*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great *in reindeer chat* BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess DonnerTime: buncha dolphies? VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh

I never, ever in my whole life doubted, even for one minute, that my parents loved me. Not once. Make sure your loved ones know you love them. It makes all the difference when you leave them.

I managed to not cry till I left my parents’ house, but I’ve been sobbing pretty hard since then. It’s so hard to watch them decline.

merry christmas

This is the last Christmas where my mom will be aware that it’s Christmas, or who I am. 💔

succumb to the spirit of the holidays. commit violence.

“The television is on fire! You’re laughing at me and the television is on fire?! I’m the only one who’s trying to save us all!”

It’s hard to find a YouTube compilation of Christmas music, because the dog loses his shit when there’s a fireplace or any animal on the TV.

As someone who ended up with an eight inch chef's knife in her foot, jump away.

Here's a long-form threaded version of a typo laden post I dashed off last night.

I am going to tell a story as small and close to myself as I can, before I go set luminarias outside. These lanterns, brown paper bags with sand and candles, are part of the recieved culture of New Mexico, the place where my family moved when I was 1.5 and have now lived again for nearly a decade.

Found your mom's restaurant

Cedar waxwings operate outside the laws of god and man!

Tree, now with presents. I should be able to supervise Higgins until they’re opened tomorrow. (he’s been going under the tree and wrinkling up the skirt like it’s one of his blankets.)

Worked an eight-hour day today. 🤪

I am convinced in the future we will look back and realise the sheer unimaginable folly of letting a virus that can cause immune dysregulation and cognitive dysfunction in humans infect and re-infect the global population over and over again. Worse still, that we encouraged it.

Hey Now You're a Boxcar Full of Children Solve Crimes

A small (personal) example of this book’s intellectual dishonesty: My father-in-law is reading In Covid’s Wake, and excitedly told me he found a passage where I’m quoted. The quote in question is me saying the FBI worked to censor speech on social media. Huh? When did I say that?!

The @princetonupress.bsky.social needs to pull the book and issue a correction while investigating what other errors, omissions, and disinformation they allowed to go to print.

I think a great Christmas tradition would be for every city to close off one major street Christmas Day. Traffic is down that day anyway. Kids could tryout their new bikes. People might go out for just the novelty of it. People would get a chance to photograph buildings without cars.

Romance novella about a chubby butch lesbian on a motorcycle trip whose bike breaks down outside a small town and oops! all she has to bundle up for the walk into town is her full Santa suit. And double oops! the only room available is at the hot nonbinary mayor’s house. There is probably a pet dog.

Just kidding. That photo was actually tweeted by then-Deputy Prime Minister of Russia (now senator) Dmitry Rogzin to sarcastically wish a happy new year “to our NATO friends!” I coined the SLEIGH acronym a few years later. Rogozin’s tweet was deleted in 2020, but here it is, preserved for posterity.

In December 2013, in an unusual joint venture, the Votkinsk Machine Building Plant in Russia and Ded Moroz (Father Frost, the East Slavic version of Santa Claus) proudly announced the deployment of the new and very accurate Supersonic Low-Earth Intercontinental Gift Hauler (SLEIGH).

From 1964-70, the National Museum of the United States Air Force in Dayton, Ohio, decorated its retired Atlas D ICBM (which once carried a 1.4-Megaton W49 warhead) as Santa Claus for Christmas. Because nothing says Christmas and peace on Earth like a thermonuclear war. Ho-ho-holocaust!

Michelle’s letter to President Kennedy (written in pencil) read simply: “Dear Mr. Kennedy, Please stop the Russians from bombing the North pole. Because they will kill Santa Claus. I am 8 years old. I am in the 3rd grade at Holy Cross School.” Here is the backstory on how she came to write it.

On October 28, 1961—two days before the Soviet Union‘s much-publicized test of a massive 50-Megaton thermonuclear bomb (later dubbed Tsar Bomba) in the Arctic—President John F. Kennedy tried to reassure 8-year-old Michelle Rochon of Marine City, Michigan, that “you must not worry about Santa Claus.”

In the early 1960s, Santa even gave the US Air Force a brand new, liquid-fueled Titan I ICBM armed with a 4.5-Megaton W38 warhead (for use against the especially naughty?).

Here’s a staged publicity photograph circa late 1950s to 1960s of two Air Force enlisted men “tracking” Santa’s sleigh at a SAGE (Semi-Automatic Ground Environment) air defense radar site somewhere in the United States (note the “light gun,” a very early kind of computer mouse, in one man’s hand).

“When a childish voice asked [Combat Operations Center] Commander Col. Harry Shoup if there was a Santa Claus at the North Pole, he answered much more roughly than he should … : ‘There may be a guy called Santa Claus at the North Pole, but he’s not the one I worry about coming from that direction.’”

70 years ago, after a child in Colorado Springs, CO, misdialed a phone number, a clever colonel at the Continental Air Defense Command—and, later, NORAD—was inspired to create a public relations campaign to protect Santa Claus from the godless Soviet communists and normalize the risk of nuclear war.

You may not know it, but over the years Santa Claus has had an interesting relationship with nuclear weapons. During World War II—on a visit to the Clinton Engineer Works in Oak Ridge, Tennessee—his sack of toys was subjected to a thorough search before he was allowed to enter the secret city.

Just pointing out that this has been the plan all along, aided by the Claremont Institute, and Tom Homan, who have always wanted to see this happen.

Absorb and adsorb are two different things. Fuse and fuze are different things. Not all ketchup is tomato based.

Christmas… *gulp*…EVE?! Like where the sins of the world came from

do anti-woke british people say they're "Going on Christmas"

*deep drag on a cigarette* Kids, there was once a thing called the Sear's Portrait Studio. Mother's had big dreams of "perfect" portraits of their children, only to have those dreams mercilessly crushed. Alcoholism & pill addiction soon followed. It was a portal to hell I tell you.

here cops broke into a pregnant woman's house, threatened to take away her kid, and then tried to kidnap said kid only to then arrest the mother all because they wanted her to testify they way they wanted.

law enforcement across the country does it all the time, always under the banner of "helping." it does not help that many law enforcement agencies rely on the ideas that girls have a form of stockholm syndrome and thus NEED to be arrested to be saved.

the least shocking thing in the epstein files that wont get enough attention. police regularly arrest and charge victims to coerce them into participating, often jailing them in conditions that are worse.

“Pray tell, the Baron, what sort of gentleman is he?” “Well…”

PT 🏆

Christmas Eve as a mom: festively doing chores in a festive onesie while doing festive math problems in your head calculating if you got equal presents for the kids and remembering where the festive heck you hid them

Just set my email autoreply to the word DON'T in 72pt bold caps

Dragging civil rights out and tolerating open gangsterism across the south for a whole ass century because hanging all the confederates felt like poor taste or something. At some point we gotta deal with this evil we all keep putting it off and it's not working.

Tomorrow evening it’ll be my annual duty to vaguely shepherd the activity on the #duvetknowitschristmas hashtag and urge people to give small sums to charity. 7.30pm? Something like that?

of course bari weiss can be both stupid and evil! that is the point of transphobia, it is evil that you can do even if you are too stupid for other forms of evil, because you can just say the same 2-5 transphobic things over and over again and you get an automatic audience of rich credulous freaks

This year To save me from tears, I'm giving it To a kestrel.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day You gave it a weigh.