ICE* is a common slang term for METH** *Immigration+Customs Enforcement **Murder Everyone, Take Hostages

Bro I died in your arms tonight bro. It must have been something you said..

i used to think that shocking and surprising were synonymous, but i was wrong because every day is shocking but not surprising

Bluesky community! This is my official NYC mayor account. I’ll be posting updates on what’s happening at City Hall and how we’re delivering for New Yorkers. It’s great to be here.

man, we picked the wrong time to stop sniffing glue

Gonna start asking my future sexual partners if they've got the safety on that thang

I want to see a liberal politician come out with a statement saying "Stay strapped out there, we have the 2nd amendment to protect us from a tyrannical government" just to see how MAGA reacts

Everything happening now has a precedent. This is not new. Please understand that everything happening now is very American. The only change is that it is happening on camera to middle income white people. Ask BIPOC and low income white people about abuses by the state.

To anybody who is offended by the governor of Minneapolis telling ICE “get the fuck out of our city,” but not offended by ICE ethnic cleansing secret police summarily executing a local mom, a message: Go fuck yourself. Learn the difference between a swear word and an obscenity.

The inability to feel shame should not be considered a strength.

acab includes dry january

Please stop reposting that BNO News account. All they’re doing is reposting information from Minnesota journalists but without any credit or sourcing.

Really fun group discussion over on Twitter about what “murder” actually is. Learning a lot!

No AI slop memes. None. Not if they're leftist. Not if they're progressive. Not ever.

@schumer.senate.gov refuses to say whether he thinks @democrats.senate.gov should vote against DHS budget without constraints on ICE. Replace this man as soon as possible.

AOC: This has now become what we feared most about ICE for a long time—that it would be used as an anti-civilian force with no accountability. At the end of the day, what we saw today was a murder, and murders in cold blood need to be prosecuted.

in other news 🔥 🌎 more at eleven

POTUS - What do you want America? Americans - Hot gay hockey player television shows from Canada. POTUS - Sorry, we only have imperialism. We might conquer the people who make the hot gay hockey player show.

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

THEY MURDERED AN AMERICAN CITIZEN ON CAMERA WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE

When You’re a Cop They Let You Do Murder Here, Which Is Why We Were So Mad You Kept Giving Them Tanks

Unionizing this bowling alley just so I can authorize a strike

Happy birthday, instead of weight loss ads you'll now start receiving anti aging propaganda

My parents are divorced so we have two January 6ths

I am fucking begging all of you to wear masks. Please don't be one of the hundred thousand people to die a year.

Repeat after me: the fancy soaps aren't candy

On the bright side, “Call of Duty: Greenland” will be a lit game.

Legal hack: if you show up to court with a big dusty legal tome opened to a random page, claim whatever you want then slam it shut, they just give it to you no one wants to try to find whatever page that was

Hellsight is 666/666 vision 🏆👑 Congratulations @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social from @brickmahoney.bsky.social

the annoying little jokes will continue until morale improves, and then keep going after that too

A piñata full of unused new year's resolutions.

Horrifying if literal: bottle neck

When Elon changed the name of Twitter to X everyone was like "what the fuck, that sounds like the name of a website for extremely illegal pornography made by and for nazis" And behold what it became. Nominative determinism go ew

Remembering the guy on Twitter who was anti vax but got the flu shot and said the flu shot is a “shot,” not a “vaccination,” totes different bruh.

did he rename it trumpezuela yet

DR: are you hydrating ME: yes but my name isn't drating

What idiot called it a chronic migraine and not a Satanic temple

She Kirkland on my signature until i vodka

A kissing booth but for little boops on the nose.

Has anyone asked the President how he is paying for his invasion

gotta say it's pretty ridiculous being governed by people who take testosterone supplements and boner pills but don't want anyone else to have gender affirming care

imagine taking screenshots of a bunch of my posts to say that I’m being paid by the Kremlin and I’m just over here making fart jokes about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

if you're thirsty, they're thirsty. water your electronics

I walked into Sam’s today and one of the first things I heard was a worker offering samples. “Do you want some sparkling protein?” I heard her say it twice. I ran away so I cannot explain what she meant. But it’s very clear protein has jumped the shark.

my ny resolution to be grouchy af is going great

Hey, quick show of hands, how about if we don’t do tomorrow.

Very touched to receive my insurance company's best New Year's wishes in their corporate email spam blast

Avatar: Fire & Ash Williams

Walking into the ocean sounds so relaxing right now