence per Reuters

this is a reminder that we dont have to settle for newsom in 2028

On one hand, the democrats could embrace popular polices, run campaigns like Mamdani's, and win constantly but that might get in the way of texting me "I am lowly as a wretched worm" three times a day

Come for the populist candidate, stay for the fact that he fills the democratic establishment with a deep sense of powerlessness and a gnawing sensation that they've become irrelevant

Very fun to see Republicans lose because they got too online and thought everyone was obsessed with doing transphobia but slightly less fun realizing that the democrats are watching this like "okay so this means the transphobe vote is open"

First daylight savings since having a kid and I'm a single issue voter now. That shit's gotta go. I understand times are tough for other reasons but that's my big thing now

I'm done washing fruit, let the apples decide when it's my time

RIP Dick Cheney For @inthesetimes.com inthesetimes.com/article/mamd...

Baby just unintentionally made Dreamworks face at me

What’s going on with this dude

When people start looking this way to me in real life it generally means I’m about to black out

There’s a point you reach where it is spiritually dinner and you can either eat dinner immediately or embark on a journey of ill advised snacks that will devastate your evening

Whenever it comes time for a new bath puff I find myself yet again tempted by the Sensual Bathing Glove

The Amazing World Of Tomorrow

I thought runes were going to be more important. I thought I was going to be learning about various runes and glyphs every day

Was just telling somebody that this series made me really *get* the appeal of baseball in a way I hadn't before and boy oh boy is this a good way to sum it up

The baseball they were using tonight died...not that any of you care.

She won.

Baseball is Magic the gathering in a lot of ways

Once per season every baseball player should be able to yell “Revolution!” and seize the bat from the active batter, initiating another at bat

Diving for a ball and catching it but then sliding on my face for a really long time, way longer than seems possible, and then that winds up being all anyone talks about is how much I slid on my face

Going out for dinner while very drunk is one of the worst feelings in the world. Feels like getting handed a plate of ravioli on the train

Doesn’t seem like a good idea to introduce a feature like this to some of social media’s proudest hall monitors

Best part of bringing a baby out in public is that if she smiles at a stranger I get to say "you carry the sacred light within you brother"

As temperatures drop and October slips through our hands, don’t be afraid to horse out one last time.

Developed an old roll of film that had one single frame from the 2024 UCLA encampment and man idk if there's a more vindicated group from the last few years than the student protestors, pretty much every single issue they dealt with has since been deployed at scale

Update: She just threw an entire beer at the wall

Some guy told me that swatting a bee just releases a pheromone that attracts more bees and fine man let them come, I’ll swallow them whole, I’m stronger than every bee who’s ever lived

*Playing Powered Cube* Incredible...Magic: The Gathering at its most unfettered. Truly this is the way the game was meant to be played *Opponent plays a single piece of power* Glutton! Coward! Beat me fair and square you unrepentant swine!

Still working on fitting into the hat

Something that really struck me here is how many bubbles formed around fully viable, useful, technologies like radio or air travel. Both industries lost 90+ percent of their market cap. Wondering what that means for tech like AI, which mostly annoys people, makes us dumb, and raises electric bills.

Chicago has claimed full cultural victory, thus bringing this game of Civ to a close

Ideal sous chef

When showing guests around your home, always be sure to say "sorry it's so messy" even if it's not. This will boggle the minds of your guests and force them to question the cleanliness of their own homes. They'll feel so ashamed of themselves. Your beloved guests will wish they'd never been born.

Maybe one of the best paragraphs about the modern internet that I've seen written, jesus.

Need the pope to make this right

I love Guillermo del Toro calling ages 19 to 29 "sublime confusion"

I believe that people should be allowed to have phases of their life they aren't proud of and not have to live in fear of them forever but I also think if you have an old Nazi tattoo and you're running for public office you should get it covered up and probably be ready to explain it lol

Only happy baseball fan in the house

Hey man just wanted to say thanks for the polite nod of acknowledgement as you walked by and sorry for killing you in my mind palace earlier, I wasn’t sure if you were friend or foe so I wanted to be prepared

List of niche sins -Eating octopus -raising color contrast on photos of fall -using chatGPT to write personal missives to loved ones -texting while driving