Not now 4 Black Eggs

instead of planes we should just have really big catapults that fire you to your destination at high speeds. way less carbon emissions that way AND if you hit anything in transit you die instantly

"pick your brain" is obviously a gross expression but I'm not sure what the alternative is. open to suggestions. maybe we get even grosser? "hey I'd love to slurp up some of your thought-juice if you have time this week"

When I was driving cross-country my taillight burned out late at night on a long stretch of New Mexico highway. The guy in the process of closing the nearest auto shop fixed my light and refused payment. I tried to give him the six pack in my trunk but he said “his wife don’t let him drink no more”

If you’re reading for awards right now, I would be honored if you would consider Iran+100, the Comma Press anthology I co-edited with Fereshteh Ahmadi and Leila Elder. It’s full of stories from Iranian writers imagining the future of Iran. The Guardian called it “imaginative, audacious, exciting.”

keep complaining about how I actually can’t drink as much orange juice as I want. I’m too busy drinking orange juice

Being an adult is mostly bad (taxes, loss) but there are perks (drink as much orange juice as you want)

my friend and I have started describing reading too much news as "looking into the orb" or "getting orbed" and you can too

Family member said I “know a lot about quests” today

Slow Horses absolutely fucks

this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier

And the last of our Lorwyn sides, a real arrow to the heart by @akemidawnbowman.bsky.social !

masked, unidentified goons who assault and murder with impunity. a literal gestapo.

This is another horrible verse on the same song: ICE is an evil, illegitimate institution that we must abolish and dismantle.

Aaaand a banger side story from now in-house magic writer @arsenaultrivera.bsky.social

it's the best time of the year (Halo run at AGDQ)

An awesome story today from @tobiogundiran.com !

“Save money by making your espresso drinks at home” and deny myself the pleasure of going to a lil coffee shop? Chit chatting with the barista? Possibly seeing a dog out for a walk???

Trying to think of any long-running show, centered around an unexplainable mystery, that people found satisfying when it ultimately concluded. Seems like best case scenario is you make the first five seasons of Lost and then someone makes television illegal

There is no ethical use of AI because the continued existence of the AI industry is directly harmful to (alongside everyone else) the interests of everyone whose labour makes books exist—writers of fiction & nonfiction, illustrators, translators, researchers, editors, everyone.

"This story doesn't need a sandworm" This is almost always wrong. Arguably, EVERY story benefits from adding a huge subterranean worm with quasi-mystical or semi-supernatural powers, or equivalent (similar to Moby Dick). Obviously the bigger the worm, the more literary quality it adds.

Y’all heard of a little game called Resident Evil 4

iOS if you’re listening here are a few emojis I would like added: Rolled up newspaper Man falling from a great height Smiley face projecting psionic waves

The grand finale of the #MTGLorwyn story releases today! Lorwyn clashes with Shadowmoor as lives hang in the balance. mtg.social/LorwynStory7#MTGLorwyn

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

The boundary between Lorwyn and Shadowmoor shifts, and a familiar face returns. #MTGLorwyn mtg.social/LorwynStory6

Today is the anniversary of “the Halo: Combat Evolved,” a horrible cocktail of gin, vermouth, GameFuel and lemon juice I made to feel something mid-Covid lockdown

why do girls need so many jars

While Ajani returns to Lorwyn to look for the lost students, the lost students are busy getting into every conceivable form of trouble. #MTGLorwyn mtg.social/LorwynStory5

This. Episode. Has. Everything. Friendship, royalty, swimming, and botany? #MTGLorwyn Episode 4: Fetch Me That Flower is waiting to be read! mtg.social/LorwynStory4#MTGLorwyn

Professor Vess and Ajani investigate the first-years’ disappearance. Hopefully they move fast, as Shadowmoor descends quickly on the unsuspecting students. #MTGLorwyn mtg.social/LorwynStory3

What happens when four students from Strixhaven find themselves in Lorwyn? They unleash a terrifying beast of course! #MTGLorwyn mtg.social/LorwynStory2

The first episode of the #MTGLorwyn story, penned by @seananmcguire.bsky.social, is here! Four first-year Strixhaven students stumble through an Omenpath to a strange new world. mtg.social/LorwynStory1

In the Waffle House trying to hit all the cardinal sins at once

If you're on Instagram, they've revealed the back cover of OMENS OF CHAOS on the official Magic account! www.instagram.com/p/DRu8LZskib...

Thinking about the majesty of fantasy fiction today

Reminder: The next entry in the Untold Stories saga is Magic: The Gathering: Untold Stories--Jace, set to kick off next February! Details: https://bit.ly/47nRAKz With @magic.wizards.com, by @michaelwconrad.bsky.social, @caitlinyarsky.bsky.social and team, variant by @ffrancavilla.bsky.social

(The year 2050) man I HATE when the teens hack my SmartInk tattoos and change them all to dicks

Sometimes I complain about people making fun of me a lot, but then I remember how often I use the word “yonder”

a couple years ago i had a Magic story come out about a sad detective who gets seduced to the dark side by a necromancer, and they posted it under some random guy's name at first, which I think resulted in fans of my previous work missing it. anyway i like it. apparently it was too gay for Russia

you'd think the forced displacement of 10 million people from one of the oldest centres of civilisation in human history would get a little more news attention than beltway journalists writing essays on how Olivia Nuzzi is a genius because they want to bone her and you'd be wrong

Doctor: I’m sorry, you have Microsoft Teams Exposure…. the only cure is watching a movie from the 90s on mute at your local dive bar

Coming Spring 2026, issue 12! Art by @marcpotts.bsky.social Design by Vince Haig. Words by @rajivmote.bsky.social @grayhaem.bsky.social @pintsncupcakes.bsky.social @breathinghead.bsky.social @noirbettie.bsky.social @rlsummerling.bsky.social and more. Pre-orders will go up early in the new year.

get yourself a girlfriend that’s constantly ordering traps and bombs from the Acme corporation even though you evade each one with a placid, oblivious smile

Post you from a different era: 21st birthday lol

I don't follow pro League much anymore but seeing that Faker is on his way to another Worlds finals stirred up some feelings in me. Just unquestionably the greatest esports athlete of all time. A monolithic avatar of human skill and achievement

another genuine heater from @trasgomorph.bsky.social

Hell what’s one more straw on the camel’s back