2026 raiders QB room

The funniest tweet ever belonged to @matthiasellis.bsky.social but he deleted it in a fit of pique. I’m pretty sure it’s the exact moment our reality veered into its present eternal hellscape.

NASA space flights are one of the coolest things this country has ever done. It’s so weird having one happen right now when well you know

Trump announces that there will be no more Super Bowls. The Seahawks are the final and eternal reigning NFL champions.

The Mariners, at 3-4, find their season on the brink of

One year the Mariners will acquire a player with the express intention of playing him out of position and the results will not be immediate and hilarious but Brendan Donovan is not the player, and 2026 is not the year.

It's going Very Well

The most wonderful time of the year

My kids’ high school band is going on a big trip over spring break and the band’s official Instagram account has just turned into a regular reminder to all the kids to pack deodorant.

Welcome to No Analysis April. For the next 30 days this account will attempt no baseball analysis beyond wins, losses, and basic counting stats. Luke Raley currently leads the 2026 Seattle Mariners with 6 RBI. Go Mariners

these days the real april fool is none other than donald trump

The Mariners are a pretty good team from top to bottom so thank god they are bad at defense otherwise we couldn’t chuckle ruefully at them as is our tradition.

Anytime you can commit yourself to 2025’s 18th-best shortstop in place of a truly exciting young talent you just gave $95 million to you gotta do it. The word sayer does not miss.

The sunlight of Colt McColt Thought illuminates the road of the Great Go Biz Revolution!

Get in losers we're Cresting

He will lead us continuous cultural revolution by means of mass mobilization of peasants (minor leaguers). @samueljoseph51.bsky.social photo credit

This is great news and also means he should be in Seattle ASAP as he is the best shortstop they have. Welcome to the Age of Colt McColt.

Hm tough AB for Cal. He could use a day off soon.

We coulda just put Jorge Polanco at third but we did not have the courage now we’re stuck with Mr. Are You Refusing To Comply farting around over there.

Luis Castillo is not the same pitcher he was when Seattle got him in 2022, but he's still really good, and vastly underrated by the M's fanbase. Vastly.

Lmao the ABS system was built for players like Jose Caballero

Wrote a quick little hit on Emerson Hancock, who looks legitimately more talented than he's ever looked in a Mariners uniform. New post up on The View Level. www.theviewlevel.com/p/this-versi...

Hearing that the NFL Rules Committee is finalizing a new rule in which Sean McVay has to agree that a play's result was deserved before it counts. "It's about ethics in play design", said the Rams HC

Reset the counter

Assigning Sean McVay Honorary Astros Fan Status because it’s very clear he is Not Mad, Actually

This is why after "punish the villains" we are doing "toddler new deal." National policies like treat people the way you want to be treated, clean up after yourself, share your toys

I am a person who has benefitted from The World Order most of my life due to my gender/race/sexual orientation and so on. I do not see a path forward where we let anyone even tangentially-related to allowing this all to happen be near the levers of power ever again.

I’m in for these being full time. They’re beautiful

Ferry beer

The SD leaders neatly sidestepped answering for this massive strategic miscalculation by never talking about it and skipping right to the mutiny of the Petrograd garrison when retelling the story of the revolution

The best part about 1917 is SD leaders told women not to turn out for International Women's Day protests in March because it was a lib-coded distraction and they wanted to save their juice for May Day. Instead the women turned out anyway and those protests literally sparked the revolution

This is nice of him but anyone who watched the game knows who’s responsible for the loss. You, the fan

Shoutout to all the folks who waved their membership cards at me

Cal Raleigh is 0-for-7 with 7 strikeouts. Ass toward enemy

good morning the mariners are 1-1 and the following is every hit they’ve had this season so far… hr hr hr double double hr triple hr hr they have yet to hit a single

Sorry for being late but huge congratulations to the Houston Astros, who were not shutout in a 6-2 loss to the Angels last night.

Great win last night. Getting ahead of things, since there should be plenty to celebrate is like to re-iterate what I said last year: The dinger trident and infield dance are played out and need to go. thelightbat.substack.com/p/4425-new-b...

The Guardians counter with French Dom Canzone

Angie rocks so hard. Grateful to call her a friend, and thrilled she's back on-air this season. www.seattlemet.com/news-and-cit...

Kash Patel is such a Trump 1.0 holdover. All the 2.0 folk are so horrifically evil they are incapable of being funny but Kash is a callback to the days of The Mooch, Sean Spicer, et al. More grifting buffoon than fascist.

Many are asking me - famous for never being owned - how I'm going to respond to a 35+ home run season from Dominic Canzone. At this time, in consultation with my doctor, priest, and family, my plan is to simply pretend I've always liked him. Thank you.

Ah well Dan Wilson is only able to work with what he’s got* *good relievers he’s not pitching** **post-church potluck casserole brain

A Dom Canzone suggests the existence of a Submissive Canzone. Sorry. You're welcome. But sorry.

Fun and good game. Happy baseball is back. Beats, uh, most other things currently happening.

Didn’t remember Brendan Donovan being on the USA WBC team

This is true. Humpy must die.

No superimposed strike zone on the broadcast

Just checking for anyone else enjoying Opening Day with the miracle of streaming technology: is the audio horrifically messed up?