Dadirondack chair

FUCK ICE NOW AND FOREVER

We are here

families don't double dare like they used to

Running raisins in a rock tumbler for 5 weeks

The victim was a 19 year old transgender woman. She was stabbed to death in the laundry room of her student apartment complex. Seattle police just released these pictures of the suspect. If you know who he is, you can call the tip line at 206-233-5000.

Raisinpostimg

I may be 40 years old, but I can still turn a bag of trail mix into a bag of raisins like *that*

Affectionately: Port is a good drink if you want to get drunk off raisins

They put raisins in trail mix so children can learn how to remove things from their life that do not bring them joy

Filling a celery stick with peanut butter except adding raisins instead of bugs

What if zombies weren’t saying “braaaaains” but actually “raaaaaaiiisinsss” this whole time, like maybe they’d eat all the raisins out of your trail mix if they weren’t getting their heads blown up. Like the shrub-eating goats but for the raisins

Love devouring a sandwich that rips the roof of my mouth to shreds

I was trying to sleep, but then I remembered something embarrassing from 2008

The best revenge is living in a well

I think, with a time machine and the right amount of Baja Blast, I could kill enough Victorian children to fix all of this

What if Elliott Smith wrote Hey Ya? What if he didn’t? What if you got a job? What if my phone exploded making my face sooty black and my mustache spin around like a propeller? What if I drank a whole thing of dishwasher detergent?

Smack my dorky head

Jarred Kelenic grew a mustache

poking a straw through one of those boxed mac & cheese sauce pouches and drinking from it like a capri sun

I don't wanna get up, I'm an in bed kid, There's a million blankets in my bed that I can sleep with..

bram stoker’s lasagna

I wonder if it’s one of those things that reaches the extremities last 🤷‍♂️

Happy Monday!! #pottery

Never tell us the odds.

Ah crap you've fallen into The Device again and ended up in the 90s. Time to chose One Item to convince the natives that you are A Local.

*At the Mos Eisley cantina* If you hear this song a hundred times it still won’t be enough If you hear this song a hundred times it still won’t be enough

Remember when Costco sold 20lb bags of assorted hard candies

beloved robot PeePee 2.0 is slain by a car in the new star wars movie—And no; they cant make another one because its soul would be different

Well I just think if science was real, taking a bath would also clean the tub

Go-Gurt style tubes of McDonalds sweet n sour sauce

You mean like... virtually everyone under the age of 50?

Remake Homeward Bound but with people playing the animal parts and animals playing the people parts.

People don’t use their finger and their thumb to make the shape of an “L” on their forehead anymore

Jaws: The Revenge is a Christmas movie

why isn’t info wars on top of this??

Was out at dinner with the family but sounds like comedy is still illegal?

All the exciting new frozen burrito recipes in the world can’t stop a tortilla from turning into leather in the microwave

Can’t sleep at night, in your nice warm bed? Sleep at work

I should be able to listen to songs for a job but not have to tell people about them unless I want to. And if I do say anything about them it doesn’t have to make sense.

Jeff McNeil has resting Bruce Dern face

You won’t be able to shame me for hoarding the cases of Heinz beans that Costco was selling FYI

Cal Raleigh is on pace to appear in 61 commercials this season

Let People Drink The Fluid From The Strait Of Hormuz

A dream is a dream your heart makes

Luke Raley would hit 62 home runs this year if he were allowed to play past the 6th inning

Seasonal depression is gone. Regular depression is back! Let’s fucking gooooo!

turtles have shells so they have somewhere to hide when a contractor is at their house doing work